more birthday party drama

[3prettyprincesses]

I'm still in shock that some idiot parent would think to bring their child to a party they weren't invited to. I can't imagine showing up with my child at a party they weren't invited to. I'm just astounded. What is wrong with people? My mom was BIG on teaching us manners. Always say please and thank you. Be polite, treat others how you want to be treated. Don't invite yourself to other people's houses. I guess she should've added "Don't go to parties you aren't invited to" as well!

 

[hereyago]

When Dd was in Kindergarten. Her best friend had a birthday party. You would not believe how many siblings showed up. One girl had 4 siblings and the parent left!

 

[hereyago]

And since I am on a roll. you know what else isn't cute? A precious snowflake who likes to help the bday kid unwrap their presents. I have also not re invite a kid for that. SOrry but the age of 8 your kid should know that the world doesnt revolve around him or her and you shouldn't think it's cute.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

my kids are older but believe me -- been there done it all. That's why after a while I started planning parties where any number of kids would be acceptable and it wasn't costing me per child. It was WAY easier that way on me. Shoot....the kids never think about it.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Have you tried to find Jessica's parents # via the phone book or whitepages.com? Or call the school today and ask them if THEY would call the house and leave a message with your phone #? I can't imagine that all these people have unlisted numbers.

 

[Dancemom03]

"my special snowflake is worth the extra you're shelling out to bask in her presence"

Ahhh... so you've met my princesses...

 

[MrsPete]

Something I started doing with birthday parties that worked WONDERS: On the invitation I gave the date but omitted either the time or the location. This meant that people HAD TO CALL if they planned to attend. They couldn't just show up.

Of course, that doesn't help you now . . .

I'd assume that the girls to whom you've spoken are going to attend and no others. If the others show up, I'd assume an air of rattled concern and would say, "But, but you didn't RSVP . . . we didn't know you were coming. We haven't included you in the make-over group. Oh, if only we'd known. Oh, I'm so sorry to leave you out." And then I'd turn right back to the birthday party.

As for the girl who wasn't invited, do you know her? If you don't, or if you don't know her well -- if she shows up -- I'd make that clear to the mom who brings them: "Hi, there. Are you in my daughter's class? What's your name?" That should make it evident that she wasn't invited.

Awful? Yep. But if more people didn't let others slide by with this rude behavior, it'd stop! I tell you , I'd do it.

 

[MrsPete]

I would try one last time to get an RSVP either way from Jessica's mom. Since you don't have a phone number, send a note to school with your DD tomorrow for Jessica to give to her mom. Just say something like, "My DD gave Jessica an invitation to her party and we haven't heard from you yet. The party is on (date) at (time, place). Please call me tonight to let me know if Jessica will be able to come or not." If she doesn't call, don't worry about it. If she does and says yes, tell her you are looking forward to seeing Jessica at the party. Don't mention Victoria or ask if she's coming, too. Jessica's mom will have the chance to say something about Victoria if she wants to. If Victoria shows up anyway, let her join the party but mention to whoever picks her up that you were surprised to see her since she wasn't invited. That should wake someone up!

A note's a good idea. I'd word it like this: I am making final preparations for the party, and if I don't hear from you by 7:00 tonight I'll assume that Jessica has other plans for Saturday.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

When Dd was in Kindergarten. Her best friend had a birthday party. You would not believe how many siblings showed up. One girl had 4 siblings and the parent left!

My D8 (at the time) had a friend to his party whose parents brought slightly older sister and a 4 year old! And left! When I took the kids out for a scavenger hunt around out pond, I ended up having to carry the little guy because he was tired!

These folks were of a different culture, and I got the impression that this was a normal thing to do. Thankfully, it was a house party so no extra stress. Just really strange!

No more parties for us!

ETA: If I got a hold of Jessica's mom and she accepted the invite, I would say something like "Great, I'm so glad she can come. That will fill up our allotment of guests for the day". No way would I leave it up to chance that Victoria might be invited by them. Saying something to the person that picks her up will do nothing. It may not even be the person who thought it was OK for her to come along.

 

[HM]

OP, I'm sorry you are having to stress over this. I hope it all works out. Pixies to you.


I am really glad that every party I ever had for my kids (now 14 and 16) were held at my house or at our pool. No worrying about limits on kids...how much it will cost to add extras, what if not enough show up?, etc....

 

[luvsJack]

Everyone keeps saying things about Victoria's mom, but she may not even realize what is going on. The girls are sleeping over at Jessica's house so it would be Jessica's mom that is bringing someone that was not invited.

Maybe Jessica's mom told Victoria's mom that it would be ok for the child to tag along to the party. She may not even know that it is going to cost you to add another guest or maybe she just assumes Victoria was invited or maybe she is planning to pay for Victoria herself.


