"Mom, what is sex?"!!!!!! Parents, need HELP!

[julie_yet]

[color=0066ff]My mom told me and my brother when we were really little. I was 6 and he was 3. She wanted us to hear it from her. She used to be a child birth instructor and a doula and has always talked openly about things.
I remember when she told us she was tucking us into bed. She explained what the mommy and daddy had and how the baby is made and I pulled the covers over my head. LOL But she thought the more we knew the more we could protect ourselves from people who might want to harm us.
When she told my older sister who was 4 at the time they were looking at a book with pictures of babies in the womb. After she told her she quized her to see if she had retained anything. My mom askes her "So where do babies come from?" and my sister thinks for a moment and then answers "From France."[/color]

 

[GEM]

Here's the legendary story in my family -

My mom explained it to my sister when she was about 9 years old and began asking questions. After telling her the whole story, my mom pointed out that - although it wasn't anything dirty - it was something very private and that she shouldn't go around telling all her little friends about it at school. My sister thought about it for a while and then she said, "I guess I could tell Daddy. He might know already anyway." At that point, my mom decided that my poor sister might have missed the whole point.

 

[WillyJ]

I would say that if a kid is old enough to ask about it, they are old enough to be told about it. . . just be as factual as you can while still making it understandable; if you are embarrassed and get too vague, the kid will pick-up on that, and the more taboo and mysterious it will seem to them, and the more they'll want to get details someplace else. . .

. . . no question it's a bit nerve-wracking to say the least, but much better to hear it from you then from TV or friends. . .

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Thanks everyone. I love reading your suggestions as well as the legendary stories! I think I am going to have DH read this thread and together decide how we are going to approach this topic!

 

[BrerMom]

I really like this series of four books. It's been nice to read the books that are "age appropriate." When the kids ask questions that are in the next book, I know we're ready to move on in the series. The age ranges are only estimates.

The Story Of Me (Ages 3-5)
By: Stan Jones Brenna Jones

Retail Price: $9.00
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Description: This is the first book in the God's Design For Sex series, written to be read to children ages 3-5. With candid, age-appropriate language and realistic illustrations, The Story of Me explains: God's love and the goodness of all He has made, the nurturing family as God's context for love, why God wants each baby to have both a mommy and a daddy, pregnancy as God's way to care for a baby until birth, the specialness of being made a boy or a girl, proper names for private body parts.


Before I Was Born (Ages 5-8)
By: Carolyn Nystrom

Retail Price: $9.00
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Description: Designed for parents to read to their child ages 5 - 8. This book is one of a series designed to help parents shape their children's character, particularly in the area of sexuality. Our children are exposed to many different messages about the nature of sexuality and the place of sexual intimacy in life, through the media, discussions with their friends, and school sex-education programs. God wants parents to be the primary sex educators of their children. And if we are going to have a powerful impact, we must start early to help children understand their sexuality before they learn from other sources. First messages are the most powerful; why wait until your child hears the wrong thing and then try to correct the misunderstanding? God made sexuality, and He made it as a beautiful gift; why not present it to our children and the way God intended? THIS BOOK IS VERY VERY DESCRIPTIVE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN


What's The Big Deal? (Ages 8-11)
By: Stan Jones Brenna Jones

Retail Price: $10.00
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Description: You know what sex is. You've heard other kids joking about it, and maybe you've seen actors talking about it on TV. But you probably still have some questions, and that's great. What's the Big Deal explains the basic facts about sex and such related issues as:

Why God made adults so that they want to have sex

Why God designed sex to be shared only within marriage

What God actually says about sex in the Bible

The amazing changes ahead of you during puberty

How to respond when you feel sexual pressure from peers, TV shows, movies, and magazines

Your parents will read this book with you or discuss it with you as you read it on your own. They'll answer any leftover questions you might have and help you understand what a beautiful and exciting gift from God you sexuality is meant to be.


