Meal for Free or No Big Deal

[Magpie]

It may make no sense to you, nor perhaps I, I am omnivorous. However, it could make perfect sense to a vegetarian who sets their own parameters and eats accordingly. Consuming something and eating something are quite different. I love a good steak but I would not eat my shoes.

I think if you refuse to eat meat, but have no moral objection to killing animals, rendering their fat for cooking, and using them for other non-food purposes, then you aren't a vegetarian. You're just a picky eater.

In which case, go ahead and fry up your food in lard and eat cheese with rennet. "I don't like the taste of meat" is entirely different from, "I have taken a principled stand against the consumption of my fellow creatures."

Otherwise it'd be like calling yourself a pacifist, just because you don't actually EAT the people you've killed and skinned and are presently wearing as clothing.

Where vegetarians legitimately differ is on whether they eat milk or eggs (no animal dies in their production), whether they eat fish and seafood (not a red-blooded animal), and whether they will buy used clothing made from animal products (wearing used items is responsible since it keeps them from the landfill, and does not encourage the production of more of these items).

 

[luvmy3]

I don't expect that every ingredient is listed. As I mentioned and a previous poster mentioned, it is pretty common for a grilled cheese sandwich to also include bacon, although it is sometimes not listed on the menu.

I don't think that a patron should ask for all the ingredients of every meal, but again, as others have mentioned, there is a lot that goes into being a vegetarian, and non-vegetarian items are easily overlooked if not asked about.

The OP, since she has very specific, not mainstream needs, has the responsibility to ask one simple question:

"Is this a vegetarian meal?"

That would cover the obvious chicken and the not so obvious things such as lard and other ingredients that others have covered.

I agree the restaurant made a mistake in serving an item with not correctly listed on the menu. However, they replaced it immediately with the correct item. Their responsibility was covered.

The OP, if she is going to be a serious vegetarian in the future, must take the responsibility to question every meal.

Just as if a peanut allergic person might ask if the quesadilla was peanut free. No, peanuts were not listed on the menu, nor would anybody expect peanuts to come out with a cheese quesadilla. But, what about cross contamination with peanut oil or the ppj on the kids menu where the utensils might have been cross contaminated.

If a customer has very specific needs, it is the responsibility of the customer to make those needs known.

The restaurant satisfied their portion of the mistake quite satisfactorily by replacing the offending meal with an appropriate to the customer's needs one. No need to comp the meal.

Since the OP does not seem to even know much about vegetarianism herself, ie: all the other ingredients that need to be monitored for, how can she expect the restaurant to guess her needs?

When she did say that her daughter did not eat chicken (still not mentioning vegetarianism - the kid could just have been a picky eater), the restaurant promptly replaced the item.

Adequate to good customer service in my book.

I don't know where you guys eat, but never have my kids ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and gotten bacon on it They have ordered grilled cheese, and gotten cheese only just like it said on the menu and just like the ordered it. Also, never have they recieved a chicken quesadilla when ordering a cheese one. If they had, no big deal, and no we wouldn't expect it to be comped but I would expect just cheese on it if it was listed on the menu as a cheese guesadilla, and I expect 99% of the population would as well.
As far as this being the same as a food allergy, it is not. There are alot of hidden allergens in the food, or the oil in which it was cooked, or the breading, etc that could kill a person, not really in the same ballpark as not wanting to eat something. And digging at the OP's lack of knowledge of vegetarianism doesn't make any difference, perhaps they just don't eat the actual meat and eating animal bi-products doesn't matter to them. Their morals aren't any concern here.

OP, while I don't believe you should have been comped a meal, I think its ridiculous that people are trying to say that you bear some responsibilty in making sure your the cheese quesadilla you ordered off the menu doesn't come out as a chicken quesadilla Really, people read a menu and order from it and expect to get what they odered, not something completely different, the fact that you (or your dd) are vegetarians doesn't mean you have to question every non meat entree you order. Of course you are free to, but typically (99.9% of the time) when something on the menu doesn't contain a meat, it doesn't come out of the kitchen with a pile of meat on it.

 

[Rumpus]

I think if you refuse to eat meat, but have no moral objection to killing animals, rendering their fat for cooking, and using them for other non-food purposes, then you aren't a vegetarian. You're just a picky eater.

In which case, go ahead and fry up your food in lard and eat cheese with rennet. "I don't like the taste of meat" is entirely different from, "I have taken a principled stand against the consumption of my fellow creatures."

Otherwise it'd be like calling yourself a pacifist, just because you don't actually EAT the people you've killed and skinned and are presently wearing as clothing.

