mischief night neighbor horror- need advice

[serendipity]

Hi Everyone,

I wasn't exactly sure where I should post this but I need a little bit of advice. My fiance and I recentely moved to a neighborhood outside of NYC. The people here are far from friendly and are just plain, nasty to us, ever since we moved in. In fact on our move in day when it was just me and my fiance moving all of our couches, tables, etc they sat on their front porch with popcorn the entire time laughing at us! Great way to start up a good relationship right? This was followed by several times of me coming home and finding all of her and the rest of the neighborhoods children on my front steps! Finally I think they got the hint because after a few weeks they stopped doing that.

Anyway, quite honestly this has been the apartment from hell. There's been numerous things that have happened to us here that have made us try (unsuccesfully) to break our lease, including a mouse outbreak. Our neighbors have continously added to the stress of living here.

Last night, being mischeif night the neighborhood was absolute chaos. I've never seen anything like it. The two houses next to me, and the two houses across from me were outside with their children laughing with them telling them which houses/areas to toilet paper and shave cream (not their own). Now to me this is not normal. How I grew up that would have been ABSOLUTELY unacceptable behavior. Parents condoning this? I just don't understand it. It's one thing if you have children in your own backyard and allow them to do it to your property but I found this outrageous. My fiance was watching through a window secretely making sure no one touched our property. When a girl came to our car to toilet pape/shave cream it immediately he opened the window and yelled at her to get away from the car and clean the mess on it she had already made. This was the last straw for me and I called the police and filled them in on what had happened.

About 20 minutes later a cop car showed up and after talking to them for 5 minutes instructed them to 'keep having fun". I felt like I was in the twilight zone here. Again someone tried to do something to our car and this went on all night. It was miserable. Eventually another cop came by, I'm guessing from someone else's complaint and around midnight the chaos stopped.

Today when I came home I had to walk past my delightful next door neighbors to get into my house as I have to parallel park on the street (we live in a city). She was loudly talking about how some b*tch had called the police on her twice. I just went inside and tried to shake it off. I've already had several confrontations with this women.

I am truly clueless on how to handle this situation. This is a grown woman- she's in her late 40's and I'm in my early 20's. I just have never seen an adult act like this in my life. I grew up in the subburbs and never had anything like this happen to me. We moved to this area because we both have jobs in Manhattan and leaving is not a question until our lease ends in May in which time we're going to move to a more upscale area, even if the price of the rent is outrageous. I just don't know how to handle the situation now. Can anyone please give me some advice?

 

[hniki234]

I don't have any advice, but I wanted to say good luck with your situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of that. I'd suggest talking to your neighbor, but sometimes you just can't talk to people because they won't listen. Again, good luck!

 

[kidsister]

What a terrible situation to be in.
And now it seems that there will be more 'stuff' since she probably knows it was you who called the police.

since you have to live there until May, I think it behooves you to consider taking the high road and trying to get to the bottom of the animosity.

How about baking something (be nice now ) and when the kids are in school taking it over to her house and asking if she has time for a little neighborly chat to try to iron out the differences that you seem to have.
Try to find out what it was that seemed to get you all off on the wrong foot.
Maybe: when we moved in, we hoped to become friends with many of our neighbors. But it seemed from the get go that we did something that seemed to offend you and we can't figure out what it was. {Long Pause}. If she claims that they were nothing but friendly when you moved in...then try again to tell her how you felt. Be careful not to blame. Sometimes this works. At any rate, if you let her know that you'd lke to be a good neighbor and ask what you can do....you'll at least know that you did everything you could to remedy the sitch.

Hope it all works out!

 

[serendipity]

That's great advice. Thank you for your reply. I just don't know if I can be that rational . Maybe when I cool off in a few days..........

 

[daisax]

Somehow I don't think people who delight in watching their children vandalize other people's property are going to come around no matter how much cake you bake or crow you eat.

