message to my daughter's next boyfriend....

[LoodlesNoodles]

My first boyfriend (we'd been together about a year) broke up with me via text.
It hurt as I couldn't do anything about it. But in a way I'm sort of glad as I wouldn't have wanted anyone to see me in the state I was in.

Hard to believe that was 8 years ago. Time is flying past me!

Hugs to your DD. :

 

[luv2sew]

my DD's college roommate told her via IM that she had moved out of the room....said my DD was to sign the paper she left on the dresser. My daughter wouldn't sign told her to come to the room and she'd sign it while the two of them were face to face.

Just a crappy way to hear anything...next thing you know people will be texting and IMing to tell that a loved one has died....wasn't too long ago that that was one thing you didn't even say on the phone to someone.

 

[goofy!]

That is exactly why my daughter's allstar cheer gym does not allow cell phones at out of state competitions.

One competition, somebody's boyfriend texted au revoir about 10 minutes before they were going to compete. The girl was a mess and the routine did not go quite like it should have.

There were 20+ other families on that team that had paid good money to be there and the kids had worked too hard for some thoughtless boyfriend to put a kink into it.

One competition, kids were trying to thwart the rules and the coaches collected all cell phones and locked them up in the hotel safe for the weekend.

But then, I also have to agree that it is today's way of communication. My high school boyfriend, way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth (1975) broke up with me via a note passed to me. So I guess that was the early version of texting.

I am sure our forefathers (or mothers) thought guys breaking up by phone was cowardly.

Breakups are difficult no matter the way they were delivered. I am sorry your daughter is hurting right now.

 

[RitaZ.]

DS's girlfrind broke it off with him by text last month. It was a crappy thing to do. I hope her hair falls out.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

DS's girlfrind broke it off with him by text last month. It was a crappy thing to do. I hope her hair falls out.

I like your style!

The horrible thing about the text breakup is that you could be anywhere enjoying yourself with people and you suddenly get this random, "I must break up with you" message. That is indeed very crappy.

 

[bballmom56]

Been there, lived through it. DS's ex gf of 2 1/2 years broke up with him by text about an hour after we had taken her out to dinner! Nice.

It drives me nuts that kids (and some adults) are communicating and trying to maintain relationships by texting. If you use it right, the same device will actually transmit your voice to them and in return, you can hear their voice. Yep, I know I'm old.

 

[Handbag Lady]

You know, though, on second thought, I WISH we had texts back when I was breaking up with this other creep. I would have felt safer.

 

[Shutterbug]

When that happens you just text back...

"Well at least I still have those naked photos of you that you sent me to rememeber you by"

 

[PrincessKsMom]

DS's girlfrind broke it off with him by text last month. It was a crappy thing to do. I hope her hair falls out.

Wow, I hope that was a joke.

My DD just broke up with her first ever boyfriend. I told her she'd better not break up with him via text message, because I think that's just wrong. Her retort was that he asked her out via text message, so why couldn't she break off via text message? FWIW, she was ready to break off with him a few weeks before she did, but didn't because everyone kept telling her what a wonderful guy he was and how she'd be making a big mistake. When she finally decided she was sure she wanted to break off, I wouldn't let her because he was graduating in a week and leaving for vacation a few days later. I told her it wouldn't be fair to ruin that for him, so I made her wait until he got back. I think they were both very mature about it (even though they're only 14) and continue to text/talk to each other. I'm glad her first experience of dating was with such a great kid. I'm gonna miss him.

 

[teacherforhi]

My kids friends 11 & 12, have entire relationships through texting. It's so weird to me. It's as if the instant written word has so removed them from the real world they forget there are real life people on the other end of those phones. The biggest change I notice at the moment is how disengaged so many of my kids' peers are, they use terms that indicate a strong bond but some can't seem to back them up. They seem to swear being BFF's or IN LOVE with each other only to sever the bond in a split second with the press of the "SEND" key. VERY PECULIAR and I'm afraid, unhealthy because it's easy to mistake manipulative words for genuine feelings without looking in someone's eyes, and it's much easier to believe a lie or be hurt. I at least talk to my kids about this stuff but I think I am in the minority.

That has nothing to do with texting. I've been seeing that for years at the middle school where I work. A guy asks a girl out and the next day they "love" each other. A week later, it's over and they've both moved on to "love" someone else. The boys aren't as bad as the girls, but both groups are guilty.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Texting is such a part of teens lives that I can see this being the norm soon if not already.

Sadly, I do think it is the norm and they all do it. I'm very against it but my DD17 thinks it's perfectly fine.

When that happens you just text back...

"Well at least I still have those naked photos of you that you sent me to rememeber you by"

hahahaha

 

[chewbacca]

DS's girlfrind broke it off with him by text last month. It was a crappy thing to do. I hope her hair falls out.

I don't know why but this struck me as really funny!

 

[golfgal]

ugh my first boyfriend broke up with me with a letter. Not the nicest way to do it. But unfortunately thats the way teenagers act. Its texts, notes, and facebook wall posts.

