Mother Advice Please! UPDATE!!!!

[jodifla]

My son just turned 3, May 27th. He can count to 12. He can point to shapes and tell you what they are. He can sing songs from his shows. But he doesn't really say many sentences at all. And sometimes he will just look at me and says jibberish. You can tell he wants to talk and tries but it doesn't make sense and they aren't words. It's like if you say something first or he watches it he will repeat it but never just on his own.

Is this normal? I talked to his dr about it at his 3 year check up and she said I could have him evaluated if I wanted to but she never said if she was concerned or not.

If you were in my shoes would you be worried at all? Most people I talk to give me the same..."he's a boy"..."he'll talk when he wants to". ...etc.

More opinions would be appreciated.

Thanks!

As the mom of a child with a Severe Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language delay with auditory processing difficulties, I do say to have him evaluated. Being 3 and unable to express himself will become more and more frustrating to him, and to you. You'll want to start helping him to be able to speak or sign to get his viewpoints out there.

BUT!!!!!!

Do your research and don't necessarily believe everything the evaluator tells you. Particularly if you go through the schools, there are people who know what they are doing, and people who have NO idea of what they are diagnosing. We've had several evaluations, some through schools, some through a University research center, and through a children's treatment center through a regional hospital.

The school evaluations were by far the weakest and told us the leasta bout what was going on.

And... WRONG Dxs can do a lot of harm!!

Autism is the go-to evaluation these days, unfortunately. See how quick some PPs ran to that suggestion! But dig around, and you'll find NIH studies that about half of autism Dxes given to very young kids are wrong. Too many "evaluators" can't distinguish between language issues and autism. And so often, once parents get an autism Dx, they immediately start a rush of very expensive, often totally bogus "treatments."


Check out Communicating Partners by Dr. Jim McDonald, or the Hanen books out of Canada.

Check out the books The Mislabeled Child from your library. Very interesting info in there, and it helps you pinpoint exactly what is going on with your child.

Check out the NaturalLateTalkers group on yahoo. Thousands of parents there, lots of great advice.

Think carefully about what evaluators tell you about your child, Get more than one opinion if what they are telling you seems off.

Also, a last note: If you go through the schools, they may offer you an preschool program. Some are great, and some are just WAREHOUSES! So visit and find out whether the program matches your child. Make sure they have an actual CURRICULUM!!

Also, in most states, you child can stay under an Early Childhood Developmental Delay label and get ALL the services he needs. They may push for some other label, but your child is really young to label, unless your research and gut tell you another label would be better.

Good luck!

 

[arcticdisneylovers]

If your gut is telling you there is problem you should have him evaluated. I would definately be concerned at his age. The sooner you can get help the better for your son. Good luck!

 

[squirrel]

I can't believe that you want to wait a bit! Everyone is telling you to get an evaluation done. If there is something wrong, it is so much easier to correct when the children are young. Even if he never speaks-they will teach you ways to comunicate with him and ways for him to comunicate to others.

My niece had club feet. But because my mother noticed it by the time she was 6 months, my niece only had to wear casts for a month or so. Then into special shoes and no bar. She wore the shoes til she was about 3. If my mom didn't notice it, it would have taken a lot longer to correct my niece's feet. Oh, and she was seen by two different doctors-the specialist that delivered her and her family doctor and neither one noticed the problem with her feet!

 

[Leajess99]

My youngest was severely speech delayed and 2 peds both said that their kids were late talkers, etc. I was not comfortable at her lack of speech so I called First Steps (Early Intervention/Birth to 3) and did a self referral. They came out and evaluated her and she was placed in speech with the therapist supposed to come to our house. I had to fire the first therapist as she wasted 11 weeks only showing up twice. The second therapist was wonderful. At 3 my daughter started preschool in our district and last year she was finally on age level. She still struggles some with her speech sounds but because I refused to listen to the "she's just a late talker" my daughter got the help she needed.
IF you think there is a problem than please have your son evaluated. Since he is 3 he will be evaluated through Headstart or your local school district. You are his biggest advocate and never stop pushing for him if you think there is an issue.

 

[Leajess99]

My son will turn 3 next month and he struggles with sentences. He has a lisp and I know there are a lot of things that he wants to say but doesn't know the words. I'm going to give him some more time before I start searching for speech therapists. I'm hoping that he will grow out of it, but I'm trying to be patient. Try waiting a little bit longer (maybe 6 months) and see if he comes out of it.

I would so not wait and get the evaluation now. If he needs speech get it for him now rather than waiting until later when he is in Kindergarten. It is harder on a child being pulled out of Kindergarten or higher grades than it is on a preschooler. I am thankful my youngest made the strides she did and did not have to be pulled from kindergarten for speech therapy. Your son may also be tongue tied and need the thing under his tongue clipped. Better to take care of it now than to wait and possibly let it get worse. Have you ever wondered how frustrating it is for your son?? My daughter showed her frustration by biting because we did not understand what she wanted. Imagine how you would feel if you wanted to say something but could not figure out the words.

 

[Leajess99]

Your DH remembers ST, so he was older. The program for kids under 3 is SO FUN! Miss Janine would come with her bag of toys, and, unfortunately for us, ds had a twin, who would cry when her brother got to play with Miss Janine. Ask around - ST is usually LOVED by the kids, especially under 3. If you get him in now, he might not need ST later on.

Even in preschool speech therapy was fun for my youngest DD. She loved going with Ms. Maria as did the other kids in her class. When she was in Early Intervention she would get to do art each session and then have to practice the sound associated with the picture. My youngest was diagnosed with Apraxia of Speech and her second ST was so wonderful. I never realized how much work comes with knowing the sounds of the letters of the alphabet until my youngest and her ST.

 

[crabbygal902]

I know how concerned you must be. It is frightening as a parent to think that your child may have a problem. Trust me, I've been there and we had both of our sons evaluated at early ages.

My 4 yr old (when he was 2/3) was doing the same things as your child---seemed very intelligent but couldn't speak well. It was as if he didn't have enough words to express what he wanted to say and was trying to use sentences before using just individual words. Boy, were we worried about him. We had him evaluated...and he is just fine. No intervention was needed and he is one of the brightest kids in his preschool class. I am kind of kicking myself in the behind because now all he does is express himself FULLY all day long!!

We also have an Asperger's child. IF there is something...I don't want to say wrong...different is a better word---you'll be so glad that you started the process early! We began therapy at age 3 and I don't think we'd be where we are today at age 9 without that early intervention. I am CERTAINLY not saying that you are looking at autism, just trying to give a little perspective from where we've been.

An evaluation can't hurt, heck, ours was free in the state of NC. It sure was hard making that appointment for this momma, but I'm glad I did.