Lesli's Live Long and Strong WISH Journal

[Lesli54]

Getting back on track today. Last night I was so tired that I fell asleep reading a book. But it was back up this morning and unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, the scale was 201. The same as when I left. I am sure that the next few days will put me down under 200 since I will be getting away from those highly processed foods at camp. ICK!

I did pick up a few groceries when I got home yesterday. I was craving "real" foods and found my cart was quickly loaded with fresh veggies, fresh fruits, eggs, yogurt, etc. Even a glimpse of eating not so healthy foods is more than enough to make you realize that it's not worth it, it doesn't taste that good, and you really miss the whole quality foods. I was really pleased to find that it was easy to go through the store and pick up the good stuff.

Supper last night was a turkey breast sandwich on 2 slices 7 grain and a salad. That tasted so good. Probably a little too much bread, but I just wanted something simple and was starving. No exercise this morning because I was so stiff in part of my back that I just couldn't get it loosened up. Stretching it out didn't help. DH had to give me a massage to work it out when he popped back home a few minutes ago. It's better now, not great, but much better. Maybe we will go walking this evening.

Breakfast: 1 egg omelet w/cheese, 2 slices ham (it's gone and I am off the ham kick), 1 c. watermelon, 1/2 slice 7 grain toast w/jelly, 1 c. gr tea w/jasmine (I was glad to have real breakfast food )
AM snack: yogurt
Lunch: chicken breast w/ onion on bun and maybe a salad
PM snack: fruit (early) & cheese (late) (trying to string this out to accomodate for the late supper)
Supper: something light, don't know yet

Goals for day:
1. Exercise (maybe a walk later)
2. Straighten my office
3. Bookwork
4. Finalize college finances (Anyone want to flip for the bill? )

I have so much that I need to get caught up on and get done. I have been gone so much lately that I am really behind. When I called DH on the way back from camp, I asked him if he remembered me and he said "yea, aren't you the lady that visits me every once in a while?" Pretty much what it feels like.

I'll try to get my journal caught up on trip reports, progress, etc. If I don't soon, I think I will start to lose focus. The monthly progress reports really remind me of where I have been and where I am going. I would love to lose another 10-15lbs. by the time we take DD17 to college.

Everyone have and awesome day!

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Lesli!

Sounds like you are having a very productive Saturday so far! I have only managed to check some journals and get myself some ice water! hehe.

I loved your post about your camping! It was excellent that the other mother's noticed your changes and hearing about your daughter cheering for you running made me a bit misty eyed. That was awesome! Keep up the good food choices now and your water intake, and you will flush away the processed foods you ate camping in no time I am sure.

Good luck with your goals for the day! Especially the last one!
Mike

 

[pearlieq]

Lesli! You're back!!!

Glad to hear you had a pretty good time it camp. It must have been a lot of fun to feel good, to have people notice, and to be able to impress your DD! Sounds like a nice time, camp food nonwithstanding.

I'm sure the water just needs a day or two to flush out, then you'll be happily in ONEderland! Your DH cracks me up!! Hopefully you'll have a bit longer of a "visit" now before your next adventures! Nice of him to help you with your back when he came home. Hopefully it loosens up soon!

Have a wonderful day!

 

[Zela]

Hey Lesli

I'm glad you had a good time at camp : ! Nice to have you back. You'll be to ONEderland soon. I've always heard a watched pot never boils. You could take this approach with weighing and weight a week or so and then weigh (or not I wouldn't be able to ). It is very suspenseful! Keep working hard!

 

[Lesli54]

No ONEDERLAND.

Oh well. It kind of figures. I did not get in all of my water yesterday. During the afternoon, I started to lose track and then the rest of the day flew by. Also, I wasn't as active as I had intended. Guess, I was still recouping from camping. So, with luck and determination, maybe that elusive 199 will show by Tues. Well, one can hope anyway.

I did manage to clear off my desk and actually have a work place again. It is amazing that everything goes there when the family doesn't know what to do with it. It always gets mixed in with the work I am doing. Somewhere I need to find a place to put an "in" basket so they can throw it in there. The rest of the office will be today, I guess. DD7 and DS were at it most of the day, yesterday. I guess you could say the missed each other? So it was very hard to concentrate on college finances and bookwork, so not much done there either. Exercise didn't happen.

Food was according to plan until lunch. I ended up eating a butterfly porkchop sandwich, since it was late and we had so many of them left and I was starving. Should never let that happen. At least I have found that I don't want them as often as I used to. Later, I had 1 Reese's PB cup. Then I had 4 crackers w/cheese. Should have just stuck with the snack plan as it seemed that these items drug me down a little more. Supper was good though. I had a very large salad (I was very hungry) w/ turkey, craisins, and almonds. It was so good and really hit the spot. So the day wasn't bad, but I could have done better.

