Looking for a new activity for 11y/o girl

[Princess Dot]

I was just thinking that maybe you folks here would have some ideas about a new extra activity for my DD.

It seems so many things are activities that you should start when you are much younger, like dance, gymnastics, etc. that I am having trouble trying to think of something for her to start at this age where she won't feel out of place.

She took ballet at 4 and really didn't like it, she took flute when she was 9 and couldn't stand it!, she has been playing basketball and softball for the past 2 years and she has told me she does not want to play softball this spring after basketball is over. She does enjoy basketball (and she is really really tall!) but she is not a "great" player. I do want to encourage her to continue it, but I was hoping to find something else for her to do that would give her pleasure and a feeling of accomplishment.

When I was young I skated, played music and took dancing but I started all of them when I was around 6 or 7. Music was my real talent, and I used to enter lots of competitions and won trophies and awards and it was so satisfying. I might not have been great at everything I did, but the feeling of accomplishment I got from music as well as the enjoyment was a big part of my youth and helped my self esteem in general.

I really want my daughter to have the same thing, but I feel like I can't seem to figure out what it is she wants to do! I don't even recall saying I wanted to play music, but my parents just signed me up and I ended up sticking with it and I turned out to be pretty good at it.

With my DD it seems nothing has really stood out as something she is really good at.

Now she is an honor student and has always done very well in school. But I was thinking more along the lines of extra curricular activities.

She does love to sing, and I have to admit she is pretty good. Not great, but definitely one of the better singers in her school. She is always chosen for a solo when they have concerts, she has been in chorus for the past few years and I have to say she really does love to sing.

But what do you do with a love for singing? She is in chorus at school. She tried out for the school musical and was picked for the chorus. She does not want to sing in the church choir.
I was thinking about voice lessons, but are those only for kids that are truly really really good singers? I don't want to set her up for disappointment.

I think I have been watching too much American Idol and seeing these poor delusional people that think they can sing, but are just awful. I always think, "Where are their families? Hasn't anyone broken it to them that they really can't sing?"

Well, thanks for listening. But do you all have any ideas about something she could start that would be good for her self esteem as well as fun?
Thanks for any thoughts!

 

[pixiepower1971]

What about martial arts?

 

[Princess Dot]

That's a good idea! Actually she did mention that she might want to try that.

See that's why I posted! I've always gotten great input from the folks here on the DIS!

 

[taximomfor4]

I was thinking marial arts too!

My dd started Irish Dance at 11. IF the kid wants to compete, it is by level AND age...so my dd didn't compete against beginner 6 yr olds, she competed against other beginner 11 yr olds. Oh, and not too many start at that age so she got medals at most of her beginner year competitions. Our school doesn't require competitions, so my niece (also a late starter) doesn't compete at all.

 

[bananiem]

I'm going to think outside the box and say something like fencing or archery.

 

[LindaR]

I would suggest martial arts also. DD17 was 9 when she started Tae Kwon Do. She had ballet 2 times a week and TKD 2 times a week. After a year she decided to give up ballet and take more TKD classes!

Martial arts is not a group thing (though you train with others), it is more of an individual type sport. You learn and test at your own pace. It's also a great self-confidence booster....very empowering for young ladies. Most places will let you sit in on a class or two to observe. If you go that route, you want to check out the differences between the martial arts as well. Talk to parents of kids in those classes as well as the kids.

 

[LittleMissMickey]

I coach a Destination Imagination team. It is a great program for kids to use creative problem solving, all academic areas, creativity, the arts, and lots of drama and teamwork!!! We have so much fun!! Otherwise, she is at an age where other sports are becoming more available to her, such as volleyball, golf, tennis, and cheerleading (competition cheer perhaps?). I did all of these activities at some point in time, so let me know if you have any questions!

Ashley

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that martial arts would be a good thing and is especially important for a girl. There are all different types, some more self defense, others concentrate on other things, so do your research.