Where vegetarians legitimately differ is on whether they eat milk or eggs (no animal dies in their production), whether they eat fish and seafood (not a red-blooded animal), and whether they will buy used clothing made from animal products (wearing used items is responsible since it keeps them from the landfill, and does not encourage the production of more of these items).

That may be your definition that you chose. Someone else may chose something different and for very different reasons. Beef eaters may be repulsed at eating veal. Others eat chicken but would never eat beef. Some eat fish and seafood but avoid eating land animals. If someone orders CHEESE, that is what they want. A good restaurant would try to apologize in a concrete way. I am guessing that a $4. meal comped would have resulted in a bigger tip for the server. I know when I have had meals comped, I have made that courtesy up to the server.

 

[mjkacmom]

Some people, even waiters, may not realize the potential for a long-term vegetarian to become ill if they ingest meat products. If it were me, I would have requested a replacement meal, explaining why the mistaken order was concerning so that he could make the kitchen staff aware that the quesadilla needed to be vegetarian-friendly, with no meat products used, visible or otherwise.
.

I agree that long-term vegetarians might have issues, a 2 year old vegetarian isn't long-term. Heck, some of my kids never had a bite of meat by the time they were 2, because they wouldn't eat it.

OP, I have never been given a free meal because the kitchen got it wrong, and I've sent many items back before - it happens. I've also been a waitress, and never gave someone an item for free because of a kitchen mistake. I'm always pleasantly surprised when the order is 100% correct (because there are a lot of us, and I do tend to make special requests).

 

[nathalee81]

I do not eat beef for personal reasons (no dietary restrictions-just something I decided long ago). I am pretty careful about asking questions about whatever I decide to order. A lot of restaurants (especially Mexican food) put beef into their queso (and then put the queso on top of nachos, enchilada's, etc.). I always ask point blank "do you put any type of meat in your cheese?". Even after I ask and request the meat to be left out, I will occasionally still get meat in the cheese. Oh, well-I send the stuff back and they replace it. I have never asked the order to be comped. It never even occurred to me to ask.
I also have a lot of vegetarian friends and one vegan friend. They are obsessive about asking what is in the food/how the food is prepared/etc. It takes them five minutes to order . Some of them will even research the restaurant on-line beforehand to check out what is in the food. It is important for them to observe this lifestyle, so they take the time to do the research.
If it is important enough to you, on a moral level, that you and your family eat vegetarian-then it should be important enough for you to ask what is in your food. I'm sorry, but it is not the restaurant's responsibility to observe your moral values.

 

[design_mom]

I agree with the majority that it sounds like the restaurant was fair.

They made a mistake. The waiter apologized and brought you a new entree that suited your needs. If you had refused the second entree then I think they should have comped your meal. A free dessert or comping the meal would have been nice in an "over and above" sort of way, but I would have been satisfied with how they handled it.

While I don't think you bear any of the fault for the cheese quesadilla having chicken on it, if consuming even a little bit of meat is a "big deal" to your family, then it probably would be a good idea to let that be known to the staff at restaurants, even if you think your order is meat-free. (My vegetarian friend always asks after being served "marinara" sauce that was actually the meatball sauce with the meatballs scooped out.) Like so many things, you really shouldn't *have* to, but if it's important to you, it's your responsibility to check it out beforehand and follow-up on it.

 

[ms.yt]

OP, what will you do in a couple of years when your daughter is in school and might possibly be served something with meat in it? I could see a situation where there is a substitute or a mom handing out food at a party that isn't aware of your child's vegetarianism. What would be ample restitution for you in that situation beyond an apology? Should the substitute be fired? Should the parent be barred from the campus?

 

[Magpie]

That may be your definition that you chose. Someone else may chose something different and for very different reasons. Beef eaters may be repulsed at eating veal. Others eat chicken but would never eat beef. Some eat fish and seafood but avoid eating land animals. If someone orders CHEESE, that is what they want. A good restaurant would try to apologize in a concrete way. I am guessing that a $4. meal comped would have resulted in a bigger tip for the server. I know when I have had meals comped, I have made that courtesy up to the server.

A beef eater who refuses to eat veal is not a vegetarian. Although the concept of a self-proclaimed "vegetarian" who eats burgers has the potential to make an awesome comedy skit.

Types of vegetarians:

Pesco-vegetarian - doesn't eat meat, but does eat fish (not generally accepted by other vegetarians)
Lacto-ovo - eats milk and eggs
Lacto-vegetarians - milk products, but not eggs
Ovo-vegetarians - eggs, but no milk products
Vegans - plants only

It's not actually a free-for-all with everyone defining themselves as "vegetarian" however the spirit moves them. There are generally accepted definitions. I cannot, for example, call myself a vegetarian just because I think liver tastes icky.

