Married Advice

[LOVEDISNEYLAND]

What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone about married life? I guess mine would be, never forget to say you love each other before you leave, even if you're mad at eachother because you never know if it's going to be the last time you'll ever see each other again.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Don't think they'll change just because you married them. If they're a lazy slob now, they'll always be that way.

 

[freckles and boo]

You made a choice and a commitment. Honor it. Treat your spouse better than your best friend, your boss, your golf buddies, your neighbors, your parents, your children, and your dog. Give respect and expect to receive it in return.

 

[MichelleVW]

Don't think they'll change just because you married them. If they're a lazy slob now, they'll always be that way.

Yep....that's a good one...

 

[pepperw23]

Be willing to see your own faults as much as you see your spouses.

Oh and to steal from Darma and Greg

"Put it in a bubble...and blow it away"

 

[WDWBarb]

I have to second everything said so far...!!

My theory is that a marriage can only be judged in retrospect. In the end, if there were more good days than bad, it was a success.

So prepare for the bad days and cherish the good!!

 

[Bluestars]

Marriage is about balance. Sometimes you give, sometimes you take, and sometimes you meet in the middle. It's also a good thing to keep the lines of communication open. If something is bothering you, talk about it and figure out what needs to be done to change it.

 

[LOVEDISNEYLAND]

All great pieces of advice! My husband and I have been together for 12 years this past Nov 28th. He is the best thing to have ever happened to me. I just can't believe that after all this time and everything we've been through we can still make each other laugh like little children. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect because nothing ever is. Yes, we sometimes drive eachother insane but, I believe communication is really key. Be married is the hardest thing I have ever done but at the same time, it's the best choice I've ever made. I just can't imagine it any other way.

 

[EthansMom]

Don't think they'll change just because you married them. If they're a lazy slob now, they'll always be that way.

I agree with this advice... "Don't expect someone to change in big ways after marriage." I would include fidelity, handling of finances, and desire to have children as some of my top few NOT GOING TO CHANGE items. If you don't like how your SO approaches the big hitters before you're married, you shouldn't expect that they will change.

 

[mamacatnv]

Understand what emotional intimacy is - not sex, but true intimacy, the sharing of your lives. Practice it and live it every day.

Ladies, check out your FIL - that is what is in store for you down the road

Perspective spouses don't change their minds or anything else for that matter as the years go by.

All those things that your SO does now that you think are cute - will annoy the living bejeezes out of you 10 or 20 years down the road

 

[maidenfairy]

Discuss things before you say I do. Like, how many children, how will we raise them, how do we handle finances, what chores do you do, and what do I do? Also to those planning a wedding, remember the marriage is more important than the wedding.

 

[mamajoan]

"I am sorry". Important words to use and important words to accept.

Compromise... Respect ... Honor ..... Know how you and your partner view these terms and how you will utilize them in your marriage.

I also believe that God is an important aspect in marriage.
(This coming from a Catholic girl who is having difficulty with the Catholic church.. not her faith in God... but the church.)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Don't be afraid to take charge when you know you need to, whether it is with money, house repair, or raising the kids.

Letting things go that needs to be worked on, leads to more disrepair.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Getting married is easy. Staying married takes effort.
Love is an action, not just a word. Show love in all the things you do.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Are you really sure you want to do this????

 

[VirtuallyMe]

Marriage is not 50%/50%...

It is 100%/100%... if both people aren't willing to commit 100% than it does no good- you can't have a marriage if you only put in half...

 

[SwedishMeatball]

My Mom gave me some good advice. My father and her divorced when I was young, and she said to never throw out the threat of divorce casually in the heat of the moment. She said the first time it is really difficult, but then you find it just gets easier to say, and it really does permanent damage to the relationship.

 

[Barbossa]

Don't think they'll change just because you married them. If they're a lazy slob now, they'll always be that way.

Or...don't think they'll stay the same just because you married them. If they're a sex maniac now, they most likely won't be after marriage.

 

[Angelhalo]

Choose your battles!!!!!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone about married life? I guess mine would be, never forget to say you love each other before you leave, even if you're mad at eachother because you never know if it's going to be the last time you'll ever see each other again.

That is so true! A good friend of mine lost her husband to a massive heart attack four years ago. They rarely talked during the day while they were both at work, but that day he called her on his way to a meeting. They chatted and she told him she loved him. He died just a couple of hours later, before she could get to the hospital. So thank God she had said that, it really brings her comfort to this day.

I agree with all of this advice. And I will add: marry someone you can be friends with. Because every marriage hits those dry spots in the romance department and if you don't have a stong sense of friendship, there isn't much to go on. And don't go to bed mad. In the morning its so much better to wake up with the fight worked out, instead of still smouldering.