Onor your feelings. Talk to your mother. I talk to mine all the time and she passed a year ago in May. Sometimes her presence is so strong that I say, 'ok, Mom, ok, I feel ya!'
Although I didnt lose my mom, I did lose my dad 4 years ago this past week, just 2 days shy of my own birthday. His birthday is in October and birthdays in our family were big. So every year on his birthday my son and I write on a balloon and send it up to Heaven. This way we can release some thoguhts that are in our heads and it just makes us feel good that we are still are remembering and still doing something. It is never easy, reach out to a friend, or family member and let someone in if you don't want to be alone. Sending hugs
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