Mom's with babies...How do you shower?

[tiggger1]

I belong to parenting message board and I got flamed last week because I mentioned that I would be back in a bit after I took a shower. One of the mother's asked me how I could take a shower with a 3 1/2 year old and a newborn.. I told her that the baby was sleeping and my dd was watching a movie and my shower only lasts 10 minutes tops...( I take baths at night but wash my hair in the shower, so they are quickies)so I felt ok to jump in the shower..

Over the next 2 days, I proceeded to get majorly flamed from 2-3 women there who said that I was a bad mom because I leave my kids alone while I showered..

Am I the only mom in the world that thinks that it is ok to leave your kids alone for 10 minutes as long as they are safe? I lock my doors ( we have slide bolts that emma cant reach) the baby is either sleeping in his bouncy seat or in his bed and my dd is usually watching tv. I leave the bathroom door open and if emma decides to leave her room, its to come in and brush her teeth because she likes to talk to me in the shower!

the other thing that gets me is that they really werent concerned about emma getting into something, it was that the baby was left alone? how do they get anything done if you are not allowed to leave your baby alone in a room. One mom said she moves her sleeping baby ( in his bassinet)from room to room while she cleans because he could get hurt and she wouldnt be able to hear him if he stopped breathing or something..( he is only 2 months old!) the other mom carries her 5 month old in a sling all day so she can make sure he is safe!

So my question is it ok to leave you kids alone for a few minutes to take shower, go outside to get the mail or go into the basement to wash clothes? (you should have heard the flaming I got for that one!, I was told I should wait until hubby came home to wash clothes or until the weekend because I was too far away! if I did that I would be washing clothes all weekend!)

BTW when I do go get the mail or to do laundry I take the baby moniter with me!

 

[JennyMominRI]

I had 3 kids in less than 5 years ..I don't think I showered from 1991 to 1999

 

[ilovejack02]

OH MY GOD i would have been a dirty dirty girl if I waited to shower till someone else was home. Sometimes i plopped him in the bouncy seat and put it on the floor on the bathroom if he was awake, but usually did it while he napping.
Dont worry about those other mommies... some folks just like to make others feel bad about themselves because they have their own issues.
Sounds like you hit that kinda message board, ive been on a cpl of those parenting boards and boy some of those witches can be MEAN>

 

[hydster]

It's been awhile since I've had a newborn but I left them in their crib sleeping or in the bouncy seat every day while I showered. You are NOT a bad mom!

WTH is going to happen to your baby who is sleeping in the 5-10 min that you are showering? And to not throw in a load of laundry or go get your mail...those women are smokin something.

Don't let them make you feel bad! You're a great mom that obviously loves her kids!

Those women need a reality check! If they are too frightened to leave their sleeping child in the bassinet while they clean because the baby "MIGHT" stop breathing or get hurt really need to get a grip!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

It depends on the kids personality. DD I could totally leave watching a movie for a few minutes at 3.5 while I showered. DS I can't leave anywhere, it would be big trouble. If the baby was awake and I wanted to shower I would just bring the bouncy seat or exersaucer thing into the bathroom and strap them in.

 

[islandbeachnut]

When I had my 1st child, I would keep him in his baby seat next to the shower & I kept peeking out at him. By the time my next two arrived I had the older one keep an eye on the little one(s) or shower when they were sleeping or just wait until daddy was home!

For some strange reason, there will always be a select few people who have a "holier than thou" attitude and try to make you feel like you're not as great as they are and that you never will be . I ignore 'em.

 

[JennyMominRI]

When I had my 1st child, I would keep him in his baby seat next to the shower & I kept peeking out at him. By the time my next two arrived I had the older one keep an eye on the little one(s) or shower when they were sleeping or just wait until daddy was home!

For some strange reason, there will always be a select few people who have a "holier than thou" attitude and try to make you feel like you're not as great as they are and that you never will be . I ignore 'em.

Unfortunately there are way to many of them..Most of us are just doing the best job we can.. None of us will ever gett 100% approval from other parents

 

[dcgrumpy]

I do the same as you. When the youngest is napping I put on a movie for the older two to watch.

I don't see what the problem is with leaving the baby alone in a room.

They sound just a wee bit overprotective.

 

[Beth76]

Well I don't even have a baby monitor so I guess I'm worse off than you. Yes, I will leave my baby alone for a few minutes while I shower. I don't have a baby anymore, but my 2.5yo stays in my room with the door shut watching tv while I shower. When he was a baby I would either shower while he slept, or yes, I would leave him in a safe place (bouncy seat, swing) in my room, while I showered.

Those other women on your board must really smell bad.

 

[MEBs_Tinkerbell]

I am almost in the same boat as you. My DS#1 is 3 1/2 and DS# is almost 4 months old. Sometimes the only time there is to take a shower is when the 3 1/2 year old is watching TV and the baby is sleeping. I lock the doors and leave the shower open. It's a quick shower. I work part time in the evenings so my free time can be very limited. DS #1 is normally very good about watching TV while I shower...if he gets tired of TV he will go to the playroom to play. Every so often if the TV show ends while I am in the shower he will come in the bathroom yelling it's over...or somthing like that. If they will play alone or watch TV for 10 to 15 min without getting in trouble....I don't think it is an issue for that short period of time to leave them alone. I also have my doors locked.

