Misbehavin' children? Do you make them leave Event?

[Disney Debbie]

Did and didn't feel a bit of guilt about it. Have a wonderful, responsible and personable 19 year old DD now who I adore.

My dad was one who followed through as well - and I still remember crying my eyes out in the 1st grade because I wasn't allowed to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special!! (Long before VCR's!!) We lived in a small apartment at that time and I could hear my parents and baby brother in the next room watching it (and if I know my Dad he was making sure he laughed really loud to make me suffer even more! ) That's a pretty good punishment when you can remember it 38 years later!!!

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

Well its good to know Im not the only one who has to be the bad Mom sometimes. I just still can't believe she acted the way she did she has never done anything like it ever, well I know I did the right thing but......I sure wish it didn't have to come to that. Thanks everybody for sharing your stories! Parenthood theres never a dull moment, something to learn everyday!!

If this behavior is very unusual for her, it may actually be due to not feeling well. Twice I have "punished" my son for acting out in public and both times it turns out he had an ear infection!!! I felt like the world's worst mother!! Just something to consider if she is still acting out tomorrow. You definitely did the right thing, though. If you don't follow through, they will walk all over you (don't ask how I know this )

 

[aprincessmom]

Do any of you ever do this, make them leave someplace they really want to be?

If she misbehaved, yed, and it only took two times for it to never happen again. She's 9 now and I haven't had to do since she was about 3.

 

[minkydog]

I only had to do this with my oldest child. And it only took a few times for him to get the message that bad behavior would not be tolerated.He missed a field trip(once) and an afternoon at ChuckE. Cheese(once). His younger siblings grew up somehow knowing where the line was and never crossed it.

 

[Betsyt82]

You were right on with following thru with that unacceptable behavior. I have had to do it before and it worked. Now both kids know that Mom will remove them even in WDW for the rest of the day. It only take a few times and they get the meaning. I felt like a first class meanie for removing them but they are better for it. I have family member that does not get follow thru and it drives me insane when she threatens the kid to remove him and then never does it and the kid just keeps acting up, just because she does not want to leave the activity.

 

[DWhittles]

I haven't reached this stage yet but I'm sure I will soon and I refuse to make idle threats.
My husband tells a story of a visit to the Bronx Zoo with his family and he was acting like a bufoon and his no nonsense father who has had a zero tollerance policy since forever with the boys told him if he didn't behave, he was going back to the car. Guess who wound up sitting in the car while the family spent the day at the zoo?
I don't think I'll go that far but I will leave an event or a restaurant or whatever if I've threatened to do so and I'll be sure the offender understands just why we have left.
Right now I'm trying to get through the "no bite" stage...

 

[welovedisneyx4]

Just a keep I know it seems simple but make sure your child is well fed before you go out anywhere it will make a big difference.

That also goes for your husband!!

 

[NMAmy]

Well, I would have if it became necessary but all it ever took for dd was a trip to the car for a talk--and even that only once or twice. If she was acting up, I'd say, "Do we need to go to the car for a talk?" and she'd straighten up and say, "No, I'll be good." I have no idea what others thought I was doing in the car--I've never been a spanker and I seriously was just talking to her, telling her what kind of behavior was appropriate and that we WOULD leave if she couldn't behave.

It helped to have an only child--no fights between siblings and no one egging her on.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Do any of you ever do this, make them leave someplace they really want to be?

How can you not do that? I rarely criticize any parenting style. I know the number of styles in this world is equal to the number of children in this world. Everyone is different. But…..

Nothing irritates me more, then being in public and hearing a parent say over and over and over, “If you don’t stop, we are going to leave”. You know what, if you don’t leave after the first or second time, even the youngest kid knows its an empty threat? That ranks right up there with “Do you want to go to your room?” or “Do you want a spanking?” Just once I would love for a child to respond, “Why yes father, I would love a spanking, thank you for the offer”

 

[Missy1961]

I'm not a parent, but I am an aunt. 2 of my nieces live nearby and I take care of them often. Recently, I was taking the two of them to a restaurant for dinner. We were walking there, and the older (6 1/2) was acting up. All I had to do was turn around like I was going home--and she stopped. Because her parents follow thru, and she knows I will too!

 

[DVC-Don]

Yep, walked out of a few places (county fair included) due to tantrums when they were little. No yelling on our part, just "If you don't stop we'll leave", then we did.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Yep, count me in. With us I start counting to three. They know they have to stop the behavior by '3' or there will be drastic conseqences. The girls know it because I had to do 'drastic consequences' a few times, like losing tv time, losing dessert, not getting to go over their friends' house, etc, for them to take the counting seriously.

The good think is now I just have to start counting, I don't have to come up with a specific consequence. They just know, uh oh, Mommy's counting, I better shape up!

And don't feel too bad about the fair, if she was crying that hard when she was there she probably wouldn't have had a good time from that point on anyway...

