More backyard drama...

[Scurvy]

Ditto!!! I will never understand why some people move into neighborhoods when they should have moved out into the country with NO neighbors!!

I don't understand why the statements on this thread are so extreme. Maybe it's because I missed the other thread, but this seems over the top to me. Either kids can play hide and seek in everyone's yard or they can't play it at all, either you let anyone and everyone play in your yard or you're a hermit who ought to live alone out in the country. Really?! Responses like this seem to be a major overreaction.

I live in a neighborhood and I get along well with my neighbors. We also respect each other's personal property. Frankly I think that makes us all get along better than we would otherwise. As another poster mentioned, good fences make good neighbors. Where there are no fences, we still have a good idea of where our property begins and ends and we respect those boundaries. All the neighborhood kids have been taught that they don't go into someone else's yard unless they've been invited. We don't cut across each other's lawns, we don't wander into each other's homes, we don't borrow things from each other's garages without permission. And yet somehow we still get along and watch out for each other. Our kids play together. . . even in our yards, if they are invited to.

It's fine if you want to have more of an "open door policy" when it comes to your own property, but it's ridiculous to act as though someone will be a pariah if they choose to enforce more rigid boundaries for their own property.

 

[ZachnElli]

I don't understand why the statements on this thread are so extreme. Maybe it's because I missed the other thread, but this seems over the top to me. Either kids can play hide and seek in everyone's yard or they can't play it at all, either you let anyone and everyone play in your yard or you're a hermit who ought to live alone out in the country. Really?! Responses like this seem to be a major overreaction.

I live in a neighborhood and I get along well with my neighbors. We also respect each other's personal property. Frankly I think that makes us all get along better than we would otherwise. As another poster mentioned, good fences make good neighbors. Where there are no fences, we still have a good idea of where our property begins and ends and we respect those boundaries. All the neighborhood kids have been taught that they don't go into someone else's yard unless they've been invited. We don't cut across each other's lawns, we don't wander into each other's homes, we don't borrow things from each other's garages without permission. And yet somehow we still get along and watch out for each other. Our kids play together. . . even in our yards, if they are invited to.

It's fine if you want to have more of an "open door policy" when it comes to your own property, but it's ridiculous to act as though someone will be a pariah if they choose to enforce more rigid boundaries for their own property.

And your comment is also extreme. You took 2 kids playing hide and seek, in her yard for probably less than 60 seconds and turned it into people wandering into other people's homes and borrowing things out of garages without permission. My neighbors get along fine also and kids can and will occassionally run into each others yards while playing and nobody gets their panties in a twist over kids playing. The kids here will also occassionally play in the street <<gasp>>. Kick ball and street hockey are still common and guess what!? I can't think of any overweight kids out of 150 homes!!

 

[Scurvy]

And your comment is also extreme. You took 2 kids playing hide and seek, in her yard for probably less than 60 seconds and turned it into people wandering into other people's homes and borrowing things out of garages without permission. My neighbors get along fine also and kids can and will occassionally run into each others yards while playing and nobody gets their panties in a twist over kids playing. The kids here will also occassionally play in the street <<gasp>>. Kick ball and street hockey are still common and guess what!? I can't think of any overweight kids out of 150 homes!!

No, of course I didn't. Did you miss the beginning of the sentence you bolded? Maybe I should have been more clear. My point was that we respect all property boundaries. We would no more let our kids play in someone else's yard without permission than we would let them play in someone else's garage or house without permission. You can draw your boundaries wherever you want, and the OP has the right to enforce her boundaries wherever she wants as well. The fact is that her yard is as much her private property as her garage and her house, and she has every right to expect that people respect that.

Seriously, what's with the <<gasp>> and the comment about playing the street and overweight kids? Do you think kids in the OP's neighborhood or my neighborhood are overweight because they don't go into other people's yards without permission? How does respecting people's personal property have anything to do with being overweight? What does playing in the street have to do with playing in someone's yard uninvited? ETA - Maybe this was covered in the other thread? Is the OP against kids playing outside or does she support kids being overweight? If not then I'm at a loss as to how they relate. Maybe I need to read the other thread.

