Misbehavin' children? Do you make them leave Event?

[MandM-Mom]

Tonight we went to our local county fair, we took our children. DD4 is by no means a saint but always very well behaved in public, we have always said if you don't behave we leave, well for the first time we had to follow thru! She threw such a fit She threw herself down in the dirt, yelled screached, I have never in four years seen her do this, so after only being at the Fair 1 hour or so she did this and we told her we were going home, and we did!!!! She screamed the whole ride home I made her go to bed as soon as we got home, now she is in her room sobbing, I mean really sobbing.

Do any of you ever do this, make them leave someplace they really want to be?

 

[tikkipoo]

I think you did the right thing. I don't know what gets into kids at times. My DD is 7 now, mostly well behaved too, but she has done that a few times. I think giving in is the worst thing that you can do when that happens. You might want to talk to her after her fit ends. Tell her as best as you can why what happened, happened. It's so hard being a parent!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, and we still do. It works wonder on arguing dd's. Sometimes we only get down the street.
When we are going out as a family for fun we want them to behave and not fight and argue.
Oh and they are 8 & 14!

 

[oogieboogie]

Yup, been there done that. I've had many times where the kids were stuck grounded on their beds crying and sobbing. But rules are rules and if they break them, they know what happens.

 

[tlgoblue]

Absolutely. I actually get Worst Mom of the Decade Award for this. I have even not let my child go on a much deserved trip with her 5th grade class because she was misbehaving so badly. (I did give her fair warning of the consequences of her actions) The end of the year trip to Cedar Point was much deserved as far as her class room behavior was concerned, but her behavior at home was atrocious! After weeks of warnings, and telling her that she would not be attending the trip, I finally had to make good on my threat. She didn't think I would follow through because I had already paid for the trip and it wasn't refundable. Well, guess what? She's still alive, still misbehavin' and still an "A" student. One thing she isn't is (as ) rebellious.

 

[Blondy876]

Yes we have done this. And good for you for following through. Your dd now knows that you do not make idol threats.

 

[RitaZ.]

Yes and they hate it.

 

[floridaminnie]

Been there and done it. They hate it and I hate it too, but I don't promise anything that I can't follow through on.

 

[Kitty 34]

It only takes a few times taking them home from an event or store or restaurant or whatever....at least for my boys.

 

[liamandcaili]

Absolutely. It pains me when my two children cry and scream, but I feel that I give them fair warning as to the consequences of their actions. My son is more at the stage where he is experimenting with how far he can go with me and what he can get away with, and when I tell him that if he does X then Y will happen, if X happens, Y does too. You shouldn't feel bad. Our job is to be parents, not friends...at least for now. My parents were pretty strict with me as a child, but now as an adult, I consider them great friends. I hope the same holds true with my children when they are grown.

 

[diznygirl]

My brother tried this on his son - problem was he was visiting us in California and we were on our way out of the Disneyland Hotel to get on the tram for his first ever trip to Disneyland! Sorry Bro, but think up another punishment this time!!

We are definitely in the "If you say it, do it" group. So many times I have heard people say it and never follow thru. We haven't had to do this with our kids. We have had to take them out of a restaurant to get them to calm down, and it usually works. We can bring them back in and they are little angels.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I never have, but I've threatened to. My 4-yo knows that if he's told to straighten up or we'll leave that we mean it. Not that he's an angel by any means, but we always follow through on our "threats", and he knows it. I will tell him once, and if he doesn't stop, that's it. I don't make threats I don't keep, and I always follow through, even though once or twice when I thought about it, it seemed that I was too harsh.