"Vegetarian" is not a synonym for "picky eater" or even "principled eater". I actually won't eat veal myself, and I buy free range eggs.

 

[Carly_Roach]

...to me, this seems like a big deal mistake.

I just always considered the "take it off the bill" to be a restaurants way of admitting that they really screwed up, and, honestly, I considered this to be a pretty big screw up.

I get that most people feel like this isn't that big of a mistake on the restaurant's part, however, I in no way think it was a mistake on my part.

Yes, I could have been more proactive in preventing the restaurants mistake, but I can't see where I actually made an error.

I guess I think about this not from the perspective of, well, she eventually received what I ordered, because that's not really the point.

From my point of view, that really didn't solve anything.

But, as I've mentioned, comping the $4 kids meal is just the most common way a restaurant has of acknowleding they screwed up.

But, at the actual time, I still believe that some sort of acknowledgement that a screwup had been made would have been nice.

In a mistake free world, I shouldn't have to say "I want a cheese quesadilla, and here are my particular reasons that it's really important that you don't screw up." The restaurant made a mistake and put chicken in it.

Now, did I make a mistake? Sure. But my mistake was not guarding against the restaurant's mistake carefully enough. And there is a big difference between actually screwing up (putting chicken inside a cheese quesadilla) and not guarding against other people screwing up.

I totally get that some people don't think the restaurant's mistake is that big a deal. I happen to disagree. I happen to think that it was a big enough of a deal that comping the kids meal (about 5% of the total tab) would have been the perfect gesture to acknowledge and apologize for that mistake. But others disagree. No problem.

I think you're so invested in who's right and who's wrong that you've lost sight of perspective in how this incident fares against everything else.

The restaurant made a mistake. It happens. We're human, we screw up. It happens. Learn to live with it and stop keeping some kind of scorecard in your head over who screwed up and what they did about it. You'll be a happier person - I guarantee it!

If someone isn't screwing up or making a mistake somewhere, sometime, somehow, then that person isn't really doing anything that contributes to their growth as a human being and our growth as a society in general. People who don't make mistakes are generally people who don't do anything worthwhile and, to be blunt, aren't worth knowing or socializing with. They simply don't add anything to the mix except drama. They nourish no one.

The restaurant made a mistake. The restaurant corrected their mistake by replacing the meal. Most of us agree that the restaurant corrected the error in a fitting manner. You can disagree all you want, and bring up all sorts of qualifyers to why you are right and the restaurant is wrong. But it's not us who will be unhappy with how the incident was resolved. You choose how you react to this small incident.

If your choice is to get as many people as possible to agree that you were right, the restaurant was wrong, and there is a moral imperative that the restaurant missed because they didn't comp the $4.00 kids meal that they replaced, then you might do better on a Diner's Club message board instead of a Disney message board.

 

[kaytieeldr]

A good restaurant would try to apologize in a concrete way. I am guessing that a $4. meal comped would have resulted in a bigger tip for the server.

Well, this already sounds like a good restaurant, the waiter apologized and replaced the dish, and since the OP's mother apparently didn't have any problem with being charged for one entree for each diner, the tip was likely appropriate, i.e. in the range the waiter would reasonably have expected for that check.

And that differs from every other thread here how? I am relatively new here but I do see a pattern.

Oh. Well, once in a great, great while - maybe once, period to be honest - someone's original opinion was changed when they realized virtually everyone who responded disagreed with them

 

[Carly_Roach]

Oh. Well, once in a great, great while - maybe once, period to be honest - someone's original opinion was changed when they realized virtually everyone who responded disagreed with them

And even then I think they just say what everyone else wanted to hear to get them off their backs. I seriously doubt people start doing things differently in their real lives because total strangers on a message board say they should. But it's a nice fantasy, yes?

 

[luvmy3]

I do not eat beef for personal reasons (no dietary restrictions-just something I decided long ago). I am pretty careful about asking questions about whatever I decide to order. A lot of restaurants (especially Mexican food) put beef into their queso (and then put the queso on top of nachos, enchilada's, etc.). I always ask point blank "do you put any type of meat in your cheese?". Even after I ask and request the meat to be left out, I will occasionally still get meat in the cheese. Oh, well-I send the stuff back and they replace it. I have never asked the order to be comped. It never even occurred to me to ask.
I also have a lot of vegetarian friends and one vegan friend. They are obsessive about asking what is in the food/how the food is prepared/etc. It takes them five minutes to order . Some of them will even research the restaurant on-line beforehand to check out what is in the food. It is important for them to observe this lifestyle, so they take the time to do the research.
If it is important enough to you, on a moral level, that you and your family eat vegetarian-then it should be important enough for you to ask what is in your food. I'm sorry, but it is not the restaurant's responsibility to observe your moral values.