 

[nhpooh]

Ok I am done!

 

[Lionqueen2]

Unlike some of the other posters here, I feel that you are entitled to privacy in your own yard if that is what you want. I also think that liability could be a real issue if one of the kids ends up being hurt in your yard particularly if you have allowed them to play there by not saying anything.
Neighborhood issues can be tricky. I hope you are able to get everything resolved easily.

 

[Liberty Belle]

12 yo boys and 13 yo girls don't play hide and seek anymore. It is more than likely that they would be doing something else like smoking or worse. I would not want my dock or backyard to be the place for kids to hang out.

As a young child we played hide and seek but not in yards that were not our own.



Exactly. ITA



The kids are not playing - they are trespassing - there is a difference. While I would attempt to talk to the kids and then the parents first, if the OP doesn't get anywhere with them she has every right to call the police to report trespassing in her yard. However, I would suggest that this is an absolutely last resort option.

Wha..huh? You think twelve year olds are more likely to be smoking or "doing something worse (drugs? sex?) than playing hide and seek?

 

[MaumeeMom]

Wha..huh? You think twelve year olds are more likely to be smoking or "doing something worse (drugs? sex?) than playing hide and seek?

I was going to drop this thread but it looks like I have to defend my statement.

No, kids that age do not play hide and seek. They may play similar games but hide and seek is a "baby" game or so I was just told when I asked my 12yo DS. The kids I know play football, soccer, Nerf tag, etc. but not hide and seek.

12 & 13 year olds are not babies as a PP has asserted. They are tweens and teens and are growing up and experimenting earlier than we did in other generations.

I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble but I do think that a 13 yo girl sitting on a dock on someone else's private property was probably up to no good as opposed to playing hide and seek.

I live in and also grew up in a middle class neighborhood in the Midwest. Most of the kids I know are very good kids but they are growing up way faster than we did. When I was a kid we had the 8th grade "stoners" and the "loose" girls as I would suspect every school had. Unfortunately, this starts earlier these days. There are 12 & 13 year olds who smoke, use their parent's prescription drugs and are into sex. That is the world these days. Not every child that age does these things but some do.

Why do you think that they have DARE training in 5th & 6th grade if the temptation wasn't there? It happens.

If there was a 13 year old girl trespassing on my dock then, yes, I would think the worst. What is she doing there that she can't do at home? When I was in school there was a group who used to go down to the private beaches and drink - this was in 7th & 8th grade - 25 years ago. I wasn't one of them but these kids did exist. They would sneak onto someone else's private property to get drunk. The story of the girl on the dock made me think of these kids.

As parents we can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things don't happen.

Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids.

 

[golfgal]

I was going to drop this thread but it looks like I have to defend my statement.

No, kids that age do not play hide and seek. They may play similar games but hide and seek is a "baby" game or so I was just told when I asked my 12yo DS. The kids I know play football, soccer, Nerf tag, etc. but not hide and seek.

12 & 13 year olds are not babies as a PP has asserted. They are tweens and teens and are growing up and experimenting earlier than we did in other generations.

I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble but I do think that a 13 yo girl sitting on a dock on someone else's private property was probably up to no good as opposed to playing hide and seek.

I live in and also grew up in a middle class neighborhood in the Midwest. Most of the kids I know are very good kids but they are growing up way faster than we did. When I was a kid we had the 8th grade "stoners" and the "loose" girls as I would suspect every school had. Unfortunately, this starts earlier these days. There are 12 & 13 year olds who smoke, use their parent's prescription drugs and are into sex. That is the world these days. Not every child that age does these things but some do.

Why do you think that they have DARE training in 5th & 6th grade if the temptation wasn't there? It happens.