DD15 came home from cheerleading camp yesterday. She had fun and was nominated to try out for All American, but didn't make it. Oh well, at least she was nominated. Today, her and DD17 are off to GS camp for the week. This will be the first time that DD17 will be staff and not a camper. Great way to make some extra money for college. With luck she will get a call from another GS camp this week so she can work over there for the next few weeks. They are short on staff, so I am hoping.

Breakfast: 1 egg omelet w/cheese, mushroom, & onion, 6 bing cherries, 1/2 slice 7 grain toast w/jelly, 1 c. gr tea w/jasmine
AM snack: yogurt
Lunch: Maybe tuna and a nice salad
PM snack: fruit
Supper: Not sure. I would like chicken, green beans and salad, but the oldest 2 will be gone, DH is leaving later, and so it may be just me and the youngest two.

Goals:
1. Exercise (I know I will be doing alot of walking tonight, if nothing else)
2. Do the things I didn't get done yesterday

I really wanted to go to the Civil War reenactment that is close by, but it looks like DH has other plans and I really don't want to go with just me and the little ones. That wouldn't be good. Later tonight, I have to go help sell glow necklaces for GS at the fireworks (one of the towns is celebrating 150? yrs). DD7 is going w/ to "model" the necklaces and yesterday DH made an appt to meet someone late this evening (for a hobby thing) so I have to have DS with me as well. This ought to prove interesting. Somehow, I have a feeling that I will be chasing him more than I will be selling. Forgive me, but I am a little preturbed. DH never remembers if others in the family have anything going on and will just plan around his schedule. Sometimes it works, but other times it doesn't. This is one of those "doesn't" times. I had this planned a long time ago and can't get out of it since there are only a handful of adults actually helping tonight. It just irks me.

Guess, I am having one of those days. Another thing that irks me. My class reunion is this coming weekend. I never got the formal letter when it was sent out, even though I was talking with the committee at the time to help them locate people they couldn't find. So I didn't know the itinerary. Kind of hard to set up a sitter when you only know the date. I kept asking and they kept passing the buck. Finally I got an email this weekend that has the formal letter, reservation, questionaires, etc. Well it is too late to reserve, but I was told that they would squeeze me in. I am sure that if I fill out the questionaire, it is too late to get that in their printed copy to give out. It just makes me mad. To top it off, the girl who ususally babysits will be at GS camp along with my oldest two. They might be back home Sat. in time for me to still go, but at this point, I just don't know if I really want to. The bad thing is that I did want to go a few weeks ago, but I don't like being overlooked and passed around when SOMEONE could have just told me what was going on. I guess next time, I will just keep my mouth shut on where people are when they can't find them. It's been 20 years and some people still haven't grown up. Ok. I am done. Sorry you had to listen, but at least I am not eating.

Gotta go. Everyone have a great day!

 

[pearlieq]

Sorry to hear about your frustrations!!! You're doing a good thing by "talking" it through and venting about it rather than turning it inward and eating to cope! You've made a lot of progress!!!

I hope you find time for some rest and order today, and maybe get a chance to do some of the things you wanted to. The Civil War reenactment sounds like a lot of fun. I'm a big Civil War buff myself.

Take care of yourself today--this too shall pass!

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Lesli!

Vent away!! That's why we're here! Sorry to hear that so many irksome things have come up this weekend. Go you for keeping up your healthy food choices through it though, stress can be a huge trigger and you are not giving in to it!

I hope that you do have a nice Sunday eve and an even better start to your week!

Mike

 

[Lesli54]

The frustrations are over. I don't know why, but everything just had an edge to it yesterday. At least I made it through without really turning to food. Today is a new day and I am ready to take it on.

Great news! No....not ONEDERLAND. Last night when we were getting ready for selling glo necklaces, a friend of mine, whom I haven't seen in a few months congratulated me on my weight loss. She whispered it at first, because I think she was afraid of offending me if I was sick or really hadn't lost much. I told her how much I have lost and she said that it was really noticeable. That in itself is better than getting into the single digits right now. I counted 1 hr of walking last night as exercise, but it was a lot more.

The house is quiet. The older two got off to camp fine yesterday and today DD7 is going to my grandma's to spend a night or two. DS is just getting to the age where he would like to go, but I think that is just a little much for gran at the moment. It is very rare that we only have 1 child around. Kind of a look at the future, I guess.