I'd keep my head down and a big calendar on the wall, marking off the days. Winter will come soon, which will keep everybody indoors most of the time.

 

[kathmzh]

It's a shock when you realize that grown men and women, even those with children, are so horrible, isn't it? There's probably no reasoning with them. Never resort to their level, but stay strong -- people like those feed on any sign of weakness.
Maybe sometime, you can stop into you local police dept. and talk with your neighborhood officer about your concerns if the harassment and potential property damage continues. Good luck!

 

[minniebeth]

I can't speak for the differences you have had prior to Mischief Night, but I grew up in northern NJ 10 mis. from NYC...We called it "Goosey Night" and amazingly enough, all the toilet paper, soap, shaving cream, etc. seems to be totally acceptable. The one and only night I ever went out as a young teenager for some TP fun, I was pelted by 3 raw eggs by a car driving by. (Wow, does it hurt! ) Never again did I go, but was dubbed by my friends as the "TP Queen"!
As I've moved around the country, I've since never seen this in practice anywhere else...thank goodness!!!
So as far as that situation goes, it might be best to let it go since that is what they all do believe it or not!!
On the other hand, it sounds like a tense situation all around...it doesn't sound like people who want to work things out and eat cookies together.
It is best to ignore people and live your own life, which is VERY hard to say, I know. But if they know they can let them get the best of you, it will continue.
Good luck and be strong!

 

[serendipity]

It's just such a shame to know people are like this. I appreciate all of your advice. I have to admit though that I am not the person that will be able to bring cake over to my neighbors house, and quite honestly if I did I feel it would be thrown in my face. I know that not all towns in north jersey do this as my fiance grew up in this area (hasbrouck heights) and know that it was not condoned in his town. I'll be happy to leave an area eventually that this is normal although I very much appreciate your information. For now I will continue to ignore the best that I can, not get into an arguement, and count the days down till May.

 

[averill94]

I can imagine where you live- DH was a bus driver ( 5 mins from manhattan) and I found some of his stories hard to believe! (Mothers calling their kids mfers right in front of everybody etc...)

I'd say keep to yourself but keep your head up and smiling

Get out of there asap- May will be here before you know it.

Those "nicer" areas are so darn expensive- I would probably move 30-45 minutes away and commute.

Good luck!

 

[TinaLala]

Your story upsets me! A good neighbor is a hard thing to come by, but to be so cruel she must be living a very hard life. Unfortunately I think another poster is correct no matter what you bake it won't be a pleasant situation no matter what you do. It definitely sounds like you need to look the other way when it comes to this woman. Don't get caught into her trap. If someone else called the police then it's obvious that this woman is a menace to the entire neighborhood and you need to bond with the other people who feel like you do. That will keep you strong over her.
\

Good luck!!

 

[Robmom]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I live in Brooklyn and we don't really have mischief night. The teenagers will put shaving cream on eachother and throw some eggs, but that's about it. I would never tolerate my DD vandalizing anyone's property. As someone said, the cold weather is coming, so you won't really see eachother as much. Maybe the person who lived there before you was a friend and she's upset they left and now is taking it out on you. It's so childish. Hang in there!

 

[Makua]

Try "killing her with kindness" just smile and wave whenever you encounter her. Before long she'll be wondering what your problem is! I've been in similar situations before and it isn't easy, home is supposed to be where you can relax. I've moved about 24 times, DH is Navy, and have had "bad" neighbors more often than good. Sad isn't it? Try not to let it get you down and be glad you're renting and didn't buy the house!

 

[serendipity]

Again I appreciate all of your kind words and it makes me feel better just knowing that I'm not crazy and people agree with me on this matter. I don't think any amount of kindness will win any situations over with this woman however it will not hurt and it won't contribute to the ongoing feud we've been having. Stressful, yes, but....like makua posted, thank goodness we haven't bought this house. Living in this area is temporary for us, only another three years before we do actually buy a house either in PA or NC. So for now I'm just going to try to be at peace with the situation. Besides, I have all the pixie dust I need....I leave for Disney in 8 days!!!

