Mommy guilt. It never ends.

[SmallWorld71]

I absolutely hear what you're saying, and I do agree that our time is limited with having all 6 of us go as a family. What makes this decision a bit harder, however, is that the last time we went to Disney, and our last trip to Universal just a couple months ago, she spent more time in the hotel room than she did going to parks or out to eat with us. It makes us a bit resentful, especially when that bump in price from 5 people to 6 is rather significant. I love her dearly, of course, but she isn't the most tolerant person in the world, and I have to take that in consideration when vacation planning.
I'm really leaning toward going in September without her.

If this had been our experience, I'd be all about leaving DS19 home, too.

And, I hear you about the costs. Going from 4 to 5 meant adding a whole new room so it was a significant increase.

 

[Raenstoirm]

I would go in September if she is going "away" to college. If she will be living at home that is a bit different. Her life will be totally different and so will yours the day she leaves. Honestly, I would have been jealous as hell, BUT I would not have wanted to give up my school vacations for family bonding at that age either. Either I wanted to spend time with my high school friends that I hadnt seen, or I wanted to stay at school and spend time with my college friends during breaks. It would suck if you move your trip around and then she decides she doesn't want to go because her friends are up to something during the break.

 

[buzznina]

Since you stated that you just want to go in the fall then the only thing you will be losing is FD, but based on history there will be a fall discount so not a big loss. I would first see if she would commit to October and then go then, but if not, then I would still go in September without her.

 

[dprincessmom]

This is what I'm thinking, too. Honestly, a mother-daughter trip may be a lot of fun, either right before college, or sometime midyear.

Could you go with the pin code that you have and then while there book a bounce back for the mother/daughter weekend?

 

[bcbmommy]

Could you go with the pin code that you have and then while there book a bounce back for the mother/daughter weekend?

I've heard of the bounce back offers, but have never taken the time to read about it. Are they better than usual PINs?

 

[Baklava]

If you don't go now, how old does she have to be before you get to do things she likes without her? When she graduates college? Gets married? Has kids?

I do a lot of flexing to include everyone, but there's a point at which you cannot be expected to put your life on hold while she goes off to live hers. Especially if you have younger children, everyone deserves to carry on in her absence. Maybe for you Disney is beyond that point and maybe it's not, but I think it's fair to consider how long she gets to be part of household plans when she's no longer there.

 

[dprincessmom]

I've heard of the bounce back offers, but have never taken the time to read about it. Are they better than usual PINs?

I have never received a PIN so I can't compare. It is typically a room or FD type of discount. May be worth a look. If you do this, remember you have to book the trip and make a deposit before you check out.

 

[Lisaloo]

I only feel guilty when I've done something wrong.
DH and I would go in a skinny minute.

 

[djp0630]

Personally I would move it. I don't think I would enjoy the trip as much knowing that she was missing it. But that's just me. Do what's best for you.

 

[MandiC]

I will be so happy if my college age kids still *want* to go to Disney with me!
If it were me I'd bring up that you do have a September trip planned and ask her if she even could manage to come with if you switched it to October....and then I would price out an October trip and see if you can get free dining. If there isn't a huge price difference between the two and she can make it, I would totally switch the trip for her. My parents went on many trips without me, my husband and I go on many trips without our kids...but Disney is just so much about family to me. If you can't coordinate an October trip I think a mother/daughter trip at some point would be awesome.

 

[ruthies12]

Well to throw in my two cents, I would go without her simply because I don't think it is fair to the younger siblings to have to miss out on stuff just because of the oldest's schedule. I don't think the younger kids should have to give up lower crowds and getting to ride more plus the free dining will probably mean more fun ADR's that you might not normally do. If I were in your shoes I would probably go and tell the oldest to get over it. My girls are 4 1/2 years apart so there is a good chance that I will be in your shoes one day with having one at college and one still at home, and I don't think I'd want my youngest to miss out on a trip like that.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Look at it this way: your oldest gets to go on a huge, expensive adventure ( college), while your youngest is still at home, living the same old life. She's probably always felt like big sis gets to do everything fun. So maybe going on the trip without the older sib would be her own special thing.