Everything was on plan until lunch. We didnt' have any lettuce or salad mix for salads and I just wasn't feeling very hungry for much at all. But I knew I had to eat something, so I had a LC Chicken Chow Mein. It smelled really good and pretty much hit the spot. I was on the go for the PM snack, but I grabbed 4 crackers before we left. While dropping off the older DD's, I picked up a snack pack of Gardetto's mustard pretzels. I think it was more out of frustration and not so much out of hunger. The good thing is that I only ate about 1/3 of the bag. It wasn't what I wanted and I knew it wasn't what I needed. Supper was early so that I could get ready for selling. We just had some leftovers. Again, I was at a loss for what I wanted to eat. So I sauteed some onions and mushrooms and threw in a 3oz grilled chicken breast. Very tasty. I considered smoothering it in cheese, but decided to save the calories and have some of the pasta salad that DH makes. Glad I made that choice. He doesn't make it often and it is definitely more like a treat since it is sweet. During the fireworks last night while we were waiting to sell the last of the necklaces, DH bought the kids a funnel cake. I wasn't hungry and I could have easily passed it up, but I did allow myself to partake in about 1/8 of it. Could I have eaten it all? Yup, but a little went a long way in satisfying the "thrill of the taste". My calories were on the lower end, so even with the funnel cake, I still came out good. Too bad, it was so late in the evening. Oh well.

Right now, I am getting a little disappointed that I am at the same weight and have been for little more than a week. This is new to me since starting this journey. I know it takes time and I know I need to change a few things. It's good that I am maintaining here and not gaining, but this is not where I want to be. Actually, I am thinking about going back to the beginning of Dr. Phil's plan and getting that jumpstart again. Things were so well balanced and the meals were planned much better than I am doing lately. I have been so stuck in a rut on eating the same foods and I want more variety. Also, I am going to get after DH to get my bike down so that I can go on rides. Now I need to get one of those pull behind trailers for DS.

Breakfast: 1 egg omelet w/sauteed mushrooms, onions, & cheese, 1/2 slice 7 grain w/jelly, 1 c. gr tea w/jasmine, and 1 yogurt
AM snack: veggies
Lunch: tuna and salad
PM snack: banana smoothie or piece of fruit
Supper: probably leftovers of some sort (I think I better freeze some)

Goals for day:
1. Exercise
2. Work on college stuff
3. Work on GS stuff
4. Catch up on my Library board stuff (meeting tonight)
5. Bookwork

Let's just say that it is a huge catch up day. Why is it that vacations can leave you so far behind? I feel like there is so much to do and so little time. Thankfully, some things that I am involved in will be ending and I really do plan to take that extra time.

Oh, yeah, another thing that may be slowing down the weight loss is the fact that I haven't had my vitamins in about 2 weeks. I know they supplemented for what I wasn't getting in food, but I haven't been to any stores lately. Guess, I will have to make sure I go pick them up.

Everyone have a great day!

 

[pearlieq]

Glad to hear you made it through the frustrations of yesterday OK! Hopefully things are a bit calmer for a while. Enjoy having just DS at home--that sounds like fun!

Sorry to hear you feel stuck, but I think you might be on to something. I've always found the body responds best to shock, so maybe changing things up would be helpful.

Have a wonderful day today!!!

 

[rcyannacci]

Pulling down the bike sounds like a great idea!

I'd say focus on all the great comments you're getting instead of the scale (I know, easy to say, but harder to do!) With as hectic as you're life has been lately (good hectic, not bad hectic), I think you're doing great! So maybe as things slow down a bit, that will give you the opportunity to try some new stuff.

Have a great Monday!

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Lesli!

I know the scale not moving can be frustrating, but it is better than it moving up! You have done so well and I am sure that this is just a temporary plateau. You know what tools you have to energize yourself it seems and I know you will use them well!

Have a happy & healthy Monday!
Mike

 

[Lesli54]

Ok. Yesterday was not a good day in terms of food. I am starting to get an overwhelmed feeling from all the things that I need to get done and don't seem to have enough time for. And, I am sure that I am losing some focus on my goals. So, before this goes any further, I am trying real hard to get back on the bandwagon and continue on with my journey. I am going to spend part of today, catching up my journal from the missed days, catch up on my mini goals to remind myself and do my progress reports. After that, I am going to back off the computer for awhile and try to get as much caught up as I can around here. I feel like just curling up on the couch (it doesn't help that it is raining) and just ignoring all that needs to be done. So, before I go down the path that I know is going to do more damage, I am going to try and change gears.