If there was a 13 year old girl trespassing on my dock then, yes, I would think the worst. What is she doing there that she can't do at home? When I was in school there was a group who used to go down to the private beaches and drink - this was in 7th & 8th grade - 25 years ago. I wasn't one of them but these kids did exist. They would sneak onto someone else's private property to get drunk. The story of the girl on the dock made me think of these kids.

As parents we can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things don't happen.

Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids.

Um, 8th grade is 13 years old....kids are NOT starting these things any earlier then when we were growing up. My first dance in 7th grade-12 years old--a bunch of girls were in the bathroom throwing up because they were drunk. We had a girl in 6th grade, 11 years old, that got pregnant. There were PLENTY of kids in 5th and 6th grade going quite far sexually when I was that age. They start DARE in 5th grade so the kids are aware of the consequences BEFORE it becomes a problem. Why do you talk to your kids about sex when they are 10 or 12?

It is quite possible that this 13 year old girl sitting on the dock was doing just that, sitting on the dock. I am glad I don't live where you do where all the middle school kids are hoodlums. . No one is saying they don't happen, it just isn't as common as YOU seem to think. As for hide and seek being a baby game--maybe your kid thinks that because YOU promote that? I will let the band kids at the high school know they are playing baby games next time they play hide and seek at a band party.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I am glad I don't live where you do where all the middle school kids are hoodlums. ...

Your stance in this thread contradicts just about everything that you have intimated in the malls thread...

 

[krcit]

I was going to drop this thread but it looks like I have to defend my statement.

No, kids that age do not play hide and seek. They may play similar games but hide and seek is a "baby" game or so I was just told when I asked my 12yo DS. The kids I know play football, soccer, Nerf tag, etc. but not hide and seek.

12 & 13 year olds are not babies as a PP has asserted. They are tweens and teens and are growing up and experimenting earlier than we did in other generations.

I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble but I do think that a 13 yo girl sitting on a dock on someone else's private property was probably up to no good as opposed to playing hide and seek.

I live in and also grew up in a middle class neighborhood in the Midwest. Most of the kids I know are very good kids but they are growing up way faster than we did. When I was a kid we had the 8th grade "stoners" and the "loose" girls as I would suspect every school had. Unfortunately, this starts earlier these days. There are 12 & 13 year olds who smoke, use their parent's prescription drugs and are into sex. That is the world these days. Not every child that age does these things but some do.

Why do you think that they have DARE training in 5th & 6th grade if the temptation wasn't there? It happens.

If there was a 13 year old girl trespassing on my dock then, yes, I would think the worst. What is she doing there that she can't do at home? When I was in school there was a group who used to go down to the private beaches and drink - this was in 7th & 8th grade - 25 years ago. I wasn't one of them but these kids did exist. They would sneak onto someone else's private property to get drunk. The story of the girl on the dock made me think of these kids.

As parents we can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things don't happen.

Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids.

Kids that age DO play hide and seek. I know this b/c I have a 14 year old dd and a 12 year old dd and that is what they played on summer nights with the neighborhood kids. I also know that kids that age drink, smoke and 'fool around' with the opposite sex. They did it when I was a teen and they do it now. The girls on the dock was a different thread and from what I remember it didn't seem to me like anything other than 2 girls taking a walk from a party and sitting on the OP's dock without permission.

 

[golfgal]

Your stance in this thread contradicts just about everything that you have intimated in the malls thread...

No it doesn't . She has every RIGHT to not allow kids in her yard, my point was I was glad I live in a neighborhood where the kids are free to play--BIG difference as the kids are WELL BEHAVED. I have no problem what so ever kicking a kid out of my yard for misbehaving or not following our rules, same thing at the mall.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I don't understand why the statements on this thread are so extreme. Maybe it's because I missed the other thread, but this seems over the top to me. Either kids can play hide and seek in everyone's yard or they can't play it at all, either you let anyone and everyone play in your yard or you're a hermit who ought to live alone out in the country. Really?! Responses like this seem to be a major overreaction.