It's tough being a good mom, we don't get any friendship awards...

 

[Buckalew11]

Well, I have done it too. And there have been times where I was punished, ya know? (Ex. If you don't do ___, then we can't go ___.) And we stayed home. Darn. And when you stay home (little girl) you don't get to stay in your room and play w/ your toys. LOL Nope, we'll clean or something!

I don't know where all the people are who don't follow through though?! They're out there in droves! I'm always irritated when I hear moms and dads say "If you do that one more time, ____."

I'm a hairdresser and I have heard that so many times while doing hair. Just like when you answer the phone and kids act up, so will they also act up when mom or dad is the haircutting chair! I have actually said, "You know, mommy can get up out of my chair anytime she needs to if you don't stop." Of course, that is after waiting on mom to say something...

Hooray for the parents who follow through. The good thing is you only have to do it a few times & they catch on real fast. Of course, it works both ways. If you don't follow through, they catch on to that real fast also!

 

[dismom9761]

Last night we were at a football game.My DD6 was cheering and her brother was playing in the game.The head cheerleading coach's DD was acting horrible.Talking ugly to her mom,whining and yelling when she didn't like the cheer that was chosen.At one point she started stomping her feet and screaming because she wanted to lead the cheer.My dd anounced loudly enough for everyone in the stands to hear "SOMEBODY needs to go home".Quite a few of us agreed.BTW the girl is 8 yrs old.
My 3 oldest know that if you can't behave you will be removed from whatever is going on.It is the only way to be considerate of the people around you.

 

[Maleficent13]

Okay...totally serious question here, although I know it sounds like I'm just trying to be annoying. What do you do if your child is in public throwing a fit because they don't want to be there? If you remove them, you're giving them exactly what they want. I know a kid who will do this when he doesn't want to be grocery shopping, shoe shopping, etc. Pitch a full fledged fit until he gets to leave. I would be at my wit's end.

 

[MamaLema]

Absolutely. I actually get Worst Mom of the Decade Award for this. I have even not let my child go on a much deserved trip with her 5th grade class because she was misbehaving so badly. (I did give her fair warning of the consequences of her actions) The end of the year trip to Cedar Point was much deserved as far as her class room behavior was concerned, but her behavior at home was atrocious! After weeks of warnings, and telling her that she would not be attending the trip, I finally had to make good on my threat. She didn't think I would follow through because I had already paid for the trip and it wasn't refundable. Well, guess what? She's still alive, still misbehavin' and still an "A" student. One thing she isn't is (as ) rebellious.

You think you're the worst mom for that? I think you're the best . It takes guts to follow up on "threats" and if everyone did that, we wouldn't need shows like Nanny 911.

BTW to the OP, I think you did the right thing

 

[RadioNate]

Okay...totally serious question here, although I know it sounds like I'm just trying to be annoying. What do you do if your child is in public throwing a fit because they don't want to be there? If you remove them, you're giving them exactly what they want. I know a kid who will do this when he doesn't want to be grocery shopping, shoe shopping, etc. Pitch a full fledged fit until he gets to leave. I would be at my wit's end.

You just described my DS! Yes, he learned quickly that if he acts up we'll leave so now of course he does it to get out of things! He's 4 BTW.

You should see him in the mall or grocery store. It's embarrasing and of course I get dirty looks from all the 'why doesn't she take him home for acting that way' mothers.

Just monday he acted up in Target to get me to leave. After we got home he was punished but you know what he happily sat in his time out chair for nearly 2 hours doing nothing. He was absolutley rather sit in the hot car doing nothing than be in doing something 'we' want him to do. It is SO frustrating.

I try to avoid those situations whenever possible. I try to get errands done when he is in preschool. If he acts up to leave I generally ignore the behavior, do what I have to do and get out of there as quickly as possible.

There is a punishment at home. Usually a time out followed by no TV or books at bed time. Time outs are a joke to him. He'll sit there all day. He's been known to put himself in timeout. The no TV thing sometimes gets to him but the books at bedtime really upset him. The problem with that he doesn't connect the no books with what happened 6 hours earlier.

We are still trying to figure out what works.

 

[sue1013]

When I would have to take the kids somewhere they didn't want to go like the grocery store. I would go over the behavior rules before we got in the store they were told if they couldn't follow the rules we would leave BUT they would also lose their favorite game or tv whatever their favorite at the time was. They tested me once or twice then realized it was easier to just behave than miss their favorite item for a couple days.

 

[experiment626mom]

Yep used to do it when the stepkids were younger. It's not easy.

Do you know what set her off?

 

[Dreamer04]

I have to be honest, I am a former empty threat Mom! (Dreamer04 bows her head in shame).

After sticking to my guns just 2 times, DD 7 is well aware that I am now an empowered Mommy! (Dreamer04 raises her head with pride!)