You are right, but its their responsibilty to serve you what you ordered. So by serving the OP a chicken quesadilla instead of a cheese one that she ordered, they were the ones in the wrong. The OP is not required to ask what is in their food, and its perfectly normal to assume that when ordering a cheese quesadilla that there would be no chicken in it, since she didn't order a chicken one.
Or maybe I'm just incredibly lucky to have frequented restaurants all my life and never recieved a meal that had chicken in it, when that wasn't stated in either the name of the food, or the description on the menu. Who knew that was such a rare thing when going out to eat

 

[Rumpus]

You are right, but its their responsibilty to serve you what you ordered. So by serving the OP a chicken quesadilla instead of a cheese one that she ordered, they were the ones in the wrong. The OP is not required to ask what is in their food, and its perfectly normal to assume that when ordering a cheese quesadilla that there would be no chicken in it, since she didn't order a chicken one.
Or maybe I'm just incredibly lucky to have frequented restaurants all my life and never recieved a meal that had chicken in it, when that wasn't stated in either the name of the food, or the description on the menu. Who knew that was such a rare thing when going out to eat

Excellent points, and I would just like to add, from what I have seen so far; Its a darned good thing that the restaurant in question was just an unknown entity, and wasn't a WDW restaurant or the OP would never live it down!

 

[nathalee81]

You are right, but its their responsibilty to serve you what you ordered. So by serving the OP a chicken quesadilla instead of a cheese one that she ordered, they were the ones in the wrong. The OP is not required to ask what is in their food, and its perfectly normal to assume that when ordering a cheese quesadilla that there would be no chicken in it, since she didn't order a chicken one.
Or maybe I'm just incredibly lucky to have frequented restaurants all my life and never recieved a meal that had chicken in it, when that wasn't stated in either the name of the food, or the description on the menu. Who knew that was such a rare thing when going out to eat

I'm not saying it wasn't wrong of the restaurant (but, in all honesty, we have no idea what was put on the menu-the OP could have missed that chicken was in the quesadilla). I'm just saying, if she has a moral objection to eating meat and is so upset with the fact that her child is eating chicken, then she should be more conscientiousness about checking the food. You are right she isn't required to ask what is in the food, but the restaurant isn't required to read her mind and know that she and her family are vegetarians.
I don't think it is safe to assume anything. What is that old saying? If you assume something you make an *** of u and me.
If something is important to you, you need to take some personal responsibility (as my friends do when they eat out).

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not saying it wasn't wrong of the restaurant (but, in all honesty, we have no idea what was put on the menu-the OP could have missed that chicken was in the quesadilla). I'm just saying, if she has a moral objection to eating meat and is so upset with the fact that her child is eating chicken, then she should be more conscientiousness about checking the food. You are right she isn't required to ask what is in the food, but the restaurant isn't required to read her mind and know that she and her family are vegetarians.
I don't think it is safe to assume anything. What is that old saying? If you assume something you make an *** of u and me.
If something is important to you, you need to take some personal responsibility (as my friends do when they eat out).

True, however I am going by what the OP said here, as is everyone else.

I don't know what her ordering something off the menu has to do with the restaurant reading her mind about being a vegetarian. Are you all missing the point that the OP ordered a CHEESE quesadilla? She expected a cheese quesadilla to be served to her, and rightfully so. The restaurant didn't need to read her mind, she told then what she wanted. Now I could understand you all making comments like that if she ordered a chicken quesadilla, and didn't wan't chicken on it but never bothered to tell the waiter, but thats not what happened. She ordered something directly off the menu, it makes no difference why she ordered it, she should have gotten what she ordered?

I think its pretty safe to assume that a Cheese quesadilla is just that, and not a chicken quesadilla Where do you people go to eat that the menus are so misleading that you have to question if you are actually going to get what you ordered? Not even that, I'd like to know where you have gone and ordered a cheese quesadilla and recieved a chicken one?

 

[krcit]

I cannot belive that this thread is still going on


Honestly, this wouldn't even be a blip on the radar of my life. A restaurant screwed up an order and then corrected it I have been out with my friend who is diabetic and she was served a regular soda instead of diet. She took a sip, realized it was regular and asked for a new one. Should she have been given a free drink? No. Mistakes happen. Luckily, OP realized before her dd ate it, server corrected it. End of story.