I live in a neighborhood and I get along well with my neighbors. We also respect each other's personal property. Frankly I think that makes us all get along better than we would otherwise. As another poster mentioned, good fences make good neighbors. Where there are no fences, we still have a good idea of where our property begins and ends and we respect those boundaries. All the neighborhood kids have been taught that they don't go into someone else's yard unless they've been invited. We don't cut across each other's lawns, we don't wander into each other's homes, we don't borrow things from each other's garages without permission. And yet somehow we still get along and watch out for each other. Our kids play together. . . even in our yards, if they are invited to.

It's fine if you want to have more of an "open door policy" when it comes to your own property, but it's ridiculous to act as though someone will be a pariah if they choose to enforce more rigid boundaries for their own property.

That is what I don't understand what is the problem with someone not wanting other people's children on their property?

 

[luvsJack]

I was going to drop this thread but it looks like I have to defend my statement.

No, kids that age do not play hide and seek. They may play similar games but hide and seek is a "baby" game or so I was just told when I asked my 12yo DS. The kids I know play football, soccer, Nerf tag, etc. but not hide and seek.

12 & 13 year olds are not babies as a PP has asserted. They are tweens and teens and are growing up and experimenting earlier than we did in other generations.

I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble but I do think that a 13 yo girl sitting on a dock on someone else's private property was probably up to no good as opposed to playing hide and seek.

I live in and also grew up in a middle class neighborhood in the Midwest. Most of the kids I know are very good kids but they are growing up way faster than we did. When I was a kid we had the 8th grade "stoners" and the "loose" girls as I would suspect every school had. Unfortunately, this starts earlier these days. There are 12 & 13 year olds who smoke, use their parent's prescription drugs and are into sex. That is the world these days. Not every child that age does these things but some do.

Why do you think that they have DARE training in 5th & 6th grade if the temptation wasn't there? It happens.

If there was a 13 year old girl trespassing on my dock then, yes, I would think the worst. What is she doing there that she can't do at home? When I was in school there was a group who used to go down to the private beaches and drink - this was in 7th & 8th grade - 25 years ago. I wasn't one of them but these kids did exist. They would sneak onto someone else's private property to get drunk. The story of the girl on the dock made me think of these kids.

As parents we can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things don't happen.

Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids.

No 12 and 13 year olds are not babies but they are not all a bunch of hoodlums that we need to be looking out for.

SOME are getting into trouble so you think one should just assume that they are all up to no good?? Really? Do you think that of your own kids or just all others? Do you really think that is fair?

There is a HUGE difference in burying ones head in the sand and in assuming that any kid is up to no good.

The OP saw the kids running through her yard chasing each other. This would be called playing chase. Now, it might not have been the traditional chase where one is "it" and the one that gets caught becomes "it"; but it seems that it was in fact a reasonable facsimile of the game of chase. I think that it would be a huge leap to assume that one kids is chasing the other so they must be smoking, drinking or otherwise up to no good.

It is also a mile wide leap to assume that because a kid is sitting on a dock that she must be drinking or smoking or whatever. She was sitting.

I just fail to see the reasoning in always assuming the worst of someone.

 

[Magic Mom]

Kids that age DO play hide and seek. I know this b/c I have a 14 year old dd and a 12 year old dd and that is what they played on summer nights with the neighborhood kids. I also know that kids that age drink, smoke and 'fool around' with the opposite sex. They did it when I was a teen and they do it now. The girls on the dock was a different thread and from what I remember it didn't seem to me like anything other than 2 girls taking a walk from a party and sitting on the OP's dock without permission.

I know kids that age that play hide and seek too. They aren't babyish, just normal kids having fun outside.

 

[MaumeeMom]

Um, 8th grade is 13 years old....kids are NOT starting these things any earlier then when we were growing up. My first dance in 7th grade-12 years old--a bunch of girls were in the bathroom throwing up because they were drunk. We had a girl in 6th grade, 11 years old, that got pregnant. There were PLENTY of kids in 5th and 6th grade going quite far sexually when I was that age. They start DARE in 5th grade so the kids are aware of the consequences BEFORE it becomes a problem. Why do you talk to your kids about sex when they are 10 or 12?