 

[minniebeth]

Again I appreciate all of your kind words and it makes me feel better just knowing that I'm not crazy and people agree with me on this matter. I don't think any amount of kindness will win any situations over with this woman however it will not hurt and it won't contribute to the ongoing feud we've been having. Stressful, yes, but....like makua posted, thank goodness we haven't bought this house. Living in this area is temporary for us, only another three years before we do actually buy a house either in PA or NC. So for now I'm just going to try to be at peace with the situation. Besides, I have all the pixie dust I need....I leave for Disney in 8 days!!!

You'll forget all about your neighbors when you are at The Happiest Place on Earth!!

 

[java]

Well at least it will start to get cold... less time outside. They sound like neighbors from hell- and they are out there. Let this be a lesson learned- before you BUY one make sure you check out the neighbors! Thankfully this is only a rental. Now there must be some way to get out of the lease. Even if you lose your security deposit it would be worth it to get away from hell. Maybe it is time to get a big dog.
But a footnote- I don't think I would expect complete strangers to come help me move in. (now it would be nice if they offered but I wouldn't let that turn me off someone) the popcorn and laughing sound more like a mind game on her part. Like she is trying to make you uncomfortable- Is there a social divide? age, $ or religion or race....Sometimes there are people that have issues that you can do nothing to change. Just enjoy your trip and focus on getting out asap.
We don't have mischief night out here (western NJ) but we used to have it in NY- nothing major just annoying- tp and shaving cream. But I am glad it is not something they do out here.
Good luck and have a great time in Disney!

 

[robinb]

I'm in the minority ... again! I think you really blew a bit of TP and shaving cream out of proportion and into World War III with your neighbors. You will remain "The Witch Who Called The Police" as long as you live there and I would now be afraid of more serious retribution than something that could have been easily cleaned off the next day.

Just for the record: I do not condone Halloween pranks, nor would I encourage my DD to participate in them.

 

[serendipity]

to robin: although I respect your opinion I do disagree with it. Hurting someone's property is IMHO unacceptable. I would never just look the other way to someone deliberately putting something on my house and/or car.

 

[robinb]

to robin: although I respect your opinion I do disagree with it. Hurting someone's property is IMHO unacceptable. I would never just look the other way to someone deliberately putting something on my house and/or car.

Obviously, you didn't look the other way and you confronted them. There is an old saying that goes something like: "Learn when to pick your battles." You made a battle out of a bit of (mostly) harmless shaving cream and TP. It's not like they were taking a baseball bat to your car or even whipping raw eggs at it denting it. Unfortunately, these folks don't seem like the most level headed and forgiving of people and you pissed them off and ruined their fun. I would suggest that you park you car elsewhere when you go on vacation next week or you may come back to something far worse than TP on the windshield.

 

[Downrivermama]

I live 10 minutes from Detroit and in our area they call it Devil's Night. They sometimes do far worse than TP. I've had some real winners for neighbors and I have told children to move on.

The neighbor's kid down the street use to think I was mean. Now he and my dd play together and he tells everyone I'm not mean!

I am still shocked at how people just let their kids run wild. I don't like anyone messing with cars or houses, even if it is shaving cream.

 

[serendipity]

I live 10 minutes from Detroit and in our area they call it Devil's Night. They sometimes do far worse than TP. I've had some real winners for neighbors and I have told children to move on.

The neighbor's kid down the street use to think I was mean. Now he and my dd play together and he tells everyone I'm not mean!

I am still shocked at how people just let their kids run wild. I don't like anyone messing with cars or houses, even if it is shaving cream.

I agree with you completely. I was never raised in an area like this. If my parents had caught me doing that as a kid I would have been in BIG trouble. Like I've said earlier, it's one thing to your children to do something to your own property, your backyard etc. It's a completely different story to do it to someone else's property.