I did catch up on a few things yesterday, which is good. The AM snack was missed, as I wasn't hungry and wasn't paying attention to time. I wasn't hungry for lunch either and not much was appealing. But, I made tuna salad (not so tasty, since I changed a few things) and ate it with crackers. No balance. I didn't care and I just wasn't in the mood to eat. Then later, I ate a 2pk of Reese's PB cups. This has to stop! I only want quality and this really isn't fitting the bill. Then later, I was contemplating things (not food) and I went and had a few bites of DH's pasta salad. Too much sugar in it, but it tastes good, but I need to stay in control. For supper, I wasn't hungry and considered skipping, but I knew that wasn't any good. You never make good choices in this situation. DH brought home a bag of chips and opened them. I ate quite a few and didn't really care. Now, I know I told him not to bring any home. (Actually, we haven't had any in weeks, so he really wasn't the problem, I was.) Then I ate a brat on a bun. It tasted ok. Not what I wanted, but it was food.

Now if that wasn't bad enough. I went to my meeting and walked away very frustrated at most of the other members on the board. We want to expand the library, but yet, they want to waste money on frivilous things, such as paying a higher price for a DSL line by going with company X when they could pay less by going with company Y. The reason? No one wants to bother to call company Y to get the actual price and mess with switching. Gee. It's a phone call and will save you 1/2 the price every month, no strings attached. Hmmmmm. I wonder. Is this rocket science, People!? Then, I a find myself on the budget committee. The job is easy I am told, since the Librarian draws it up and I am just expected to say "yes, I approve" and move on after all, the numbers used in the budget are just "pie in the sky" numbers, I am told. WHAT? You are saying that to an accountant? True, a budget is a guideline, but the numbers are not pulled out of thin air. Obviously, they don't understand trying to stay within the budget. And they don't. It was like this all night long. Thankfully, I saw my neighbor (also on the board and new) was very frustrated as well. Basically, it comes down to he and I who will probably be the ones to actually get the ball rolling on the expansion, so now we are picking our battles. But, I am not voting to spend more for a stupid DSL line.

I was very frustrated walking away. So when I got home, DH, DS and I took a brisk walk. Now if I would always take a walk when I am frustrated, I would lose 50lbs in 2 months. Unfortunately, we stopped for ice cream. Not that DH wanted to, but I did. We split a cone, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Breakfast: 1 egg omelet w/sauteed mushrooms, onions, & cheese, 1/2 slice 7 grain toast w/jelly, 4 strawberries.
AM snack: veggies and cheese
Lunch: salad w/turkey
PM snack: milk and fruit
Supper: ?

Goals for day:
1. Exercise
2. Catch up my journal
3. Stay off the computer after catching up
4. Bills
5. Take one thing at a time around here to work on and get it done.

To top off my morning, it is raining , so the small roof won't get done today. BIL was planning on coming out, but I had to call him to let him know the weather conditions. It works out, since I have to go to the dentist today. I don't know if I should be thrilled or not. It has been awhile since I have gone (it used to hurt when I was a kid and that is hard to get past as an adult, those my age and older would understand). But, my first mini goal was to set up an appt for whitening my teeth and I am glad that it is here, but I know that I will probably need some other work done. Oh well. This journey is about taking care of myself, I guess.

I am done with ranting and raving. Thanks for listening, I do feel much better now.

Everyone have a great day!

 

[pearlieq]

Hey,

First off, big for you. Sorry to hear you've been feeling a little down. Hopefully things turn around soon and you feel better.

Sorry to hear about your frustrations with the library board. That does sounds maddening! Hopefully with some patience and persistance you'll be able to make an impact.

You did a good thing by taking a walk to work off your frustrations--1/2 an ice cream cone is not the end of the world!!!

Anyway, I hope despite the you have a happy and productive day!

 

[Mykelogan]

Hi Lesli!
I am so sorry to hear that you have all that stress building up!!
At the end of your to do list you hit on the thing that helps me keep going in anything when I get stressed, "5. Take one thing at a time ". Instead of seeing a bad day ahead maybe try to see what choices you can make in the moment to help build your resolve back up. Like last night, you could have had a whole cone yourself or even something worse covered in fudge and cream, but you chose the 1/2 cone! One great choice down! What's next? and next? Feel like you make a bad one, try to make the next one good!
When I first started my journal you wrote:
"If you ever need to talk or need some inspiration, just come back, we have lots of motivation and support to give."

Know that I send the same message back to you! You can do this!

Mike

 

[goldcupmom]

Good Morning, Lesli! I've just finished catching up where I left off in your journal. You sure have been busy.

