long distance relationships???

[worm761]

ok. so i haven't dated in a really really long time. i recently got in contact with an old friend from high school. we talk on the phone almost every day and he is going to come visit me. we have discussed starting a relationship. we really like each other and after getting to know each other again have found that we have alot of things in common. i cannot wait until he comes to see me. here is my problem though~ i live in florida and he lives in ohio! can we really make this work? i know that eventually one of us will have to relocate. but in the meantime?

have you done this? did it work? why or why not? any advice, positive or negative, is welcome and appreciated. thank you.

 

[disneynutt1225]

It could work. It's not going to be easy. DFi and I have been together almost 9 years. In the beginning he was going to college in SC and I lived in NY. Now we live together in NJ and we couldn't be happier. Those early years let us have a strong foundation in communcation, building trust, and being friends more than anything else for a while. He's my best friend as well as my soulmate, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

 

[Poohnatic]

My DH and I were a long distance couple. He was in Chicago and I was in Maryland. We had horrendous long distance phone bills, but this was in the days before cell phone plans.

We knew each other for 8 years before we began dating. Long distance forced us to talk about a lot of stuff that we never would have if we were together. Views on kids, living arrangements, work. It was probably the best thing.

After about 9 months of the long distance thing, he moved to Maryland. It made sense, I owned a house and he was renting an apartment.

Here we are, 11 years later. It does work! One big thing in your favor is that you have a history prior to dating-that counts for a lot.

Suzanne

 

[pfishgirl]

I know of several people who were strangers and met on line, got married and have kids now.. One couple were even east coast and west coast and they moved to the middle coast.. so that they were equally away from both families the same distance

 

[epcotfan]

If you have a history prior to the long distance thing, it may work but be prepared for a lot of frustration that the seperation can cause. You also might want to set a timeline for yourself to see if it is worth the continued effort or not.

 

[mickeyboat]

DH and I started "going together" the first day of school in 9th grade. I moved 800 miles away at the end of the year. We kept in touch for a year and then realized we could never make it work. At graduation I went back to visit my old friends, and even though he had a girlfried, we went out on a couple of dates.

We started communicating again, and over Spring Break, he came down to visit. We wrote a lot of letters and spent a fortune on long distance phone calls. Some of my most treasured posessions are the letters he wrote to me. But I don't think I would ever want my kids to read them. We will have a letter burning party someday. I spent two summers living with his parents and working where he lived. We were engaged after my sophomore year (in front of Cinderella's Castle), and married two years after that. We have been married for almost 14 years.

Long-distance relationships are hard. It helps to have some sort of "in person" relationship to start so there is some kind of foundation to build upon. You also have to have an incredible amount of trust. You have to make sure to visit one another as much as possible to know what every day life will be like with that person.

But long-distance relatioships are a lot different now, especially with the internet. There are a lot more opportunities to communicate with one another.

Good luck.

Denae

 

[Disneyglobegirl]

Yes it can work if both people want it. My DH and I started out as a long distance relationship. Me in the midwest and him on the west coast. Lots of long distance calls and flights to see each other. We did that for about 14 months then I moved to the west coast and after a year we got married. He wanted to get married sooner but I wanted that year together to make sure that we were going to be ok. LOL I guess he knew best. We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary

 

[lovemygoofy]

I had a long distance realtionship with my Matt for a year before I moved to be with him. (And personally still feels like a long distance relationship,lol). It is extremely hard. You have to be able to communicate in a clear, concise manner or learn how. Just like anthing else your message can be interpreted in a completly different manner than you intend. I would reccomend a good long distance plan and a credit card with good rewards. Also make sure this is someone you can trust and never have to wonder what they are doing because at someone else mentioned, the days apart outweigh the days together and you don't want to be up wondering what he is doing.

Good luck it really can work.

 

[Nite0wl71]

I have never been in a long distance relationship but my brother has. He was in high scool and he met a cousin of one of his friends. She was staying for the summer so they started dating. She was from Montreal Canada.

They mostly talked on the phone but after they got out of school she visited her cousins more. After about 5 years my brother asked her to marry him and she said yes. They got married in Canada and it took her about 9 months to move here. They had to go through immigration. He lived in Chicago and she lived in Montreal.

Now they have 4 kids, live in Skokie and have been married for 16 years.

 

[bananiem]

DH and I lived in 2 separate states before we got married. When there's a distance you'll talk about anything and everything just to keep their voice on the other end of the phone. I feel I knew him better than if we had lived in the same town and just sat around watching movies all the time.
Dh and I were already head over heels before he moved to another state though. If we'd had to start out that way I don't know if it would have ended the same way.
Good luck!

 

[worm761]

thanks for the thoughts, advice and stories. we are both in our 30's. we went to high school together back in the early 90's and then life sort of got in the way. he joined the army and went off to see the world. i left town to go to college. we haven't seen each other in 12 years. when i called him for the first time we ended up talking for four hours. and he called me the next day. that was over a month ago and we talk every day. he is just the sweetest guy! we have talked about just about everything. we have the same views on most major things in life, ie religion, family, marraige. i don't know. i guess i just want to know that this thing can work if we decide to persue it.

 

[Ava83]

DH and I were long distance, I was in Chicago and he in South Bend (not as far as others...but still) We saw each other for a 1 1/2 years every weekend (we would try not to sometime, but come Sat... ) We made it work cause we wanted to, it can be hard, but the communication skills you get (talking so much) is great.