Moms of deployed soldiers.....

[Disney1fan2002]

My sister was just told by her 21 year old son, his Guard Unit is being deployed Iraq.

She is beyond upset. She broke down and cried while she was talking to me. She does not think she can handle it. This is her worst fear since he joined the National Guards.

He leaves August 8th. I told her that is 3 months awya, and not to spend three months worrying, when he is still here.

Any ideas to get her to calm down? The fact that my nephew's girlfriend's brother is already over there, and my own BIL is over there, and they have stayed safe, she is certain that the fact he is being deployed is God telling her that something fatal will happen to her son.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Hi, I'm not the mother of a soldier but I am a wife of one. My dhs mother didn't take it well when he joined the army (so I'm told), didn't take it well when he got orders and left for Iraq(he was in Baghdad when the war started) and isn't taking it well that he is going back again.

First tell her that she has to get it together FOR HIM. He can't be over there and constantly worried about his mother losing it over him and not being able to function. She is going to have to have confidence in her son that he can do his job and will come back home to her. Hundreds of thousands of soliders have left and came back home to their families.

Is your nephew married or have children? She can focus on them and help them through the hard time but if not she needs something to focus on while he is gone. Is the NG unit local? Get her involved with other families in your nephews unit. Those families will be going through the same worries and fears that she is facing and they can talk about them together. Get her focused on something to keep her mind busy. Have her make plans like a family vacation when he comes back and keep her busy making goody boxes for her son and his fellow soldiers. Nothing says loving like something from home.

If you need more suggestions or just need to talk about this please feel free to PM me. I'll keep your family in my prayers and thank your nephew for his service.

 

[powellrj]

the most important advise I can give her is DON"T WATCH THE NEWS!!! It will make you crazy if you do. Is he married? If not, now is the time to get his money issues in order. She needs to be added to his checking, debit and credit card accounts. If not, when he starts spending money in Iraq, the bank will call and question the unusal activity and as long as her name is on the accounts, he will be ok, (if not we know first hand what a pain this is). Make good friends with your local post office. I got to know Julie from our post office very, very well!!! Order some priority mail supplies from the website of the post office so you are ready to start mailing when he leaves. Find out what magazines he likes and order subscriptions on line (google cheap magazines for some great prices) It is easier to mail these things to them than to try and have them delievered. Set up instant message and email accounts. Not all areas have access to IM or email, but if he does, you will be ready.

Tell her all of Iraq is not the same. Some areas are pretty safe while others are really bad. Have her focus on the fact that there are over 150,000 people there and very, very few get killed. My DS was in one of the worst areas to be in, and there were more people from his high school class killed in car accidents than were killed in his unit in Iraq. I know that sounds strange, but that thought got me through a lot of long nights.

Let her know that others are thinking about her, and it does get easier. My DS was over there almost a year, and it did get easier the longer he was there.

 

[jsmith]

im with powell-try and help her see the reality of the situation. My husband is a soldier-spent all of 2004 in Iraq-and two of my best friends are there now on a second tour. Yes its dangerous and yes people die-but since we went into iraq in march of 2003 1600 have died-50, 000 americans died in car accidents last year-would she refuse to let him drive? The army provides training and equipment to keep the soldiers safe. How much danger he will be in will depend on what job he has-so areas and jobs are dangerous and some are not. She cant spend the entire time worrying. And he wont go to Iraq in August-he will report for active duty-they training takes from 1 to 6 months before they leave to go overseas and the situation can change dramatically between now and then. Additionally, until they get on the plane and leave the US its not a guaruntee that they will go. Some Guard units have gone to mobilization station and never deployed. Bottom line-she needs to focus on the now-on helping him get ready, and on supporting him-not on the what could happen. And she needs to stop watching the news-which reports only the negative things not the positive and which manipulates our point of view-after all if they reported about cars like they do about the war no one would ever go out of thier house

 

[weregoingtodw]

First off, huge hugs to all of you. Military life can be incredibly stressful at times. The other gals have given some great advice. My #1 would also be to not watch the news. It's difficult, I know, but I've just stopped. It doesn't help, and all it does is keep you on edge.

Here is a link to a message board specifically for Parents of Children in the Military - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psmilkids. I hope that she'll find it helpful.

Hang in there!