My neighbor thinks it's terrible, I made him leave their house one day because he was told and didn't mind. She thinks I'm mean to him, afterall, he's only 4......and her 4-yo dd is the one who come over to our house, yelling and screaming at me that she isn't going home when we ask her to, walking in without knocking, etc. I told her the same thing as I tell my kids.....we don't act like this, and I won't allow it at my house. If you don't behave, you won't be allowed to come back. She didn't stop, and I made her leave. That was an act of God in itself, she stood on my back porch and screamed and hit my door for about a half an hour, I told her to go home 3 times, and I shut the sliding door so we couldn't hear her, then I closed the blind so she couldn't see us, and she left. She isn't allowed back over here to play until she can learn to behave. I don't mean she has to be perfect, but she isn't going to scream at me!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Tonight we went to our local county fair, we took our children. DD4 is by no means a saint but always very well behaved in public, we have always said if you don't behave we leave, well for the first time we had to follow thru! She threw such a fit She threw herself down in the dirt, yelled screached, I have never in four years seen her do this, so after only being at the Fair 1 hour or so she did this and we told her we were going home, and we did!!!! She screamed the whole ride home I made her go to bed as soon as we got home, now she is in her room sobbing, I mean really sobbing.

Do any of you ever do this, make them leave someplace they really want to be?

Good job! Ten to one, she will not repeat that behavior. It may seem drastic, but with most kids, once they see evidence that their parents mean it when they say to stop, they will NOT forget! I did this to my daughter once at a restaurant when she was about your daughter's age. Mid meal, she was acting like an animal. I told her to stop or we'd go out to the car. She refused to stop, so I made good with my promise. She never pulled that again. Sometimes kids just need to see that their parents mean business. It's too bad y'all had to leave the fair early, but what you did will likely guarantee that you will have a much better time at future events.

 

[jag90]

Have done it before, will do it again. DH and I make sure our kids know exactly what is expected of them and exactly what will happen should they not meet the expectations. We don't have outrageous expectations...We simply expect behavior appropriate for the time and place. If the kids can't abide by the rules, we leave.

There have been times when one of the kids showed out while the other behaved as expected. In those times we have made the misbehaving child stick to mom & dad like glue while the other child was allowed to continue having fun.

 

[Daisy Duck 5]

Just a keep I know it seems simple but make sure your child is well fed before you go out anywhere it will make a big difference.

 

[Disney Doll]

A funny little story about this...

Me, age 7, in Howard Johnson's with my parents an older brother having dinner. Me, acting up. Mom saying "if you do that one more time, we will sit in the car while Daddy and Bobby finish their dinner and get a sundae for dessert". Me, in my infinite 7 year old wisdom knowing full well that she would not miss dinner and dessert in a restaurant. Me acting up again. Me sitting in the car with Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I learned a very important lesson that day...if she said it, she meant it.

 

[MandM-Mom]

Well its good to know Im not the only one who has to be the bad Mom sometimes. I just still can't believe she acted the way she did she has never done anything like it ever, well I know I did the right thing but......I sure wish it didn't have to come to that. Thanks everybody for sharing your stories! Parenthood theres never a dull moment, something to learn everyday!!

 

[isyne4u]

Good job mom!! I have done that wiht my now 5 year old. When he was 2 we went to a very nice Japanese steak house for Mother's Day dinner. Before we could order he was trying to throw things in the floor and screaming. I had warned him again and again and it didn't help so I picked him up and the two of us left. My mom, grandmother, and brother and SIL all stayed and had dinner.

Of course i felt like a failure as a parent b/c my kid was misbehaving on MY day!! So I sat home and cried and he threw one whopper of a temper tantrum!!

The moral of this tale....what mommy said, mommy meant!!

tara

 

[AmyBeth68]

Yes....they learn a BIG lesson when they are made to leave. We've left restaurants, parties, etc. We've had to do it to each child on a very few occasions...it leaves a big impression on them and they learn a valuable lesson IMHO. It also shows that you mean what you say....and consistency.

My DD threw a fit and was yelling at my DB at her party a few years ago, all over a silly game they were playing. I was so upset (even though I knew she was just over-stimulated). Anyway, I felt it was disrespectful so I made her donate the gift he brought her. I'm sorry...but I will not allow my children to be disrespectful and spoiled . I felt AWFUL but she learned such a lesson from that. Besides....we were able to donate books using her gift card to their new school library and she can take them out whenever she wants now . It all worked out!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Good job, Mom!! No flames from me!