Life's Lessons Learned at Chick Fil A

[alabamaalan]

It’s amazing what you can do if you have to do it.

My wife is in New York for three weeks, leaving me in the role of befuddled dad with 8 and 5 year old daughters.

To give you an idea of what she expected from me, she asked one or two mothers to check in from time to time and warned the teachers that if the girls’ hair looked ridiculous, it was not her fault.

Well, it’s not my fault that our school does not allow hats in the building!

Surprisingly, she’s been gone for a week and a half and the house is still standing, the dishes, clothes, and kids are occasionally washed, the pets are still alive (she did relocate the plants to foster homes for their own safety, however) and my kids’ diets have not undergone drastic changes.

Hey, no one is more shocked than I am, but that is my point. Since I do not have an excuse to be helpless dad I’m coping much better than I expected. One good example is last night’s visit to Chick-Fil-A:

Monday and Tuesday nights are fairly homework intensive, so I thought the girls would want to get out a bit on Wednesday night, and since they are not currently in our Wed. night church activities, I told them we would go to Chick-Fil-A (their favorite place to go out) for supper.

Unfortunately a lot of little things crept in that would normally annoy me individually. Altogether, they would have added into a night where I would be an absolute pain to be around.

1. My oldest daughter had forgotten most of her homework at school Monday night, putting her far behind for Tuesday night’s homework and it spilled into Wed.
2. Each day she had an opportunity to do homework at a friend’s house, or after school care before she came home but she did not due to all of the other distracting things in an eight year old girl’s life – so she still had a lot to do Wed. night
3. The food was not as good as normal. (This one was not a big issue, but could add to the pile)
4. Some kids in the playground area were forcing my girls to be separated, including not allowing my oldest to talk to my youngest (this was not a safety issue, just a bullying one) My oldest came out frustrated once, and then completely sobbing the second time. I made both girls stay with me until the other kids left
5. I got them both ice creams. My youngest knocked her bowl upside down into the floor after eating only one or two bites. My oldest had a cone, but uses a spoon to eat the ice cream out of it once it is all in the cone only. I accidentally threw the spoon away while clearing the table before she got to that point. Since the youngest was crying loudly, I told the oldest to throw the remainder away as we left. At that point, it was definitely time to go.
6. I had part of the Sunday School lesson I am teaching this week to look over while they played. The text is taken from one of my least favorite books of the Bible, and I have some issues with the content.

 

[alabamaalan]

I know that if my wife had been present, I would have felt freer to allow myself to be aggravated and upset at any of these circumstances. Instead, I firmly believe that I had to be the anchor and used reserves that I did not know existed. That doesn’t mean that all of these things did not bother me greatly, but instead I was allowed to focus on other circumstances as each presented itself:

1. My daughter is an excellent student. She is not in the habit of leaving supplies at school and she works diligently at her homework without complaint.
2. Some of the distractions she had in after school care caused her to mope and she wouldn’t have done much anyway. I was grateful that the “Mom of the day” could see that and allowed her to do things to help out, keeping her busy and feeling productive. In fact, I am grateful for the small class size and family atmosphere of our school and that I am able to send her to the school of our choice.
3. I have the time and resources to eat out with my girls occasionally without worrying about it breaking my budget
4. The bullying kids only served to remind me of how polite and considerate most of their friends are. I am glad that my girls are fortunate enough to have many friends who they play well with.
5. We have ice cream at home in small individual cups, reminding me that I am able to provide special treats for my girls. These cups were leftovers from the oldest daughter’s recent birthday party, and that reminds me of how nice a time we had at it.
6. As I finished my notes for the lesson, I picked up a second book that I had checked out from the library. It is a Christian apologetics work written at a easily readable level. Although I was only able to read the first chapter or so, I could see that it will address most of the issues I was just grappling with. I do not consider that coincidence at all.

The incredible thing is that the positives did not enter my mind in retrospect but occurred to me as I thought of the negatives. I appreciate most of all, the work of the Spirit in helping me to be more patient with the girls, and them with me and each other, while their mother is out. I also am very grateful that this is a very unusual event for us, since I am able to keep regular hours without travel and shift work and we do have so much time as a family together.

Are we anxious for Mama to return home? You bet! But I have more confidence in myself and our family if she is unavailable too.

Does it mean that I realize I can control my temper better than I thought, and maybe I will not relax control of it so much when I know she is back and I can rely on her to be the stable one? Well, I may not want to go quite that far. After all, I don’t want her to get too complacent.

Still, there is nothing like a potentially hectic night at Chick-Fil-A to help you take stock of the good things you have and actually leave you feeling better about it than you normally would. I guess attitude really does make a difference……

 

[hugsquared]

Good for you. The first post made me laugh. The second put a warm smile on my heart. God bless you for being such a great daddy and husband. Hope the rest of your time is blissful.

 

[helenabear]

Alan, I was actually smiling as I read the post. Okay the first one tugged at my heart when I heard the girls were brought to tears. Knowing, though, how well you handled yourself... well that made me smile. You are a good dad and good husband... I'm sure all your girls know how blessed they are to have you

 

[kimwim8]

BRAVO!!!!!

You are a great guy & a wonderful dad! Your girls are lucky to have you (including your wife)!!

Thanks so much for sharing!

 

[kasar]

Welcome to my world!

Great going, Dad!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

That's all. They are lucky to have a great dad!

 

[disykat]

There are so many overwhelming times as a parent - don't you just love it when you realize you're doing a pretty darn good job?

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Sounds like you are coping despite the 'difficulties'. Of course before your wife gets back there is always Merry Maids!
Btw, did you do the East Chase Chick fil A or eastern bypass? I have taken my sister's kid to the East Chase one before and they loved it! Of course that meant I needed to stay in there with them. They didn't get the play equipment up in time for my kids to really enjoy it. (which could've been a good thing!)
Kim

 

[mickeyboat]

OMG! From a mother who was away from her family only for a week, you have summarized exactly what I have been thinking about DH's alone time with the house, the kids and the pets. Although he did kill one houseplant while I was away, he did beautifully with everything else. He had a blast with the kids, and was really able to relax and enjoy being a father. He has reconnected with the girls and his confidence in his parenting skills is at an all-time high. The house was spotless when I got home, which he knows I really appreciated, and he has continued to help in a more diligent manner since I have been home.

All-in-all my family missed me, but I think it was a great experience for all of us for me to be away. It has translated into a much happier home since my return.

Bravo to you, dad!

Denae

 

[phyllis1966]

I was smiling the whole time I was reading your posts...I always enjoy hearing about Dads who really love being Dads!

 

[alabamaalan]

The house was spotless when I got home, which he knows I really appreciated, and he has continued to help in a more diligent manner since I have been home.

Okay, now that's just crazy talk!!!

 

[firstmickey]

Wow.....you're so healthy!




I knew you would do fine. You are a good husband and father!

 

[mickeyboat]

Okay, now that's just crazy talk!!!

I know! I thought so too. He had never in his life cleaned a bathroom - he cleaned two last week. He did all the laundry, including the shees. He mowed the lawn and cleaned out the litter box! It was an amazing thing to behold. Don't worry, he has been richly rewarded.

Denae

 

[alabamaalan]

Wow, he was more spoiled than I am

Atlhough she certainly does them all more often than I do. Well, I do refuse to let her cut grass actually.

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Alan, I am so proud to "know" you. Glad your family has the opportunity to grow too. You will certainly be more than ready to share those duties when the Mrs. AA returns!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Thank you for sharing that candid snapshot of your life.

I'll head to Chik Fil A when the going gets rough here in a week or so.