I think the main thing to do is to contact Jessica's mom. And if she says Jessica is coming, just tell her what your dd told you and that you are not able to accomadate another child.

If you can't get in contact with her and they both do show up, IMHO saying something to the child would be as wrong as the mother was for sending her.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't know if it's a regional thing, but I've never even had a parent ask to bring siblings, never mind bringing them without asking. Now, if they both show, I'd suck it up and pay. You never know - Jessica could've told the girl that she is invited, and told Jessica's mom this. This little girl then tells her parents she's invited (I'd never take the word of my child in this situation, but some parents might, especially if they're from a different culture). I have 7 year olds, and I can't tell you how many times they come to me after school, telling me that they were invited to so-and-so's house. I just tell them that unless I told to a child's mom, they're not invited.

 

[surfergirl602]

Ugh. I really don't like parents that do this. Just dump their kids wherever. My DD's 9th birthday was at the bowling alley. I had to prepay for the guests, and I had an rsvp date. Some didn't rsvp, but showed up anyway. Some showed up with a friend or a sibling, and the parents just wanted to drop them off! I had to tell them as nice as I could, Look, I already prepaid for the party for the people that rsvped. If you want your friend/sibling to stay, it's going to be $$ per person. I had already prepaid for the food, the games, the cake, everything, and there were four extra people there. And at almost 15 bucks per kid, that was a lot I wasn't willing to shell out! It was very frustrating.

 

[surfergirl602]

I wouldnt tell tag a long girl, but I would tell the mom that brought them that tag a long wasn't invited and she would have to pay her way.

Yes, I would too.

 

[surfergirl602]

I swear, next year, we're going way simpler with way less friends.

Ha ha, next year we're going simpler with way less friends as well. DD will be turning 10, so we're going to Disney.

 

[MrsPete]

ETA: If I got a hold of Jessica's mom and she accepted the invite, I would say something like "Great, I'm so glad she can come. That will fill up our allotment of guests for the day". No way would I leave it up to chance that Victoria might be invited by them. Saying something to the person that picks her up will do nothing. It may not even be the person who thought it was OK for her to come along.

That's nicely worded. It leaves no doubt that you've planned for X number and have no room for more.

 

[handinpocket]

A *7* year old said she was coming to the party. No way would I believe a bit of it. She probably heard her friends talking about it and was just saying that to feel a part of the crowd. I would never think a mother would just bring an univited guest. I think the OP is creating unnecessary drama due to the words of a *7* year old.

Just had to say, when my kids were in that age range, one of them would constantly tell people that we were going to WDW next week. Of course it wasn't true and was the imagination of a *7* year old.

 

[Jen414]

update---Jessica and Victoria did not show up, so I worried for nothing. My girls had a great time as did the other the girls that came. We had one no show--oh well, she missed out on having a good time. Next year we are going way simpler!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

So glad you all had a good time. Happy Birthday Jen414's DD!

 

[Liberty Belle]

There's seems to be a lot of this lately, but here's my story. Saturday, my girls are having a glamor party at Snip-Its. The minimum number of girls is 8 and the maximum is 12. They invited 11 girls. 5 rsvp'ed by the date (this past Monday). I then had my girls attempt to get the other girls' phone numbers. They were able to get 2 of the 6. (We don't get a class list and there is no student directory. I do have access to every single child's phone number and address in our district due to my husband's job (juvenile detective) but I don't think I should be using that list to get phone numbers for birthday parties.) All of the girls who hadn't rsvp'ed come from homes where another language is spoken. Of the 2, I got one mom who I talked to for a moment, but then she gave me to her daughter who acted as a translator--she's coming. The other girl--I left her mom a message and then we called her again today. The girl answered and said she didn't know. I had my daughter tell her to ask her mom or dad and she said she'd have to call us back tomorrow. Whatever The party is Saturday--to be honest, I don't care if if the ones who didn't rsvp don't come.

Here's the dilemma--Jessica is one of the ones who hasn't rsvp'ed. Apparently she goes no where without Victoria. Victoria is not a girl who my 2 particularly like so didn't invite her. Jessica has said Victoria is sleeping over her house on Friday and then Saturday they're both coming the party. Now, I realize they're 7 years old, so there is probably no truth to this, but it could be true. What do I say if they both show up? First, if it was just Jessica, I would probably just make a comment about the fact that we're so happy you came, we weren't expecting you since you didn't rsvp, etc. etc. But if Victoria is there too........my girls didn't invite her and at $25 per girl, I'm not really up for just letting her stay. Anyone run into this situation? I would call Jessica's mom to confirm whether she's coming or not, but I don't have her number. My husband keeps saying, "Well, this is what you get for inviting kids who you don't know their mother." ---As always, he's a bundle of help!!!

She's 7. Unless she has a history of burning down buildings or something, why not let her come? You have the room left, right?

ETA: Nevermind - I see this is already over.