I'm sorry to hear about this.
I hope that no matter how much Disney may jerk you around, you'll still find it a relaxing and enjoyable trip.
Here's the thing: Disney doesn't expect you to do this planning and they certainly don't force or require you. They expect you to be like the majority of guests, who do far less planning. As near as I can see, the notion that you must do all this planning comes largely from the community of expert planners here. And that planning does have value, but please don't forget the thousands of people who don't read things here, don't plan every details, and still have wonderful vacations.
That doesn't mean Disney is unaware of this level of planning. But they're not going to design their policies for the hyper-planners.
All this may not help you feel better now. But maybe for the next trip, it will help manage your own expectations. Mostly I'm just trying to point out that these uber-planning requirements aren't coming from Disney; they're coming from the uber-planners here.
And this is a perfect example of the sort of unrealistic expectation that hurts more than helps. It is absolutely possible to have a totally satisfying experience over a 2-3 day period, with no pre-planning at all. Because a satisfying experience doesn't mean seeing everything. It doesn't even mean seeing the things highest on your list of things to see. It means making the most out of the hand you're dealt. Give me airfare, hotel rooms, and tickets for as soon as I can book reasonable flights down and back, and I guarantee you I'll have a lovely time. (Well, maybe not if I forget to get my car inspected before the end of the month, and get the wrong type of ticket as a result

.)