Facing The Facts (Ages 11-14)
By: Stan Jones Brenna Jones

Retail Price: $10.00
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Description: More changes occur in your body and brain during puberty than any other time in your life. And puberty marks the beginning of big changes in your relationships with your parents and the opposite sex. It's a wonderful and exhilarating time, because you're finally becoming an adult, but it can be a stressful and overwhelming time, too. If you don't understand what's happening to you, or why, your early teenage years can be scary. Facing the Facts was written to give all the information you need to understand exactly what's happening to your body and why God planned it that way. You'll learn: Role of puberty in the development of sexuality, How girls' & boys' bodies change, How a woman gets pregnant & gives birth, Why God wants you to save sex for marriage, Love & dating, Tough answers to some tough problems.


There's also a discount for buying all four as a set.

 

[Deb & Bill]

We were driving home from work and day care one day and my son saw two dogs that were 'tied'. He said to look at those dogs. They are Siamese. (My son is 9). I looked at my husband, gulped and told our son that they were mating. I explained how the male's ***** fit inside the female's body. My son took a long time to think about it and stated "Mom, you can be so gross sometimes." And then he insisted that they were Siamese dogs joined at the butt.

 

[BrerMom]

It's good, but I didn't think it was as useful as the books for the kids. There are some topics not discussed in the books for the kids that are mentioned here as further discussion material.

How & When to Tell Your Kids About Sex
By: Stan Jones Brenna Jones
Type: Hardcover

Retail Price: $21.00
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Description: How And When To Tell Your Kids About Sex by Stanton and Brenna Jones This book will help you move beyond the "sweaty palms and lump-in-the-throat" approach to discussing sex with your kids. It will give you the tools you need for building the kind of Christian character in your kids that will enable them to stand on their own and make the right choices.

 

[Serena]

My mom didn't tell me anything at all. So I over did it with my first. I'm much better about it with my second.

 

[jamsmom]

I am very open with my son and he handled things well. I actually had "little" talks off and on every time he asked questions. I answered them, but never offered too much additional details till he was a little older.

But, now days 12 year olds know/hear much more than I did. I was quite embarrassed when he asked me how I felt about (Clinton) sex!!!!! I actually didn't appear embarrassed to him beause I want him to know he can come to me and ask anything. However, I was about to die inside.

 

[DopeysGal]

I, too, used to tell my DS little bits and pieces as the questions came up but when he was 8, he said "Mom, why don't you just get it over with and tell me what sex is" LOL So I gave him a basic textbook description and when I was finished, he starts laughing and says "That's the funniest thing I've ever heard". Like I was making it up!! He understood that kids should learn this stuff from their parents and has never repeated any of our conversations. He is now 12 and when he hears stuff at school the other boys say (and some of it is pretty good) he tells them that he is going to ask me, because I always tell him the truth. I'm glad that we have that bond and that he knows he can ask me anything and will get an honest answer.

 

[MerryPoppins]

It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris is the book we got for our DS. Some of the drawings are of naked people. Some of the sections are What is Sex? (included is a chapter called Straight and Gay), Our Bodies, Puberty, Families and Babies, Decisions, and Staying Healthy. This book is very frank and matter of fact. My son found it very helpful.

 

[swanmom]

For that age, I would highly recommend "Where Did I Come From?" It takes a light, somewhat humorous tone but with all the facts accurately presented. It has drawings (anatomically correct) instead of photos. (I'm guessing this is the book that some of you have referred to...it's very popular.) I particularly like it because it doesn't contain a particular religious bias.

 

[goofy4tink]

Thanks MerryPoppins. You took the thought right outa my head. I've been trying to figure out how to explain the whole gay/straight issue to my dd. sounds like a worthwhile read.
Of course, the other alternative is one nobody has mentioned...take the little darlings to Epcot and watch 'The Making of Me'!!!!

 

[Evil Princess]

LOL my mom gave me "It's Perfectly Normal". Very informative, and no particular religious affiliation.

I was SOOO embarassed when she gave it to me, I told her that I knew everything inside the book already. I would go off to my room and read it by myself, i actually couldn't put it down. Would never let her on to that though