If she enjoys singing I think that voice lessons are a good idea. It will help her develop her potential, whatever that might be. Also, how about a community chorus? Or a drama club? Drama would be good for a singer.

Some kids are focused on one sport/activity and really do well in that one or 2 things. My 12yo is like that and has been playing baseball since he was 4 and basketball since he was 6 and is pretty good at them, especially baseball. But my 15yo has never really found something that he likes enough to stick with. He's been taking guitar, which might be something for your DD to consider. He's quitting that, though, and wants to take keyboard. As long as he sticks with something for a period of time (season when we're talking a sport, a year minimum for the guitar, etc) I'm ok with him quitting and trying something else. Childhood is a good time to try lots of different things.

 

[rascalmom]

Voice lessons are not just for the really, really talented singers. If she likes this, it might be something for her to try. Both my dd's have taken voice & have gotten a lot from the lessons. It has built their confidence & has helped them conquer stage fright. That translates to useful skills in handling yourself in public situations of all kinds - giving a speech, going on an interview, etc. Their interest in singing has grown to include drama & theatre work.

What about golf? Dance & skating are often awkward for taller girls (I was one), especially when undertaken at an older age. Tennis would be another one - as they move into middle school age, her school would probably have teams or other opportunites with both of these sports.

 

[dizagain]

Martial Arts was coming to mind here...

How about community theatre or acting classes? Both of my DD's simply LOVE it. Often there are choices for classes...dance (not pressure-filled-specifically for kids with no experience), vocal, drama, etc. Theatre is also a great way to find a "place" for DD to "belong" as she heads into middle school, high school, etc. It always helps to have a built-in "team" to start off with. Also voice lessons might be a good idea as there are often several different choirs to be a participate in in m.s. and h.s.

 

[Cinderella2004]

How about horse back riding??? That's a great hobby that can be kept on through adulthood as well....

Just another idea for ya

 

[tkd lisa]

Martial arts would be very appropriate at her age.

I'd also suggest girl scouts. I had nearly my entire troop join as cadettes (7-9th grade), and they were so much more into it than the girls who had been in scouting all their life. Many of the younger troops were asking to do things with my girls, because it was obvious they wanted to be there helping the younger girls.

 

[Christine]

Tae Kwon Do (for the physical activity) and Drama for the "artist" part of her.

Neither of my kids have had a passion for musical instrumetns (though DS has stuck with piano), or any sports.

They both enjoy Tae Kwon Do and my DD started drama and 9 and still loves it at 14. My DS really enjoyed drama to but he is not a "social" as DD and had real anxiety issues with the actual performances--but otherwise he LOVED the classes.

Eleven years old is a perfect age to start both of these.

 

[luvflorida]

It seems so many things are activities that you should start when you are much younger, like dance, gymnastics, etc. that I am having trouble trying to think of something for her to start at this age where she won't feel out of place.

Don't write off certain activities because you think they should be started at a younger age. You mentioned that she took Ballet at the age of four and didn't like it, but maybe now that she's older, she'd like to try it again.

When my oldest daughter was three years old, she showed an interest in dance, especially Ballet, so I couldn't wait to sign her up for lessons. She was so small that the school didn't have Ballet shoes small enough to fit her and they had to be ordered. The first day of classes arrived and daughter was beside herself with excitement. She went into the class, dressed up adorably in her little tights, leotard, and Ballet slippers. I stayed in an outer room, and I could hear everything going on in the class. She was the smallest and youngest girl in the class and I was thinking to myself how nice it was that she was so interested in something at such a young age.

Well, after only a few minutes I heard the instructor say to someone in the class, "No, that's not what the bar is for. We don't swing from it." I chuckled at what I heard, but then I froze at the next thing I heard her say. "Now, Megan, you don't see anyone else rolling around on the floor, do you?" I briefly wondered whether or not there could be another Megan in the class, when I heard the instructor ask, "Okay, who does this little slipper belong to?" OMG! It was MY child she was talking to!

