Make me feel better

[disneyatl]

Ok this is kind of a long story so I'll try to be as short as possible...

In Jan '03 my entire family (total of 14) decided we'd go to Disney in July 2004 for our first ever family vacation since my sibs and I have been married. This was my sister's idea and everyone was very excited about it.

The Cast
My family - DH , me , DD and friend of DD (both age 10)
Sister's family - BIL , sister , nephew (age 3) and niece (age 2)
Bro's family - bro , SIL , nephew (age 4) and new baby (2 mos)
My parents - dad and mom (haven't been to WDW since they took me and my siblings 27 years ago)

We plan for 18 months and me being the Disney lover I am began gathering all sorts of information for our trip. During the course of the 18 months, my SIL got pregnant and a month before my nephew was born (3 months before the trip), they decided they would not be able to go. What a bummer!!! Down to 10 people. BUT, when the discount codes for July came out several weeks ago, my SIL decided she would go with the two kids by herself (not exactly sure why she'd want to tackle that but we were glad she was coming) but for only part of the time. My brother couldn't go now because he'd waited to late to put in the vacation time at work and co-workers beat him to the punch. So now we go from 10 to 13 people!

Also during the planning period, my sister suprisingly became pregnant. She isn't due until September, therefore, will be 7 months pregnant during the trip. But this wasn't going to stop my sis who hasn't been to Disney since she was a kid. Three weeks ago, my sister informed me that they would only be staying part of the time as well and leaving when my SIL does. Since she won't be able to do much and since her kids are quite young, I was okay with this. Besides, no one wanted my SIL to be driving with two young kids by herself.

Well, this past weekend (2 weeks before we leave), my sister decides to drop the bomb on me and tell me they are not going! I couldn't believe it because we had been speaking about the trip all week and deciding on some last minute PS reservations just a week ago. Now we are down to 9!!! But wait, it gets worse. Because my sister isn't going, my brother doesn't want my SIL to go because of having to drive back by herself.

To boil it all down, it looks as if our big family vacation will consist of my family and my parents. What was supposed to be a great vacation first and a vacation for my parents with all their grandchildren has turned disasterous. To top it all off, my father has been having some medical tests since February because he has lost a lot of weight. Two weeks ago, he has a heart catherization to search for a blockage (thankfully, no blockage)!!! I guess that is one of the major reasons I'm so bummed about this. Something is causing my father's weight loss and I was bound and determined to have this vacation for him. I don't want to sound pessimistic but if something is wrong with him...I wanted him to be able to enjoy this vacation with his grandchildren as well as his children. We all said from the beginning this would probably be the only time we'd do a family vacation (gosh, I've been married 13 years and we've never done this).

Sorry this was such a long post. I'm just really bummed out about this entire situation. I told my husband that I'm not going to let this ruin my vacation and if it's just my parents and us then we'll have fun anyway!!! Help me feel better!

 

[mjbaby]

I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. It's certainly a lot to deal with at once.

Can you share your concerns relative to your father with your sis and SIL? Perhaps that haven't thought everything through the way you have and would be willing to reconsider. Also talk to your dad - he may not be up to the full shebang and doesn't want to hurt you knowing how you were looking forward to it all. You and your kids may be quite enough for him now, depending upon how he's feeling and what's going on.

In short, open those lines of communication (how Dr. Phil am I??) and get everyone talking frankly and without emotion.

For what it's worth, I was at Disney with my whole family last November while I was 7 months pregnant. It was, to say the least, exhausting. There were five kids and one of my sisters was pregnant as well, all of us adults plus our parents and one of our aunts. Certainly a nice time, but we didn't get much time all together because everyone was running every which way doing all the stuff they wanted. Perhaps you can reframe your trip into some other kind of family reunion that truly is family time shared together and enjoy your own agenda at Disney without worrying about lots of other people.

Hope you're feeling better soon. Hang in there - this, too, shall pass.

 

[HopperFan]

First I am sorry your family has dropped out of what sounds like a wonderful family trip. I would let it all go and leave them behind this trip..............hopefully when their children are older you can organize another. Your DD is old enough that she has bonded with your father and it is very important that she have a wonderful and special trip with him - and you too !

BUT, now what you have is a wonderful trip with your family and your parents. Your daughter (and her friend) will be lucky enough to not have to share the grandparents ! She will have wonderful memories for a lifetime ! Take lots of wonderful pictures with her and her friend, and make sure you get some super ones with her and her grandparents only! Ask her firend to take a few of your family and grandparents. Make it all about them ! Enjoy your parents, without the worry of the others.

Without all those young ones you can do so much more and experience more adventure ! I think it will be a super trip ! You have worked hard to plan, enjoy enjoy enjoy !

ps Will keep only positive thoughts for your Dad.

