Lost my Mother yesterday

[mommasita]

So suddenly.

I was on my way to eat lunch with her when I got the call from her husband she was rushed by 911, unresponsive.. She was vomiting blood, after they worked 1hr to open get air airwaves going.

She had lacked oxygen for over 15 minutes, as if this wasnt enough, she was in septic shock, it was so bad, she was in a sever coma. After 2 CT scans showed severe brain damage, all of her organs shut down. Cardiac arrest, and more.

I had to make the decision to remove Life Support, knowing if the small chance (they were not optimistic) of her making it, she would be in a vegetative state forever.. She was 71, and I am in state of shock. My daughter is leaving today on her 2 week Graduation Europe trip, and my heart totally aches for her. We will do what we have to do, and hold back on a memorial service for when she returns for some closure.

I was told that I may possible have a few minutes or longer once LS was removed to hold her, but unfortunately it didn't turn out to be, I had nothing, she passed immediately. I realize she was already gone from the moment she lost oxygen at home, but I just wanted that.. This is pretty much a ramble, but this is how I am now. Just wanted to type something. I am glad she didn't suffer. She was spared that.

Thanks for listening.. I must make myself presentable for the airport, and pray my Daughter is safe and has fun on her trip.

 

[Christine]

Goodness mommasita, I'm so sorry to hear that. How awful for you. My mother is the same age and it's hard for me to imagine something like this happening out of nowhere. Did she have some sort of condition or illness that preceded this? I still consider 71 to be on the "young" side for something as sudden as this. I'm sure I have no good words to comfort you but know that I am thinking of you.

 

[mommasita]

Thank you Christine, she wasn't per say "healthy", but this really came out of nowhere. She had a stomach flu, and I was coming with soup. She had a hip replacement a few years back, and never fully recovered. NOthing to precede this. Doctors are blown away. I too consider it so young. I was talking with my husband, because nothing makes sense, and you tend to just keep going over things, as his poor mother had such a bad cancer experience, and there is no "good way", but I wish I had a chance to say I love you to her one last time.. We definitely didn't agree on her care by her husband and had so many differences, but I loved her, this I did. We never know our last conversations, and I really wanted to hold her until she took her last breath, even if it was after the life support. Eventually I will have to accept this, it is so raw now. I am always just telling myself she never suffered, and I am so happy for that. She deserved that, she had a hard life.

I am more worried for my daughter, it will be difficult for her to be away, I want her to have such great memories. She didn't want to go, I promised her we will hold just a small memorial in her Nana's honor, and for her to have some closure. Trying to be tough and not cry until her plane leaves.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

mommasita - I am so sorry to read of your mom's passing. Sending you many thoughts and prayers for God's peace and comfort. I can't imagine what you are going through. I never got to say goodbye to my mom either. I think when things happen so suddenly it is such a shock to us emotionally for sure.

I am sure it will be hard on your dd too and it was very thoughtful of you to include her in the upcoming memorial service.

Treasure all the wonderful memories that you have with her and keep them close to your heart.

Sending you my deepest sympathy.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Oh I am so sorry to read this! I don't know how you are feeling but know how'd I feel if it was my own mother.

I'm so sorry for your whole family. Your daughter's poor torn heart right now..gosh

I just sent up prayers for you all

Thinking of you my friend.

 

[mommasita]

Thank you everyone.
I am incredibly blessed with friends, the best ones in the world.. They never left me alone for a minute, either by text, in person. They have been there this entire weekend. My mother will be buried Friday, as she comes from Rawdon, Quebec, and we are expecting some storms before that.

My daughter is presently iin Spain, and seems to be having a great time already, and I could not be happier..

Again, I thank you

 

[Jeniferdwn]

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers so that you may possibly get some peace at some point. I also pray that your daughter has a safe and fun trip and makes many memories. Message me if you need to vent.

 

[Haimia]

My mom passed on our DD#2 graduation party day. She was to come to the party, but never showed. My brother/family went to check on her and found her in her bed from the night before, gone. My sister/family left the party soon after. Then, near the end of the party, we told my DD#2. It was hard to get through the rest of the party, but we did, along with several more graduation parties that weekend. We were all available to bury mom the following Thursday. After watching my dad go slowly, due to cancer; it was nice knowing my mom went without knowing it was coming. Just never got that last goodbye, either. Prayers/thoughts with you!

