Let the kiddies cry or give them anything to keep the noise down???

[Gabby&Liv's Mommy]

We have a 2 year old that, just over the last few weeks, has really decided to embrace the terrible twos. A temper tantrum over getting dressed in the morning and getting dressed for bed at night seems to have become a daily routine. We trying different things to help the situation, but I think sometimes she just wants to cry and scream. =)

So here is the question…..since I am sure the people in the room next to us and probably all of the rooms down the hall (she can really get herself going) could hear her….do we give her what she wants to keep her quite for the sake of the others in the rooms next to us? or do we not give in and be consistent with our approach at home? I need some advice. We are staying in the Villas at Wilderness Lodge so these are not cheap rooms.

 

[Hannathy]

At a hotel your responsibility is to be a good neighbor which means not allowing your toddler to disturb the people next to you whether it is by screaming or pounding on the wall or repeatedly slamming the door, etc.

 

[jensen]

I've got a two-year-old, as well, so I know what you're going through. My best advice would be to let her throw her fit in the morning - people will be getting up anyway, but try to calm her down if it's at night. With my DD2 last year, she was so exhausted at the end of the night that she usually fell asleep in the car on the way back from the parks, so she was half-asleep as I put her jammies on. Good luck and don't let worrying about what other people think change your parenting.

 

[Jaymie]

That's a tough one. We've mastered the art of negotiating with our two year old son. But when he was 5 months old, normally in the middle of the night we would let him cry it out at home, as long as we were sure he had a clean bum, full belly etc. and that worked out ok until we went to WDW. I didn't let him cry, I took him to bed with me to feed him and let him sleep there. Not the best idea, I know, but I didn't want to disturb everyone around us either. It was tough when we got home for about a month or so, but he did get back on track.

But with a 2 yr old, they remember everything, so you don't want to set a bad precedent for her. Negotiating works for us, but you have to be willing to take away what you're bribing her with. Eg. If you get dressed quickly, we can go have breakfast with Mickey or go swimming after your nap. Again, don't use anything that you won't really take away. (Maybe breakfast with Mickey is a bad example, I know I wouldn't be able to take that away).

Maybe try it at home first to see if it works with your little one.

Good Luck.

 

[NotUrsula]

Put her in her jammies, then put her in her stroller with a blanket and take her outside the building if she will not quiet down. The noise will dissipate outdoors. (Note that at WL, the atrium is not a good idea -- too much echo.) Night sounds outdoors should help to soothe her, too. Once she's out you can take her back inside and put her to bed.

Don't stay in your room if you anticipate more than about 5 minutes of loud tantrum happening anytime past about 8:30 pm. Letting her cry it out for an extended period of time is inappropriate in a hotel room.

The good news is that after a long day at the parks, it's fairly likely that she will be out cold before you even get her to the room. At that age, we used to take PJ's and a toothbrush to the parks and get them ready for sleep before the fireworks, so that we wouldn't have to wake them again once we got back to the resort.

As to things that might help stop the tantrums, offering some sort of choice sometimes works, but keep it simple. Letting her choose between two jammies, or two toothbrushes might help diffuse the situation. A choice of bedtime story is good, too.

 

[tripplanner]

I believe in being consistant, but for the sake of your neighbors I would do whatever it takes to calm her down. We were recently at AKL. It's the first time we have ever encountered a tantrum waking us up and keeping us awake. It would last for at least 30 minutes or more at a time. This happened for more than one night. It not only woke me up (I'm a light sleeper), but my kids as well. I understand crying kids since Disney is an overstimulating environment, I just wish the parents were able to get the child quieted in a quicker manner.

As for the poster that mentioned letting them cry it out in the morning, since most folks are awake - remember some people sleep in. One night we were at MK until midnight and didn't get everyone to sleep until after 1 am. We had planned on sleeping until 9. That day's tantrum started around 7 am. We thought it would never stop.

 

[Gabby&Liv's Mommy]

Thanks for the advice. I wish negotiating would work. It worked quite well with our 1st DD, who is now 4, but our youngest is, well, a polite way to say it is strong willed. =) A friend of ours, who is a child psychologist, did recommend offering choices with our 1st daughter and it worked great and still does. But our youngest will not have it. She wants her way and will immediately throw a temper tantrum if she does not get it. Sometimes even if she does get what she wants. As a parent I can’t help but wonder what we have done to create this. =(

I like the advice of taking her out of the room if she does not clam down after a few minutes. I had to take her out of Target yesterday kicking, screaming, thrashing, it was ugly. She just started this behavior right before our trip. Ah, the joys of parenting. =) Well, thanks again for the advice.

 

[amytheobald]

I m with taking her outside. You have to stay somewhat consistent or you will return home with a bigger battle to fight. Hopefully all of the fun will distract her.

 

[Gabby&Liv's Mommy]

Yes. I am hoping that Disney and all of the excitement and distractions will help. Hopefully it will be hard to throw a fit with all that fun. =)

 

[wrldpossibility]

That's tough...you have to be consistant, but you can't disturb others. I vote for taking her away from the room (outside) if it becomes a tantrum. That's the best solution for everyone, I think. Even if it still disturbs some people, at least they can see you're trying to think of others. People are more understanding then, as opposed to when it appears the parent just doesn't care.