 

[FayeW]

When my kids were little, I learned to shower very, very quickly. I believe I can now shower and wash my hair in about 6 mins.

 

[Horseshoes]

Why dont you ask those mothers who is watching their baby in the middle of the night while they are sleeping.

I mean if they are afraid the baby could get hurt while taking a 10 minute shower, what happens during the night, do they wake up every 10 minutes to check.

 

[N&B'smom]

Did you say one mom moves her sleeping child from room to room? What the heck???

I did the same thing other people have said, when very little and awake they would be in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with me while I showered. Now I have a 7 year old and a 3.5 year old. My oldest is in school but my youngest is home and *gasp* sometimes I actually need to shower. She is perfectly fine playing in her room or watching a movie while I shower.

You're not a bad mom. Just ignore those other people!

Shelby

 

[VirtuallyMe]

Sounds like you have a few helicopter and then some moms on that message board... I can't believe they have their child with them 24/7. I love my kids but I'd go crazy... My newborns all had their own rooms- well- oldest didn't at first because we only had the one room and youngest didn't because we didn't want him waking his sister whose room he was sharing. And for the youngest two we also didn't have baby monitors... lol

As long as they are secure where they are- and pets or what ever aren't going to knock them off or over- then a new born should be fine in a crib, bouncy seat, car seat, bassinette which ever

I'd be more concerned for the three year old lol- mine would get into so much so quickly- shoot my 9 yo has to be checked for mayhem on a regular basis - this past summer when she was still 8 her 18 yo brother was "watching her" I came home to find out she ate a pint of ice cream, dug out some off limit craft supplies, and the topper was that she went "ice skating" in my kitchen with the help of socks, a pair of school shorts and BABY OIL- I came home to a shiny kitchen

Really you are not a bad mom- not at all- your kids aren't abandoned while you take a 10 minute shower- and chances are because you will leave them in safe situations in other rooms than where you are- they will be more secure later on in life

 

[va32h]

I have three children, and I have taken a shower every day of my life. When they were babies, all my kids found the white noise of a shower very soothing. If they were awake, I'd just bring the bouncy seat or carrier into the bathroom and they would usually doze off.

When they were toddlers, I would put them in the pack & play just outside the bathroom door, and talk to them or play peekaboo with the shower curtain.

My youngest is three, and she will sit on my bed and watch TV while I shower, or sit on the toilet and talk to me the entire time, depending on her mood.

All three are alive and well! Why don't you ask those non-showering women how they can bear to leave their child unattended all night long while they are asleep. A really devoted mom would stand over the crib all night long, just in case something happened.

 

[snowy76]

You go girl!

You have to leave your baby alone at times. Sometimes I leave DS playing in the pack and play in the LR and go to the other side of the kitchen. It's a full 20 feet away. Babies need their mommies but they also need to learn some independence - we won't be able to be their entertainment forever.

 

[ilovejack02]

Why dont you ask those mothers who is watching their baby in the middle of the night while they are sleeping.

I mean if they are afraid the baby could get hurt while taking a 10 minute shower, what happens during the night, do they wake up every 10 minutes to check.

They are co sleeping so its not an issue lol.
( ps im not saying its a good or bad thing to cosleep so no debates folks )

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

I think it's time to find a new parenting message board (where normal mommies live!)

 

[almburr]

Good Grief! I take a shower everyday, most of the time DS2 is up and running around, I'll put a movie on ad Big sis or Big bro will watch with him. I make sure the gate is shut. Sometimes i'll be in the shower. Door will open in walks naked DD5 and DS2 they hop right in.

Even when they were younger i would put them in thier crib and go take a shower. Oldest is now 12 and she will keep an eye out for any one running amock.

I never understood how someone could not take a shower. You open the door turn on the water, get in, wash, rinse, get out, dress, Go about your day.

There is nothing wrong with taking a shower,kids will survive.

I love my kids, but i dont have to hang over them.

 

[Becky2005]

Gosh, I must be a really, really, really horrible mom then because my kids all slept in cribs in their own rooms when they were babies.

Umm...that's what several HOURS at a time alone in their cribs while I was asleep too. Anything that could happen to them while they were napping while I took a shower, could happen at night too.

My now 3.5 year old definitely has been known to watch movies while I shower (he's watching CARS right now as I'm on the internet -- also looking at my Wilton cake books too! ).

It does depend on the child but I've done it before with the showers. It takes me 10 minutes or so to shower, I've gone out and checked the mail, etc... ALL while little ones are napping and bigger ones are up. Now my 2nd child because he was beyond curious & would be trying to do all sorts of things --I always waited until he was sleeping or the older one was there to watch him!!!, I wouldn't have trusted him to be alone while I showered but definitely my other 3.

I have learned after 4 kids (and before that), just do what you think is appropriate for your family & ignore everyone else for these type of things. I know there are still things I do to this day that some people would be up in arms about because they don't think it's right but I don't care. It's all little things that really don't make any difference (i.e. junk food; bedtimes; tv shows; when they do homework; and the list goes on & on & on).