MOH Question

[PoohBear8481]

Ok so here is my problem. I asked my best friend to be my MOH. We have been best friends for almost 13 years now so I figured she should have the honor. I asked her right after we got engaged and she basically had a fit. (At the time she was pregnant and due 12/25/05) She told me that she could go shopping or do any other MOH stuff because she is pregnant and I wasn't giving her enought time for her to loose the pregnancy weight. I told her it's ok and not to worry about it because the wedding isn't until April. Right after Halloween was her baby shower and the last time I had spoken to her because my cell phone broke and she was upset because I didn't attent the shower. I had every intention of attending, but since my phone didn't work I couldn't get directions, times or any of the other information so I could attend. (She also new that my phone didn't work and never call me on my home phone) I finally started talking to her after she had the baby, but now my fiance doesn't want her at the wedding for what she did and how she reacted. Should I ask my other close friend to be my MOH and just invite my best friend or not every invite her at all???? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[allisonswonderland]

Not to be contraversial...but why didn't you use your home phone to call her?

 

[sajetto]

Not to be contraversial...but why didn't you use your home phone to call her?

I was about to ask the same thing. If things are that tense, and the waters are that easily stirred I would just ask someone else and not bother with her especially since your fiance doesn't want her there. This day is supposed to be about the 2 of you and if he's not happy with who is there then basically you could be making his happy day miserable. Just my 2 cents

 

[JandJ]

Not to be contraversial...but why didn't you use your home phone to call her?

I was wondering the same thing.

The MOH/BM thing can be a struggle sometimes. I was lucky, my niece was my MOH and my best friend was there to help me with everything and was totally fine not being the "official" MOH.

Good luck!

 

[Stacerita]

Not to be contraversial...but why didn't you use your home phone to call her?

I think we are all thinking the same thing on this. If things were a little tense between you two I would have made more of an effort to make her shower.

But judging how she reacted when you asked her to be MOH Im thinking she really didn't want to be. Im the MOH for my best friend and she didn't even ask me. It was just something we both knew I would be when she got engaged. We've been best friends for 10 years so we just knew.

If she is really your best friend why dont you talk to her and ask her what the deal is. And give her an easy out if she doesn't want to be MOH. Someone can be your best friend and not be your MOH. She might be overwhelmed by the new baby and losing weight after the baby is a big thing for some new moms. Talk to her and see whats up. If she seems a little iffy and since your fiance doesn't want her anymore, I would have a back up.

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

I've been through a very similar situation and had to basically tell my MOH that we didn't want her to have that role anymore and it honestly showed me the type of person she was. Feel free to PM me anytime and I can give you more advice.

 

[Marthasor]

Sounds like a very precarious situation. I have to say, honestly, it doesn't seem that you made a very important day in her life a priority, (sorry, the cell phone thing is a lame excuse), so why or how could you expect her to make your day a priority? Boy, if her cell phone broke on your wedding day and YOU had to track down your MOH to perform her MOH duties, you'd probably be pretty peeved. As a best friend (or even just a friend, frankly), it was your responsibility to find out how to get to her shower, not hers. Sounds like if you want to repair the situation and continue to have her as your MOH, you owe her an apology. IMHO.

 

[PoohBear8481]

Thanks for all the advise, but the only problem with that is she had just gotten a new cell phone number when my phone broke. I know it's no excuse, but she was the one that never told me that exact day her baby shower was, and the time before that I had spoken to her she said she wasn't having one. She couldn't make up her mind. After the baby was born we started talking again. We talk on a daily basis, and yes I did appoligize for not attending and she totally understood. Now the problem is, she is having relationship problems with her boyfriend and doesn't want to be with him anymore, so I can I sit there and talk about me and my wedding when she feels like this. Wouldn't that be kinda shallow of me?
I just don't want to hurt her any more then her bf has. This is so frustrating

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Hi. I think that you should explain your self to your friend and ask her if you would be putting too much stress on her and let her know that you don't want it to burden her to have to be the MOH or even go. It seems that she's having enough stresses and that you as a friend need to make sure that she is willing to go through all the stress on top of the stress that she's going through with the b/f right now. Tell her you understand if she no longer wants to be the MOH and that your feelings won't get hurt and that she shouldn't feel pressured into something that she doesn't want to do.

 

[PoohBear8481]

Guess what! After all the stress I went through tring to figure out the MOH problem with my best friend, she informs me that she is going to Disneyland that same weekend so I guess she's not going to be my MOH or even at the wedding for that matter
To make matters worse I thought the reason she was doing this was because I didn't attend her baby shower so I when I appoligized to her for missing it, she told me not to worry she never had one. So now I don't know why she would plan a trip to Disneyland knowing that the wedding is the same weekend.
I guess I'll just have to take my moms advise. She tells me that the people that count the most will attend the wedding.
Sorry I had to vent.
Thanks for listening

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

All I have to say is wow and I'm sorry. I guess this just shows you who your true friends are, I know it did for me! I don't have any other advice but try not to let it ruin your day!

 

[we3disneygo]

hope your day is great!!!!

 

[Rustyflwr3]

Im very sorry to hear that she would do something like that! But, you will have a great day

Jessica

 

[faeriegrl]

One of my friends from 5th grade decided to do something similar right before my wedding. To be honest, you won't even think about it on your wedding day. Move on from it and don't let it get to you or it will eat you up.

Worry about it later if you decide you want to still be her friend after the wedding.

 

[LUV2DZNEE]

YIKES! I think your friend has done you a huge favor by being busy. Go with your other good friend as your MOH and don't look back.

 

[bettyann29]

Wow.. sorry to hear that.. My MOH emailed me a few days ago and asked me to ask someone else because her husband is too jealous for her to walk down the aisle with another man so she cant do it.. puuulease.. I wish I could believe her.. I have known her and her husband and kids for about 10 yrs and that doesnt sound like him at all.. I think the part that hurts me the most is that I feel shes not being honest with me.. I think thats the lamest excuse I have ever heard.. I think part of it is because she has been trying to overrun my decisions regarding color, where Im having the wedding, etc.. and she has made it known to me that she's not happy.. Sorry.. but its MY wedding..