I have a 2 yo too. If I saw you, I'd just smile in understanding. Good luck!!

 

[susykt4]

You might get lucky. My strong-willed son SHOCKED us by doing great his first trip when he was just under 2 1/2. DH and I had prearranged that this first family trip would be all about princess-loving DD4 and that we'd take turns taking DS back to the resort or to the playground or whatever he required to not wreck our trip. We thought he'd be way overstimulated by the crowds, sights, etc. It turned out he loved every second of the trip and was great the entire time. Tantrum Boy had NO major and very few minor outbursts. He slept well, ate well, etc. We were thrilled!

We returned a year later and once again, he was great. The kid who NEVER fell asleep at home was sleeping within seconds and sleeping all night. The only problem we had with him the second trip was he HATED the Family Magic Tour. He couldn't stand that we kept walking past all the rides and the games/scavenger hunt were way over his head.

 

[minkydog]

If you're staying next to me, give her what she wants If not, let her cry it out

 

[wrighter]

How much time do you have before your trip? Enough where you could try a new approach? I, too, have had the pleasure of dealing with a tantrum child. Not fun, no matter how you look at it. Here's what worked for us: When my DS threw a tantrum, I started to ignore him. Wherever I was, whatever I was doing, I just stopped. (Definitely not easy, but I didn't have to do it for very long.) I'd sit down, or just stand there looking off into space. I would never look at him. I did apologize to passers by, explaining that I was trying the latest new "child development theory." When he would start to calm down, I'd ask him, "Are you done yet?" If he started up again, we'd continue the process. If he quieted down we'd continue on our way. I was surprised at how few times I had to suffer through this when he gave it up. He still throws tantrums, but when I see them coming I say, "Are you going to have a tantrum now?" If he says yes, I tell him to "go have your tantrum over there, please. I"ll wait here." I swear it never lasts more than 30 seconds. Once he saw that he was getting absolutely zero reaction from me AT ALL, I guess he figured it wasn't worth it. Later I'll try to talk to him about it, why he was so mad, etc. But at 3 1/2 it doesn't always work. When I've had to do this in public, people give me the weirdest looks when they hear me ask him if he's going to have a tantrum, but then they are absolutely shocked to see that it nips it in the bud!

Anyway, I sympathize!!! Just wanted to share what worked for us - I know every child is different, so the more info you have the better. Good luck!!! Know that the tantrums can't last FOREVER!

 

[Erin1700]

New here....my job consists of going to different schools, child care centers and working with teachers to deal with any problems. I VERY often come into a toddler room with teachers complaining about little Suzy's tantrums or little Johnny not staying in his seat at lunch. They claim to have tried everything. Quite innocently when working with the little girl who threw screaming fits, I mentioned to her that I heard she liked to yell (notice she was NOT upset at this time) I got down on her level, looked her in the eye and asked her if she heard that we were no longer allowed to yell at this school? I told her you can be angry but not have a fit. To my surprise she said "OH,OK" Whenever we felt she may start we reminded her of the new rule and 8 out of 10 times it worked! Now, there have been kids this did not work with but a lot that just telling them before they got upset solved the problem. So now when the teachers come to me with issues I first ask..."did you tell them this is not allowed?"

Maybe if you told your daughter repeatedly (not yelled) before you go..."You know when you have those screaming fits? Well, I just heard they are not allowed at DIsney. Let's practice before we leave so we dont have any fits while we are there"

You could even go so far as to sit down with the girls and go over a list of rules Disney puts out...no standing up on rides, use walking feet, oh, no screaming in the hotel??? Hope this helps a little!

 

[Goof-abulous]

I have a five year old how also had tanturms at times. It was quite dis-heartening. I too would not give in. But as another poster said, when we took our first trip to DW she was 18 mos. It was a miracle. She was literally the perfect child. She listened, and had so much fun that I didn't think she was the same child. Hope your little tike has a great time!!

 

[MSSANDRA]

Here is my idea for what it is worth.. Vacations are times when we all bend the rules. We would never eat desert twice a day at home but on our trip with the DDP by golly we will eat that desert twice a day!!!

Try bending the rules to avoid a tantrum in the first place. Things that you know might set off a tantrum, try to avoid. Even a toddler can understand that a vacation is a special time and the rules are differnt. Perphaps little things like a later bedtime or not having to finish dinner before desert or carring her instead of making her walk or ride in the stroller would help prevent the problem. If she does have one and you can get her outside great, other wise I think you have to do what you can to avoid disturbing others. I HATE the idea of giving in and it will make life tough when you get home but it is not fair to disturb others. My DN and her husband were asked to leave a hotel two weeks ago because their infant son distrubed others crying even though they were attending him as best they could. Good luck. Hope the Disney magic works.

 

[HappyLawyer]

ok now i am all for not spoiling a kid, i remember watching people in the stores giving the kids what they wanted and i remember thinking how stupid these parents are,

ok fast forward now i am a parent and i realize sometimes you really want them to shut up so just give them what they want. I am not speaking as a teacher right now but as a parent.

The teacher mode of me might handle it a bit differently but as mommy, hey

 

[hollyb]

Please tell us where you are staying so we don't stay there. No honestly they are in a new place and will be a little off. Some extra TLC will be needed. Don't think of it as "giving in", just be patient and enjoy your trip.