 

[luvmy3]

I cannot belive that this thread is still going on


Honestly, this wouldn't even be a blip on the radar of my life. A restaurant screwed up an order and then corrected it I have been out with my friend who is diabetic and she was served a regular soda instead of diet. She took a sip, realized it was regular and asked for a new one. Should she have been given a free drink? No. Mistakes happen. Luckily, OP realized before her dd ate it, server corrected it. End of story.

I think thats my fault But my mind is just so boggled by the fact that some pp's feel the OP is wrong because she didn't make sure the cheese quesadilla she was ordering didn't have pieces of chicken in it before she ordered it. I just can't help coming back.

 

[design_mom]

True, however I am going by what the OP said here, as is everyone else.

I don't know what her ordering something off the menu has to do with the restaurant reading her mind about being a vegetarian. Are you all missing the point that the OP ordered a CHEESE quesadilla? She expected a cheese quesadilla to be served to her, and rightfully so. The restaurant didn't need to read her mind, she told then what she wanted. Now I could understand you all making comments like that if she ordered a chicken quesadilla, and didn't wan't chicken on it but never bothered to tell the waiter, but thats not what happened. She ordered something directly off the menu, it makes no difference why she ordered it, she should have gotten what she ordered?

I think its pretty safe to assume that a Cheese quesadilla is just that, and not a chicken quesadilla Where do you people go to eat that the menus are so misleading that you have to question if you are actually going to get what you ordered?

I think the difference is that for *most* people getting chicken on a cheese quesadilla would not have been a really big deal. A mistake, yes... but most people would respond with "Oh gosh, I didn't order chicken. I ordered a cheese quesadilla." Upon realizing there was a mistake, the waiter brought a cheese quesadilla -- problem solved.

To the OP, it's a big deal because it's a "moral issue." I believe the OP expected a bigger compensation (free meal) than the average person would expect, because to her the mistake was a bigger mistake than most people would consider it. I think the "mind reading" thing comes into play because unless she tells them/told them, I don't think they can be expected to know how big of a deal this is to the OP. To non-vegetarians, this is a little mistake. To her, obviously, it's a big one.

 

[crashbb]

True, however I am going by what the OP said here, as is everyone else.

I don't know what her ordering something off the menu has to do with the restaurant reading her mind about being a vegetarian. Are you all missing the point that the OP ordered a CHEESE quesadilla? She expected a cheese quesadilla to be served to her, and rightfully so. The restaurant didn't need to read her mind, she told then what she wanted. Now I could understand you all making comments like that if she ordered a chicken quesadilla, and didn't wan't chicken on it but never bothered to tell the waiter, but thats not what happened. She ordered something directly off the menu, it makes no difference why she ordered it, she should have gotten what she ordered?

I think its pretty safe to assume that a Cheese quesadilla is just that, and not a chicken quesadilla Where do you people go to eat that the menus are so misleading that you have to question if you are actually going to get what you ordered? Not even that, I'd like to know where you have gone and ordered a cheese quesadilla and recieved a chicken one?

The only time I've had it happen, it was totally my fault. The big bolded bit said "CHEESE QUESADILA", the smaller print (i.e. the description) did say it contained meat. I think the item name should have been "MEAT QUESADILA", but it was my fault for not fully reading the description.

Other than that, though I agree with the majority that the meal did not need to be comped, I do agree with you that the menu should have indicated (in the name or description) that it contained chicken.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think the difference is that for *most* people getting chicken on a cheese quesadilla would not have been a really big deal. A mistake, yes... but most people would respond with "Oh gosh, I didn't order chicken. I ordered a cheese quesadilla." Upon realizing there was a mistake, the waiter brought a cheese quesadilla -- problem solved.

To the OP, it's a big deal because it's a "moral issue." I believe the OP expected a bigger compensation (free meal) than the average person would expect, because to her the mistake was a bigger mistake than most people would consider it. I think the "mind reading" thing comes into play because unless she tells them/told them, I don't think they can be expected to know how big of a deal this is to the OP. To non-vegetarians, this is a little mistake. To her, obviously, it's a big one.

See I was mistaken earlier. I thought she had to pay for the chicken and the cheese quesadilla. DUH.......

Of course the cheese quesadilla should not be free, that is silly.

And to you address you luvmy3, cheese quesadillas need to be questioned, esp on a kid's menu. They might have other "stuff" in them.