Honestly, when I was a college kid, I would have eschewed a Disney trip over fall break in favor of visiting my old high school pals in town.

 

[mickeyfanachey1999]

So, I've really been wanting to take a Disney trip in late September. It seems like the crowds will be better, and we have a FD pin that I'd like to use. Here's the problem, however.... My oldest will be going to college, and won't be able to go with us. I nonchalantly asked her yesterday if she'd be upset if we went to Orlando without her. Her response? "I don't care if you go to Universal, but I'd be heartbroken if you went to Disney without me." ugh.
So, here are the choices I've come up with. 1. We just go without her ~ she'll get over it. 2. We move our trip to mid-October, and she could fly out for a few days during their mini fall break. I'm not sure I could get the free dining during that time, however, but possibly the 30% off would work. 3. Or.....we just go without her, and then I take her on a trip at a later time.
What would you do?

When I went to college my mother - on the weekend following my departure - got rid of all my furniture, painted my room, got new carpet and installed display cases for all of her Disney collectibles and such. I would guess that she and my stepfather went on 30 trips while I was in college and we didn't visit WDW together until my oldest child was 5. As much as I would have liked to have been on all of those trips it just gets tough to make everyones schedules line up. I think she would get over it...especially if she got a trip at a later date.

 

[teddygurl28]

my parents went without me my first semester in college. of course I was bummed. first off, I missed Disney. second, I was miserable at school. That being said- my parents and other family members deserved to take the vacation they wanted. I was an "adult" and as such had other responsibilities. it was a nice lesson in learning that sometimes you have to be places and do things (such as work) that is going to make you miss out on vacations, beach days, concerts etc.

 

[shm_helene]

I am sure many of these things have been said already, but, first thing I thought was how lucky you are to have a daughter who still wants to vacay with you!!! Also, this may not be popular, but it's college...she can skip one day and do a fir, sat, sun with you if that would be an option....or you could just go twice

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Change your dates and take her. Life is too short. We are in the same situation and never regreted changing things around to include our college student.

 

[Ceryssa]

Since you said what you're wanting to experience is fall at Disney, and not specifically September, I'd change dates. BUT--I'd make it clear to her that you are changing to accomodate her--therefore, her behavior from the last trip should not be repeated. I would make this a very clear expectation--because the last thing you want is to change your schedule around to suit her (not to mention the additional cost!) and then for her to not participate in spending time with the family. If this isn't something she can/will agree to, then I'd keep things as you have planned. It's possible this stipulation might influence her desire to go. Either way, have fun!!

 

[Jing]

I was the younger sibling and idolized big brother. My parents did not rearrange plans to accommodate him when he went off to college, but he did go on some vacations when schedules lined up. Frankly, I think while we all had a good time, he pined for his fraternity brothers (and all that comes with that). I defiantly had a bit of a college 'tude when my turn came, though the "embarrassed to be around my parents" phase was far more a middle school thing than high school/college. For the few years I was the oldest/only, it was pretty sweet. I missed my brother, but I also got some perks with him not being there too. My parents went on several vacations without me later on, and it did not bother me a bit - I was living my own life. If I told them I would be fine with them going one place but not another because my feelings would be hurt, they would have had trouble suppressing an eye roll, particularly if I had been less than gracious the last time I traveled on their dime.

I am sure her statement was not meant to be manipulative, but as a pp said, you have nothing to feel guilty about because you would not be doing anything wrong. Taking your minor children on a vacation already determined to work best and not changing plans to accommodate your freshly launched adult child is perfectly acceptable. You have to do what feels right to you and the rest of the family though. If the siblings don't want to go unless big sis goes, that would be something to consider.