Men Faking it.......

[Galahad]

Thursday September 9, 04:08 AM

Dads sleep on as baby cries

LONDON (Reuters) - Half of fathers either continue to doze or pretend to be asleep when their babies cry during the night, making many mothers resentful, a survey released today shows.


In addition to the 52 percent of dads who do not get up with their wailing children, a further 22 percent only get up after their partner has already crawled out of bed.


The lack of support leaves six in 10 mothers feeling bitter towards their partners. Restless nights also mean 86 percent of mums prefer sleep to sex.


"It's amazing so many relationships survive the onslaught of a baby, but sadly, some never recover. And the problem is compounded because so many couples with a baby now both work and they feel ravaged with tiredness," said Elena Dalrymple, editor of Mother & Baby magazine, which carried out the survey of 2,000 parents across the country.


The research also showed that most babies are about five months old before they regularly sleep for seven hours a night and a third don't sleep through the night until they are 18 months old.

Hey guys.....doesn't look like that extra 5 minutes of sleep is really worth it..........

 

[Bichon Barb]

My DH actually started wearing ear plugs after our second was born. I guess he figured "you're the lactating SAHM, you take care of it".

(He denies to this day that that is when he started using ear plugs, but I wouldn't make something like that up! )

But I confess, in those days, I was one of the 86 percent.

 

[Pin Wizard]

"Restless nights also mean 86 percent of mums prefer sleep to sex."

Wow! You would think this alone would get the guys moving.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Mom would get a lot more rest if more dads realized what they were trading for not getting up with the baby!

 

[onecoolmama]

My DH is the 22%..he will crawl out of bed if I am already up. What is up with that?

 

[spagheddie]

Originally posted by I_Know_You2!
Mom would get a lot more rest if more dads realized what they were trading for not getting up with the baby!

Maybe they do.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

Well, sometimes you're tired and it's enough already.

 

[poohkinandpiglet]

My husband did that quite often when our kids were babies.

 

[JVL1018]

I stopped nursing my son at night because I could barely wake up-I would sit there crying as I nursed because I was so exhausted...it didn't last long with my daughter because she started sleeping through at 6 weeks--my son took forever
DH got up with him every night and gave him a bottle.
My kids are 3 and 5 and he has been the go to guy in the middle of the night from Day 1, unless they needed to fed and I was nursing. Even then he would get up, change the baby and bring him or her to me in bed.
I figure he's more than happy to leap out of bed wide awake for a call(he's a fireman), he can get out of bed for the kids.
He doesn't mind at all, and it works well for us.
If he gets 4 hours of sleep he feels fine, and if he's up for 20 minutes or 3 hours in the middle of the night he can go right back to sleep--not so with me in either case.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My exh and I always took turn waking up. In fact, it was usually ME who was faking it.

 

[mickeyboat]

Kids are 4 and 5. DH still does it.

They sleep through the night just fine, but DD4 talks in her sleep. She hollers all sorts of crazy things. She won't stop until you go in and talk to her and cover her back up.

I blame DD4's talking on DH - he has night terrors - so I think he should be the one to get up. But conveniently, his side of the bed is the furthest from the door, so I have been elected.

Interesting article. I think I will print it out for him.

Denae

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

My husband is really great. He would shake me, tell me the baby's crying and turn over to get comfortable. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

 

[AmazingGrace]

That's okay, I started faking it with baby #1, and by baby #3, daddy was trained. He'd get Grace and change her, I'd feed her, and he'd put her back to sleep!!!

 

[NMAmy]

I was lucky--my ex is a cop and he worked the swing shift. He got home at 2:30 a.m. which was just about the time dd would wake up. So he'd take her and feed her. That was sure a lifesaver since I was working full-time!

See, I can say nice things about my ex. I'm so proud of myself!

 

[Serena]

I was a light sleeper so he didn't have to fake it. A tornado would probably not wake him up. As it was, since I was nursing, he wasn't concerned anyway.
Then he wondered why I was so tired all the time.

 

[browneyes]

I conducted a self-study on this twice. I concur with the findings.

 

[popeyeohoh]

We felt that since he worked 10-12 hr days that I would get up. I even slept on the couch for 6 weeks with a cradle right next to me. I felt better being that close and dh to this day appreciates that I did not push him to get up. He tells his male co-workers this and they are amazed. They have to get up with their babies even if their wives are sahm. Not to say that at times I wished he would get up. He has but not many.

 

[thelittlemermaid]

DH has always been on the night shift with our two kids, so I can't get upset at him not getting up at night.

When my two were little, it worked out that I would get up once during the night for a feeding. Then by the time DH would get home from work, it was time for another feeding, so DH would take care of it so I could sleep.

All in all everything worked out fine. Now we did have our times on the weekends. There were times where I pushed him out of bed to get up.

DD has been staying up pretty late and if it's the weekend and I am the one who is staying up to get her to sleep, DH knows he better get up in the morning with her. Cause if I have to, the rest of the day isn't going to be pretty. LOL!!!

 

[ckmommy]

Well, with our five kidos, I can count on one hand the number of times DH has gotten up to feed them. In fact when we had the twins, DH told me we should use a bottle at night so he could help. He got up once then never again. So needless to say, I stopped doing the bottle thing in the middle of the night. It is and has been so much easier nursing in the middle of the night for me. With Cian, DH has not gotton up once with him. I am completely fine with this though. I truly do not mind getting up with the baby. Maybe beause he is the last, I kind of enjoy those night time feedings where it is just Cian and myself and a quiet house...

I have to say I am definatly one of the 86% though!

 

[justhat]

Not only does my husband not get up when our daughter wakes up during the night (which has been many times a night over the past month), but since I usually get her back to sleep before she makes noise, if she does cry he'll eventually wake up and ask me in an annoyed tone what's wrong with her. Then he wonders why I'm so tired everynight. I don't mind doing everything during the night with her since I don't need nearly as much sleep as my husband (not that I'm not exhausted everyday), it's the daytime that bothers me. When he's home and I ask him to hold Madison I'm often met with a sigh and an "I'm so tired, I've been on my feet all day", as though I sit on the couch eating BonBons while our 6 month old amuses, feeds, and changes herself. He thinks his job as a daddy is to play with her for a few minutes a day, and then wonders why she cries everytime he holds her!