Moms Please Help

[*Fantasia*]

1) At nine-years-old, let him go alone.
2) At Disney, it won't be a problem.
3) Nothing worse than going into the Ladies Room with an aunt or mom.
4) LITTLE BOYS HAVE EGOS AND PRIDE, TOO.

My son is 9. I let him go alone.. but I stand right outside the men's bathroom.

 

[GoofyGolferGirl]

My daughter would probably laugh at him and ask why he is in the Ladies restroom. She would think he had walked into the wrong restroom. Good or bad I would bet my bottom dollar she would. I almost walked into a mens restroom once and she stills laughs about it. Nine year olds are beginning to change and "notice" things, esp. girls. I would ask his parents, or fine a family restroom. I don't think he would want you in family restroom, are they just a single room?

 

[Piglet'sPal]

Okay, I am a little confused...why exactly is this such a big deal? There are doors on the stalls for heaven's sakes!!! It's not like the 9 year old boy is going to be able to see anything. I have a son and you can bet your bottom dollar that if I was uncomfortable in the least little bit with him going to the men's room by himself, I would take him in the women's room with me and not think twice about it. He is only 3 right now, so of course he goes with me, but I can defintiely see us crossing this bridge eventually.

For all of the mom's with daughters who would freak out over this, the mom can (and should!!) explain that safety comes first. As for the posters who think that nothing bad can happen at Disney, I think that is being a little naive. Unfortunately, bad things happen everywhere. Just because you don't hear about it, doesn't mean that it can't and doesn't happen. I know as a mom, I'm not willing to take any chances!

As for the OP, you need to do what you and your nephew feel comfortable doing. When it comes to the safety of kids, I don't worry too much about what other people might think.

 

[bgirldeb]

To those that think this wouldn't happen because it's Disney,
predators usually go where they can find prey. I would be MORE worried because it is Disney.

I have a 6 year-old DS who is big for his age. In any public restroom he either goes with his father, or with me in the ladies room

When he gets to the age where HE is embarassed about it, and he's with me only, I would use the family restroom.

 

[Rella]

My question is when is it ok to go in alone? 10, 11, 15, 16, ? If your sons shaving and in the ladies room you have some issues. and its more than safety.

 

[mamacatnv]

Until you can gurantee that my son will not be harmed or worse. Then thanks but not thanks he goes in with me when DH isnt around. I really doubt Disney would say "sure it's 100% safe let them go in without another adult. If you really belive that nothing will ever happen there, I got a bridge to sell ya!

There is nowhere on earth that is 100% safe. There comes a point where we have to teach our children caution, to listen to their instincts and to use common sense. If they are not given the opportunity then how are they going to learn?

I am not saying abandon them, I am saying stand outside the door as a monitor and let them start to develop some independence. Personally I think the bathrooms at some schools are a far more dangerous place than a bathroom at Disney could ever be.

Just my 2cents.......

 

[Piglet'sPal]

I think that the poster who posted that his son won't be old enough to go by himself until he was old enough to shave was being a little sarcastic As for your question regarding what age is old enough, I think that it depends on the child and the parent. It's going to be different ages for different parents/kids. With all of the bad things that are happening to kids these days, I think that it is better to be safe than sorry.

 

[aztecgoods]

No offense but I think your being a little too cautious, its Disney not a Marilyn Manson concert. Just wait outside for him to come out at the restroom door. If he's not out in 5 minutes just go in and find out whats up. The guys won't care if you tell them what your doing. Guys dont mind about stuff like that like girls do. (Most are fine with women walking into their restroom)

 

[dreaming3]

Safety first! Sure, DS9 is embarassed to go in the ladies room with me, but I know he's safe. There are somethings you can take chances with - its part of growing up - but being alone and vulnerable in an unfamiliar men's room is not one of them.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I have no problem with a 9 y/o boy in the women’s restroom. However, I feel that the boy himself would be very uncomfortable. I do take my ds5 in with me still if dh isn’t around to take to the men’s room.

Just don’t get angry with me if he sees something he shouldn’t. At a local amusement park about a month ago, my dd2 had been playing in the water play area and we went to the restroom to change her from her swimming suit back to her clothes. I had her on the changing table, naked, about to be dried and dressed. A mom with a boy 7 or 8 walked in and she grabbed her son’s eyes and whipped him back toward the door – all the while giving me a nasty look.