I guess it's today's version of the "Dear John" letter. Doesn't matter how it's done, it's hard. Hugs to your daughter.

I agree that this is the modern "Dear John" letter. When I was in high school it wasn't uncommon for people to break up in a letter-a text isn't all that different. NOW, saying that, I don't agree with breaking up in a letter or a text. DD's first "boyfriend" using the term loosely as it was in middle school and they never really DID anything together but sit by each other in lunch==SHE broke up with him in a text and boy did she get in trouble with US. Not acceptable.

 

[arminnie]

ugh my first boyfriend broke up with me with a letter.

Decades ago I broke up with my fiancee by letter two months before the wedding. Of course he told me that he didn't have a phone - because he was traveling so much. So other than a telegram that was my only way of contacting him.

I was so stupid that I believed him. We were engaged for a year long distance (after being together in college since freshman year).

I really dodged a bullet there. He married someone else TWO WEEKS later that he'd been dating. I had no clue - I just decided that I didn't want to get married that young.

And he wrote my parents this long letter about how I had left him and how he was suffering, and that he was rededicating his life to Christ because he just didn't know how he was going to live without me.

This is a man who basically stalked me for years. Fortunately it was long distance so I didn't have to face him. I would walk into a new apartment two thousand miles away and my phone would ring with a call from him. I moved back and forth across the country about 10 times - but as an attorney and me being kind of well known in my profession he could usually find me. Even had someone contact my mother once under false pretenses about a college reunion to get my contact info.

I got an email from him just two weeks ago. And yes he is still married to that woman 40 years later!!!! He has this memory of me being the love of his life and vice versa. My only memories are of trying to break up with him for years.

Some of the conversations were downright funny. He wanted to meet me for a "weekend". Of course I had not interest. I asked him how often he cheated on his wife. He said "Never, I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I did."

When I reminded him that he'd just invited me for a tryst - wouldn't that be cheating. He said in all seriousness 'No, that would just be for old times sake".

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I don't think it's that big of a deal.. and I'm 38.

 

[HeyIt'sMe]

I went into my 13 yo DD's room to check in on her and she was lying in bed reading a book a friend forgot here when she slept over last night. It's titled "How to Dump a Guy". My DD said "So far it doesn't saying anything about breaking up with a text". I asked her when the booked was published - 1998. I told her I thought texting was fairly new back then so I wouldn't expect that they'd include that in the book. She said they did talk about cell phones ..... and answering machines.

I think the age of the couple/degree of relationship (for lack of a better word) would dictate how I feel about using a text to break up. My DD has a 'boyfriend'....that she never sees in person except when they are in school (I'm glad it's summer break!). They text ALOT but they never talk on the phone (because he's "Mr. One Word Answer" as DD says) so if DD and this 'boyfriend' decided to break up and one of them sent a text to do so I wouldn't give it a second thought. However, if DD and her boyfriend were maybe in college and serious and had been dating for a while then I'd think breaking up via text would be disrespectful.

 

[stm61]

that happened to my ds. His ex had her friend text him, didn't even do it herself! Luckily ds took it in stride. He's really not to into the whole dating thing because he has no car, job, or parent willing to fund his dates.

 

[Shreggor]

I don't think it's that big of a deal.. and I'm 38.

My fiance dumped his last gf via MySpace in an especially evil way and he's 36. I personally found it kind of funny. They only went out on a few dates and she was apparently so stupid she made Paris Hilton look like a genius. Like, she honestly didn't understand how to look things up on Google or how to read a clock. She wasn't developmentally slow or anything... she was just ditzy and my FI's tolerance for ditz is next to zero. One day, she said something extra dumb and he just couldn't take it anymore so he dumped her via the MySpace.

We've been happlily together for a few years. I was friends with him when this all went on though and I never thought he was a bad guy for it. Of course, my tolerance for ditz is pretty low also. I think there are just some times when text or email is best. Obviously it's not a way to end a real relationship or a marriage but if you're 14 or something or if you'e 40 and have only gone on a few awful dates then not a big deal.

 

[Guy Incognito]

if you are going to get permission from us to date our daughter, when it's time that you want to break up with her, please do it in person or by phone. Don't text her to break up. Likewise, she will show you the same courtesy if she decides to break up with you.

thank you.

Seriously -- my DD's boyfriend texted her to breakup. He's a great guy -- very smart and polite. But a text? He lives not 5 minutes away....he could have come over. God knows he's over here all the time. After being shocked, I found out that several of her girlfriends have been broken up with via text. I have a HUGE problem with that! Anyone else have an opinion?

when is his birthday? If he has a party, hire some male strippers to show up in cop uniforms or something..... won't get to see the reaction, but everyone at school will hear all about it and never let him forget it

 

[Nancy]

I work with a girl...mid 20's. Her live in boyfriend sent her a text while she was at work. Paraphrasing, "I don't love you anymore, I'll give you a few days to get stuff out of the apartment."

Some so called men never grow up.