It is quite possible that this 13 year old girl sitting on the dock was doing just that, sitting on the dock. I am glad I don't live where you do where all the middle school kids are hoodlums. . No one is saying they don't happen, it just isn't as common as YOU seem to think. As for hide and seek being a baby game--maybe your kid thinks that because YOU promote that? I will let the band kids at the high school know they are playing baby games next time they play hide and seek at a band party.

"I am glad I don't live where you do where all the middle school kids are hoodlums. ." Where the heck did I say this? Please find it and let me know. I don't think that I have ever typed the word hoodlum in my life. I stated that I live in a middle class midwestern town. My words were, "Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids." I've quoted the whole post below, please point out where I called middle schoolers hoodlums.

No 12 and 13 year olds are not babies but they are not all a bunch of hoodlums that we need to be looking out for.

SOME are getting into trouble so you think one should just assume that they are all up to no good?? Really? Do you think that of your own kids or just all others? Do you really think that is fair?

There is a HUGE difference in burying ones head in the sand and in assuming that any kid is up to no good.

The OP saw the kids running through her yard chasing each other. This would be called playing chase. Now, it might not have been the traditional chase where one is "it" and the one that gets caught becomes "it"; but it seems that it was in fact a reasonable facsimile of the game of chase. I think that it would be a huge leap to assume that one kids is chasing the other so they must be smoking, drinking or otherwise up to no good.

It is also a mile wide leap to assume that because a kid is sitting on a dock that she must be drinking or smoking or whatever. She was sitting.

I just fail to see the reasoning in always assuming the worst of someone.

Again, please - someone - find where I used the word hoodlum!! What the heck! I never said this!!

I will quote myself: "I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble" and "Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids."

I don't see the word hoodlum in there - did either of you even read my posts? The last one is quoted in its entirety below, please point out where I said these things.

From LuvsJack: "Do you think that of your own kids or just all others?" and "I just fail to see the reasoning in always assuming the worst of someone."

No, I never said I think this about my kid - I did however bring this up in relation to a girl trespassing on private property. That raises a red flag to me. I don't think the worst of people in general but this kid was trespassing.

I was going to drop this thread but it looks like I have to defend my statement.

No, kids that age do not play hide and seek. They may play similar games but hide and seek is a "baby" game or so I was just told when I asked my 12yo DS. The kids I know play football, soccer, Nerf tag, etc. but not hide and seek.

12 & 13 year olds are not babies as a PP has asserted. They are tweens and teens and are growing up and experimenting earlier than we did in other generations.

I did not say that all 12 & 13 yo kids are bad and are smoking and getting into trouble but I do think that a 13 yo girl sitting on a dock on someone else's private property was probably up to no good as opposed to playing hide and seek.

I live in and also grew up in a middle class neighborhood in the Midwest. Most of the kids I know are very good kids but they are growing up way faster than we did. When I was a kid we had the 8th grade "stoners" and the "loose" girls as I would suspect every school had. Unfortunately, this starts earlier these days. There are 12 & 13 year olds who smoke, use their parent's prescription drugs and are into sex. That is the world these days. Not every child that age does these things but some do.

Why do you think that they have DARE training in 5th & 6th grade if the temptation wasn't there? It happens.

If there was a 13 year old girl trespassing on my dock then, yes, I would think the worst. What is she doing there that she can't do at home? When I was in school there was a group who used to go down to the private beaches and drink - this was in 7th & 8th grade - 25 years ago. I wasn't one of them but these kids did exist. They would sneak onto someone else's private property to get drunk. The story of the girl on the dock made me think of these kids.

As parents we can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend that these things don't happen.

Again, most kids in the tweens and early teens are basically good kids.

 

[Bluestars]

I know kids that age that play hide and seek too. They aren't babyish, just normal kids having fun outside.

My ds(14) and two of his friends played it just a couple of weeks ago. I guess they are babies. Who knew?