Man VS Wife

[The Mystery Machine]

Thanks to all for your feedback. It never crossed my mind that my wife might have some sort of "problem", I think counsling would be a good thing. The thing about my kids is that they DO want to work and help out but again my wife always shoots it down when mentioned and then an argument begins and I'm the type that hates arguments so I drop the issue. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about my wife either, she doesn't just sit home eating Bon-Bons, she takes care of everything in the house. I just need help with the finances and maybe now because of all your input I can approach this on a different angle.

You have to know that is not normal. She is damaging your children now. Stop her. Get family counseling, your house is very sick.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It sounds like keeping the grown kids from working is your wife's first line of defense. She seems to know when they start working, the next in line will be her.

 

[ICF]

I havent read all 7 pages, but.......

Your wife should be working. With your kids at 18 /21 it's not as if she really needs to be a SAHM at this point. If there are money problems, she needs to get off her butt and help out. This isnt 1950 anymore and she's not June Cleaver.

If the kids are in college, I dont have a problem with them not working during the school year....but they should during the summer. If they arent in school anymore, then they need to pay rent or move out on their own.

 

[Mkrop]

This may sound corny but could you get your wife (and kids) to organize a garage sale, not mega bucks but maybe just earning that small amount might help her see that she can accomplish something and contribute.

And I agree even if the house is spotless, is she doing everything internally to keep expenses at a bare minimum. Is she couponing, shopping sales, only shopping for absolute necessaries as well.

 

[Sparx]

You know, I checked out this thread due to a pet peeve of mine. The wording "man & wife" always irritates me because it implies that he (the man) is a person, while she (the wife) is simply defined through her role as his partner.

However, after reading the thread, I think the OP has is exactly right. His wife doesn't want to be treated as an equal partner in their marriage, she wants a free ride without taking on any responsibility. How anyone could put the health of someone they claim to love at risk like this boggles my mind. If it were my DH I'd have him home in bed until at least when the doctors said it was okay, if not quite a bit past. I would work two or three jobs (don't it before!) to make it happen if that what was needed. And you can bet the kids would be working, too. His family should be supporting the OP right now, not adding stress and risking his health.

This was bothering me too.