 

[pamole]

Hope this helps you to feel better:

1. You're going to be in the happiest place in the world in 10 days!!!! (I'm SO jealous!!)

2. It sounds like everyone has so much going on, maybe they just don't want an extended vacation (and presumably a large expense) to be ruined by pregnancy/new baby fatigue, etc.. How about agreeing to scale down the whole vaca so that everyone, including your brother, can do it (ie. long weekend)? I know it's not fair to you and your kids to shorten your vaca, but it definitely sounds like your Grand Gathering is important to you (heck, its why you planned the trip right?). So why not go for fewer days with more people, then save the extra $, and go back with your DH and kids at a later time.

3. I'm with the poster who suggested that you sit everyone down and talk this through. (Doesn't it seem like that's hardest to do with family?) Also, suggest that they log on to the DIS boards and hear from other people in similar situations -- there are plenty of women who do Disney pregnant, and most say they had a GREAT time. Besides, with all your family there to take the kids to the park, your sister and SIL could even take some time for themselves at the pool and probably get more rest than they do at home! ( Maybe you could even put some of that extra $ toward spa treatments for them).

4. If all else fails, go, have a GREAT time with whoever goes with you, and never say "never" -- you planned this trip 18 months ago, all the kids are still very young -- you've got plenty of time to do it again!!

Good luck and HAVE FUN! (Sorry for the long post.)

 

[disneyatl]

As I suspected, I knew you guys would make me feel better and I do. I have expressed my feeling to my parents and my brother but not yet my sister. Probably should speak with her more about it. Maybe as pamole suggested, we can take a shorter trip later. I sure can't cancel now and disappoint my daughter and her friend. We've been waiting too long for this. My parents have definitely said they are going so we'll enjoy the alone time with my parents and build memories to last a lifetime.

Thanks again for making me feel better!!!

 

[pamole]

Let us know how it all works out!

 

[HenDuck]

I would be frustrated too, BUT I would be glad that I was still going! (heehee, selfish me ).

Everytime we plan a trip, I have friends who say, "Oh I want to go with you!" We just keep planning it the way we like, and just assume that whoever does end up coming with us will either make their own plans or follow ours. Of course, none of them have come with us yet, but they keep saying they want to come.

I don't worry about the rest of them.

I hope that your dad stays well and that you all have a great trip!

 

[Anne MN]

If your Dad is loosing weight and had a cath- how is his stamina?

If he is slower moving and has a harder time walking-(not to mention the heat!)
you might want to consider renting him a scooter from off site for the 10 days.

My MIL is a heart patient and so is my DD (9) and she rides in a stroller and MIL has her own scooter now- but before when we have gone, she has rented from off-site and was glad!

Just a little advice from someone who knows how hot july is in Florida and how hard it is for people who have health issues-

if your dad doesn't think he will need one, remind him that on avererage a SLOW paced day at disney people walk an average of 10-15 miles!
my MIL was great- husbands grandfather- he would not use one if he was in cardiac arrest!!! he struggled along and made rest of group grumpy and crabby

just remind him if this is an option that it will give him freedom to move at his own pace and keep up with the group and make everyone in the group more relaxed

If you are thinking about it, go over to the disabilities board and look for just about any thread that has the words ECV in it- that is what the motorized scooters are called

 

[Mrs. Toaster]

I can definitely imagine how you feel! We have a big family trip (11 total), with all my family traveling from California, this August. When we first started planning this two years ago, my husband and I had to decide if we would still go, even if noone else made it. We decided yes! My Mom, who never travels anywhere alone, even said that she was going, even if noone else showed up!

Unbelievably, considering some of the flakier members of the family, everyone is still planning on making it! I know how disappointed you must be, because I would feel the same way, but just look at it as a different kind of vacation, and go and thoroughly enjoy yourself!!

 

[Mrs. Toaster]

I can definitely imagine how you feel! We have a big family trip (11 total), with all my family traveling from California, this August. When we first started planning this two years ago, my husband and I had to decide if we would still go, even if noone else made it. We decided yes! My Mom, who never travels anywhere alone, even said that she was going, even if noone else showed up!

Unbelievably, considering some of the flakier members of the family, everyone is still planning on making it! I know how disappointed you must be, because I would feel the same way, but just look at it as a different kind of vacation, and go and thoroughly enjoy yourself!!

 

[zurgswife]

Sorry for all the drop outs....I know what you mean about making sure dad gets the vacation just in case.....You will be very glad you did....

Maybe we will see you at WL looks like about 3 days of our trips over lap.....

Good Luck.....and have fun...

 

[robinb]

I don't think you should pressure the rest of your family to re-join you. They all have perfectly good reasons for dropping out. Rent your Dad a scooter (in advance, they are no longer available in the parks) and enjoy your vacation with your parents.