Long Story..........

[Boston5602]

ok so very close friends of mine are leaving for WDW next weekend . They have had the trip planned since last winter. They have been a couple for almost 2 years and have been living together for 6 months. They have a home that they now have one of the mothers live there with them and they have two other bedrooms for the kids ( from a previous relationship ) one each for the boy 15 ,and the girl 14. The kids live full time with their mom who lives less than a mile away, but spend alot of time at my friends house .

All this time my friends worked hard to slowly bring themselves together as a family. I should say that the 14 y/o girl is straight and the 15 y/o boy is gay.
His mothers brother is also gay. The mother says she should have known her kid would be gay.

Well now the week before the daughter says she doesn't want to go to WDW because she doesn't feel comfortable going on the trip.

Ok so maybe , she is 14 and all that . Other friends are saying well she's the only girl and only staright one so she might be uncomfortable , and maybe so . BUT now she is asking her brother to stay home, says to me its not about her comfort level .

I know if one of my kids came to me and said they weren't coming to Disney
because of a boyfriend going I would be so upset but after living as a family and then telling me . We live in Mass where its legal to get married and they are engaged looking for a date ( there was a car accident the kids father was in so there is/was some recovery issues ).

I just found this out and I know I'm just all over the place and I guess I'm looking to just get this out but also ask what you all think?

Thanks for letting me rant on.

 

[momsgoofy]

Hey! Sounds like you could use one of these...

Wow! I think it's great of you to be very concerned for the family...that is what friends do, right? I wish I had one of these that could set it all right for them, but I don't. I don't know...the girl may really have some comfort issues with her dad and they may be...think they probably are to some degree...real feelings.

Not sure how old she was when her dad came out, but since he's been in this relationship for 2 years, I'm guessing she was at most 12, but maybe even younger. Those are some rough years for kids with all those pre-teen/teen things that are going on, but to (I'm guessing she knows why her parents divorced...the cheating mom issue) have that happen and then to learn her dad is gay...wow, that is a lot to handle! Plus, peers can be so cruel at that age!! And as for asking her brother to stay home...well, you're right...it's not just a comfort issue, but for her, maybe a not being alone issue...maybe she feels pretty abandoned by her parents...(just thinking out loud here.)

I think it's great that your friends are making places in their home for their children...heck, my ex doesn't even have a sofa for DS to sleep on. It sounds like some family therapy might be in order especially since they are wanting to get married. It doesn't matter straight or gay, when you have step-families, there are times when it's hard for everyone, but usually it's worse on the kids. DS's step dad gets pretty strict sometimes and I have to be very careful how I proceed with being the one in the middle, but that is the dynamics for us.

I don't know if you've talked with the friends directly about this, or do they even know the daughter doesn't want to go? It might be worth following up on it with whomever knows.

I hope it all works out! And here's another one...

 

[bubie2.5]

I agree with momsgoofy. She's in less that three years been trough a divorce and her father coming out. But father and daughter must feel devastated. A little patience, lots of love and some therapy will do both of them good.

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

Heartbreaking for all (even the clueless dumb a** mom who I haveta believe has little understanding of the terrible pain she's causing ) -- especially the kids.

 

[mama03]

I wanted to start off saying I hope everything works out and I know they will have a magical time. I am now 38, but still remember my teenage years and the hell I put my parents through. The daughter is going through those teenage years when all she cares about is how people perceive her, for example, " Do they think Im pretty, smart, nice, etc.). She probably would love to go to Disney, but doesnt want to feel people are judging her or her family. Maybe they could come to some kind of agreement not to show too much affection toward one another while in public, etc. I realize this is a way to keep up the stigma that something is wrong about being gay. When clearly its a relationship just like any other. I am just letting you know what the daughter might be going thru. Well dont know if I helped, just some insight to what a teenage girl might be thinking.

 

[Viki]

Gosh, I know I embarrass my teens on a regular basis - thank goodness they are such terrific people!

I hope this trip works out for your friends.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Gosh, I know I embarrass my teens on a regular basis - thank goodness they are such terrific people!

I hope this trip works out for your friends.

That's a parent's job.
I guess we were lucky, kid's friends thought we were cool.