About a month earlier than that, I had taken my ds5 into that very same restroom to use the restroom. There was a lady there with two young girls – about my son’s age or a bit older – dressing from their swimsuits. My son didn’t give them a second look but that mom stuffed herself and both of those girls into a single stall (not a disabled stall). Obviously, she was quite uncomfortable with my son being in there. I sent him into the first stall and then straight back out – didn’t even stop at the sink first (I did have hand sanitizer he used outside).

 

[Minnie's Mate]

If Disney is so dangerous show me some facts. Show me the incidents of child endangerment or molestation or the incidents of child abduction. You can't. I live in a very safe area and even here there have been a few of these happen. I have never read of an abduction at Disney. And there is no way they could hide that. I had no fear of my son using the bathroom himself at Disney. I also have lived and worked in some very dangerous East coast cities that a grown man would be afraid to be alone in a bathroom so I am not naive aboout the dangers out there.

I am not worried about a nine yr old looking at me I am concerned about the feelings of the 9-15 yr old girls in the room.. You must not have had any girls or you would not be so quick to discount their feelings at this age.

You never hear of anyone dying at the Magic Kingdom. There have been several heart attack victims that have conveniently passed on in the parking lot, but they have never had anyone die in the "Happiest Place on Earth" ...come on, wake up and smell the coffee. Just because you haven't heard of it doesn't mean those people didn't actually die in the park and were pronounced dead after the Disney controled Reedy Creek Paramedics transported them out to the parking lot.

 

[raidermatt]

There is no right or wrong answer on this one. You have to do what you feel comfortable doing. If its just a woman/boy or man/girl its not as simple as saying wait outside, unless the grown-up is never going to use the restroom themselves.

Just don’t get angry with me if he sees something he shouldn’t.

Very true. One would hope that if somebody brings a child into the opposite sex's restroom, they need to be prepared for an "exposure issue". Though in a women's restroom it should be limited to a baby being changed. Since men's restrooms have "stand-up facilities", and men can be a tad less tactful, the risk is a little greater there.

 

[raidermatt]

Sorry, just one suggestion. If you do decide to let him go by himself, be VERY explicit about where to go when he's done. Discuss this before each bathroom break.

 

[Minnie's Mate]

Probably your best bet would be to look on the park map first thing each visit and identify the locations of the family/companion restrooms. Each time you pass one, tell your nephew to go to the rest room. Tell him to try whether he thinks he has to or not. Wait outside and let him go in by himself. Have him wait outside the regular ladies restroom while the rest of you go. This will save a lot of embarassment for all.

Whenever it has been more than an hour and we pass a men's room, I take our two boys to the rest room whether they need to go or not. I tell them to try anyway. Surprise, they have never failed to go. This prevents them from having to ask to go 30 minutes into a 40 minute que wait or 5 minutes before the next showing of Mickey's Philharmonic.

I just think it is best to err on the safe side and give him the independence to go into the companion rest room by himself, but not to send him into the men's room unaccompanied. To me, that is just asking for trouble.

You want this to be one of his happiest memories of his youth, not a source of years of therapy when he grows up.

 

[MINNIE OF TWO MICE]

I have a dd10 and ds9. I asked both of them this question yesterday. DD10 says she would prefer her brother to go with us. She is up on her "current events" and knows what could happen. My ds9 is not embarassed in the least. He is actually very clingy to me and dh when we are in unfamiliar places. Keep in my though if dh is around....he goes with him. I guess it a situation where everyone has their own opinion. But even if my son was embarassed, it is my duty as a mom to protect him at all times. At 9 so much could happen, and their little minds tell them to be guilty not the pervert. It just a risk I am not willing to take yet.

 

[DisDarling]

I would let him go alone and just wait by the door so you can hear what is going on in there, sounds bad, but at least you have some idea if he is ok or not.

 

[momto3girls]

I as a grown woman and mother would have no problem seeing a nine year old boy in the women's restroom, BUT my nine year old DD would have fit if she saw a boy in there. She would not use the restroom and we would have to bring her back later. She's at the age where she is starting to notice boys a little and would be horrified to have a boy in there. I'm sure the boy would be a little embarrassed too.

My exact thoughts. It's not like you'll be at the mall or a restaurant where there is less chance that other kids will be in the restroom. This is Disney and kids are everywhere. MY girls, ages 9, 7, and 7, also would be horrified. They don't like it when they see little boys in the bathroom, but a big boy would upset them!

I agree on checking with what the mom would do and do the same. Family bathrooms are a great option and allow for his safety and everyone else's privacy at the same time!

Amy