Looking for ways to help a friend

[aprilvaca04]

I am posting here because I know you guys always have creative ideas and kind thoughts. Very close family friends of ours are going through a really tough time. The husband/dad just paased away suddenly. He was young and left behind 3 children, 2 teens and a tweener We are all beside ourselves and my mind is just mush. I am looking for any thoughts or ideas of ways we can help. They have tons of food coming into their home which has been an awesome relief for the mom so I am looking for other ideas and inspiration. Any thoughts would be kindly appreciated

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Thank you cards and you volunteering some of your time to help with those.

Help with household chores will be welcomed later on when the numbness wears off and the grief hits full on. It's one thing to say "call when you need me" and another to knock on the door and say "I am here, give me something to do". But only you know which they would prefer.

 

[ddavis860]

I'm with AWM on this one, only you know if they are knock on the door friends, or wait till they call friends.

One of my friends was widowed very young, before I knew her, and she told me the hardest thing was all the "couple" friends felt really uncomfortable, and seemed to disappear after the funeral, and now are just xmas card friends. She told me how sad and alone she felt because after the intital time, people got back in their lives, and kind of forgot, but she was dealing every day with kids, and house, and life alone. She didn't resent them, just was telling me her side, but it really struck a cord...ykwim?

So, only you know how close you guys are, but if you are close, I kind of think it's the long haul friends, who are calling next month, and the month after that are going to be the most helpful for her and her kids. Just MHO.

 

[Lisa]

With fall here and winter coming, perhaps someone can do a chart of outside chores that need to be done and people can sign up to rake and remove leaves, or snowblow.

If the kids are involved with after school activites, perhaps other parents can bring the children home, leaving the Mom free to run errands, go grocery shopping, or prepare dinner in peace.

 

[Juliegirl1]

Another thing you might do is have friends/family write a little something on paper about the dad - ask if they might have any pictures of him to share and put it all together in an album for them. My mom died last summer and one of the ladies at her work did this for me with nice things written about my mom from a lot of people that I didn't know. It really meant a lot and it would probably be a nice keepsake for the kids to know what other people thought about their dad.

It's also the holidays and special days that are difficult - and people do seem to disappear after a few weeks - they don't really know what to do or how to act when sometimes all you need is a friend to talk to.

 

[TinkerBean]

There is a great book out there called The Next Place...It was given to me after I lost my mom. It's a poem that is so touching, it reaches in and hugs your soul. Appropriate for the kids too (I actually think it's meant as a kids book).

You are a good friend to want to help her...

 

[aprilvaca04]

Great ideas everyone. Thanks so much. I knew the road ahead of them was going to be a long one, I guess I just neer imageined how hard it is to watch a friend grieve and fell so helpless while doing it