 

[mommasita]

Thank you everyone for the kind words, thoughts and prayers.

Haimia, that must have been so hard indeed. Sorry you and your family had to go through that

My daughter seems to be having a great time, pictures are beautiful!

My boss has been fabulous. We have 5 days bereavement, and when I called she was away on business but had left a message saying to tell me not to thinking of coming in until the 29th, so at least I have this time. Days seem to pass in a blur, the nights are the worst, sleep doesn't come very easily, if at all.

We are expecting some nasty weather, and burying in Rawdon isn't easy, I wish her husband didn't want this delay, but we disagree on many things.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Mommasita, I'm very sorry for your loss. You are a great source of support for us here, and I hope we can help you as you heal.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Oh goodness, my heart aches for you...and your daughter who is so far from home. I'm sure she is surrounded by people who care so deeply for her, that she will be in good hands until you can be with her again. Losing a parent at such a young age is always hard to process because we just assume we have so much time with our loved ones. I lost my dad at 62, and I think about him every day even 5 years after his death.

Remember all of the good memories, and not her last moments, because that will help with the grieving process. (((hugs))))

 

[Shanti]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Hessie628]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My mom passed from cardiac arrest the beginning of December at the age of 69. She was undergoing chemotherapy for Breast Cancer, but was expected to beat it as she was only stage 2 , had a mastectomy and the cancer was contained to the breast area.

I know how gut wrenching and shocking it is to lose a parent who is so "young" and without warning. It is truly horrible and not many people can fully understand the pain. Take it day by day and reach out to your friends whenever you need it. You can message me if you want to. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Jessica

 

[danny1649]

So sorry to hear this , you will be in Belinda's and my prayers.

 

[Jcricket Fan]

I wanted to add my prayers for you and your family. I am so very sorry for the sudden loss of your mother.
Peace to you.
Colleen

 

[mommasita]

Thank you everyone. I wanted to update this, not a good update. Wednesday evening my doorbell rang and it was the Police. I completely lost it, with a child overseas, the time difference, I was certain it was her, Thankfully it wasn't, but my step-father had a heart attack, he was driving, pulled over and collapsed on the side of the road. I had to postpone my Mother's funeral, and will have a double one for them both on Monday. I had to to go to the Police station, get his car keys, then to the hospital to identify him, notify his family. I believe he died of a broken heart, Mum came for him. I am not even sure who I am, what I think anymore.

I have not told my daughter, she is home on Friday, I will collect her at the airport, hug her tight, and let her know her Poppa passed once we are home. We found both wills, and I am executor to both, and the sole heir. SO much to do.

I am so thankful for a job that is understanding, my boss called my yesterday from her cell, and told me to call her Friday and let her know when I am ready, and I think I will try to go back right away. My friends think I should take time, they think I am in shock, haven't had time to deal with pain. If you can think of my family Monday, it won't be easy to have this double funeral.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thank you everyone. I wanted to update this, not a good update. Wednesday evening my doorbell rang and it was the Police. I completely lost it, with a child overseas, the time difference, I was certain it was her, Thankfully it wasn't, but my step-father had a heart attack, he was driving, pulled over and collapsed on the side of the road. I had to postpone my Mother's funeral, and will have a double one for them both on Monday. I had to to go to the Police station, get his car keys, then to the hospital to identify him, notify his family. I believe he died of a broken heart, Mum came for him. I am not even sure who I am, what I think anymore.

I have not told my daughter, she is home on Friday, I will collect her at the airport, hug her tight, and let her know her Poppa passed once we are home. We found both wills, and I am executor to both, and the sole heir. SO much to do.

I am so thankful for a job that is understanding, my boss called my yesterday from her cell, and told me to call her Friday and let her know when I am ready, and I think I will try to go back right away. My friends think I should take time, they think I am in shock, haven't had time to deal with pain. If you can think of my family Monday, it won't be easy to have this double funeral.

Oh my goodness!! I am so so sorry to read this. I wish I could do something for you and your family. I can't even begin to imagine the pain and stress of everything. Please know I'm thinking of you all and holding you up in my prayers.

 

[lilkimmyk]

I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling. I am so sorry for you and your family. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Haimia]

So, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you on Monday and in the future for peace.

 

[lanejudy]

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today.