The class lasted thirty minutes and it was the longest thirty minutes of my life. When the class was over, my daughter came out and loudly said, "I don't think I want to come back here." I'm sure the instructor was hoping she wouldn't ever come back! Anyway, that was the first and LAST Ballet class for a long time! Daughter decided she really just wanted to dress like a Ballerina, not actually dance like one, and I was fine with that!

Fast forward to college, and daughter decided to take up Ballet again. She took classes all throughout college and enjoyed them tremendously. It's not her passion in life, but my point is that interests can change at different ages.

My youngest daughter didn't become interested in dance until the age of 13, and now, at 15, she dances competitively. She never put on a Ballet shoe until the age of 13, and didn't like it at all, but had to take Ballet as part of the competition team. Now, she loves Ballet and has even become very good on Pointe. Her love however, is hip hop, but she also enjoys jazz, lyrical and modern dance.

You mention that your daughter is a very good singer. Have you thought about community theatre for her? I bet she'd be very good in musicals. Also, if she would like voice lessons, that might be something to pursue.

 

[PolyHereWeCome]

You've gotten some good suggestions. What about art classes (sculpting, painting, drawing, cartooning, or crafts)? Or photography -- She could get into that and then contribute to her school's newspaper or yearbook?

 

[LindaR]

I'd like to support what another poster said. Don't give up on ballet or any other activity that she's tried in the past or that YOU think she's too old to start now.

As I said, my daughter gave up ballet for martial arts. Last summer she decided to take ballet again. She was a 16 year old girl in a class of mostly 9 year olds! There was another teen in the class with her. She really loves ballet and quickly got over the humiliation of 9 year olds "helping" her with certain moves!

Sometimes they don't like certain things at a certain age, but later they love it!

 

[Barb D]

I haven't read the rest of the responses...

but my (very tall) DD12 loves volleyball. Height is definitely an advantage there.

And she's in a children's chorus outside of school, which she loves. The quality of music is incredible -- much better than the school chorus.

 

[Princess Dot]

Well, after only a few minutes I heard the instructor say to someone in the class, "No, that's not what the bar is for. We don't swing from it."

OMG! That is too funny because that was my daughter! All the other girls were nicely following the teacher doing their little dance moves and here was my girl hanging from the barre! She kept saying "I'm so tired!" and was hanging and swinging from the barre the whole class. Yikes!

She does love music and dance, but she is such a big tall girl (not fat, but she is not a small child!) I am not sure that ballet is her thing.

I think I will look into martial arts. I have also contacted a local vocal coach to see about lessons.

I took Irish dance lessons when I was little and I have always considered it for my kids but never signed them up. I might look into that too.

I agree that childhood is the time to experiment with all different things. I guess I was just starting to feel like time is passing by so quickly and she has not found "her thing" yet.

I am glad to hear from others about things you can learn when you are a bit older. I appreciate your input. Thanks!!!

 

[Princess Dot]

I haven't read the rest of the responses...

but my (very tall) DD12 loves volleyball. Height is definitely an advantage there.

And she's in a children's chorus outside of school, which she loves. The quality of music is incredible -- much better than the school chorus.

Volleyball is another thing she mentioned and it seems it is something they are just starting at this age. She also talks about field hockey, another sport I know nothing about! I was never the "sporty" type and I am always glad to see her interested in any kind of sport, even if she is not an allstar athlete.

Thanks again for the advice and suggestions!

 

[DVCLiz]

Princess Dot, my daughter is 12 (just turned 12 last month) and a new franchise has opened in my town called Young Chef's Academy. It's cooking classes for children. My daughter LOVES it - just started last week!!!! It's an advantage to be a little older, I think, because older children can handle the logistics of getting something in and out of an oven more easily than younger kids can. If you don't have this, see if a local bakery or cooking-related business ever offers anything for kids. I highly recommend it!!!