Keep hanging in there. Onederland will come. Remember - good things come to those who wait! The waiting is just incredibly frustrating.

 

[joelyfaithsmommy]

hi lesli

i feel your pain...sometimes it's just easy not to care...sometimes it's hard to care...i've been there, i've done that, you are doing the right thing though, venting about it, and getting back on track...you will conquer your weight, if you KEEP SWIMMING, KEEP TRYING, NEVER QUIT!!!

ok now here's a for you!!! feel better???

have a great day!!!
Jen

 

[Lesli54]

You guys are great! Whenever, I start to feel a little down, I know that someone (or alot of someones) will come through for me and give me a supportive hand. That's why I love this board so much. You know how to pick people up before they hit the bottom.

You are right. One thing at a time, the weight will come off, it was good that I chose to walk and vent my frustrations, and I do intend to stay the course.

Things are better than they were in the "before". I am making better choices, like 1/2 an ice cream cone, than I did before when I was frustrated. Life gets overwhelming every once in awhile, I know that and it will continue to happen. I just have to build better strategies for handling it. Running to the comfort zones of the "before" is what got me there in the first place. I will not go there again!

It's funny, I can deal with stress under pressure very well. Give me a deadline and I can pull 5 rabbits out of my hat and pretty much get you whatever you need. But when there isn't set deadlines, or they are far off, and everything just happens at once, I feel like I am buried and it makes it hard to see daylight. Of course, it doesn't help when I deal with people who have lost sight of the goals when I am in the midst of getting buried.

The dentist went better than expected in some aspects and about as expected in others. I have to go back for a few more cleanings, but they said my teeth were very good for the most part. As a promise to myself, after all this is done, I will go every 6 months. I know that it is part of taking care of me and I deserve that. I also know that it isn't as painful to go to the dentist as it was 25 years ago. Besides, we have to face our fears head on don't we?

Lunch is late, because of the dentist, but I am enjoying a nice large salad right now. So back on track.

I am thinking of switching gears and going off to do some serious cleaning out of closets and rooms. That usually helps with frustrations, gets something accomplished, and gives me a sense of order so that I don't feel as overwhelmed.

Talk to you later. Thanks for all the encouragement. I can and will do this.

 

[pearlieq]

Good morning!

Glad to hear you were able to get a pick-me-up here yesterday! I hope the day went OK and today is looking bright as well!

Good for you for making it to the dentist (on my never-ending to do list as well). You're absolutely right, you deserve to take care of yourself. Healthy teeth are like healthy knees--you'll really miss them when they're gone.

Hopefully the cleaning helped you feel more focused and productive. I know sometimes when I'm all overwhelmed I have to pick one tiny thing and just get it done. Just the sheer feeling of accomplishing something is enough to get me motivated to tackle the rest.

Hope today is wonderful!!!

 

[Lesli54]

First, a public announcement:
You are all officially invited to the ONEDERLAND party on the WISH boards.

This morning the scale read 199! I made it to ONEDERLAND! The scale actually moved! I am so excited. Although I kept rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I double and triple checked. It feels so good to know that I actually will always see a "1" in front of my weight. Wow. It has been so long. Now time to make my solemn vow......I will never ever weigh 200+ lbs. again!

Yesterday went all right. Some things got done and others didn't, but that is ok. During the afternoon, I took a small nap. I guess my body really needed it.

AM snack was missed since I had the dentist appt and lunch was late. However, I did stick to the plan and had a nice large salad. My PM snack was a little late as well. I ate fresh red raspberries and a piece of hard cheddar. We are out of milk so I took the cheese from the AM snack that I missed and substituted. For the most part, I wasn't hungry at all yesterday and I had a hard time eating much for supper. I finished off the tuna, had 5 crackers and 1 Tbsp of PB. Amazingly, it was satisfying and really the only things that appealed to me. Also, it is the first meal that I have eaten that really looks like I am on a diet. I didn't get quite enough calories yesterday and that concerns me, but I did go over the minimum. It's hard to eat when you aren't hungry, but I know I have to.

In the evening, I relaxed and finished my book that I started reading when I went to London. It takes awhile to read a book around here and it felt good to have it done. Actually, it felt good to just sit and read again. I went to bed just after 10pm and really felt good about how the day went. I didn't eat enough, but I didn't fall into the snacky zone either. Also, I decided to make a plan for getting some of the things around here accomplished. Oh yeah, I also took the 100 Day Cheat Free challenge. For 100 days, I will not have any unplanned snacks or potato chips. I figured that it is the unplanned stuff that is getting me lately. So, if I want to indulge, I will plan for it. That's not too much to ask of myself.

Of course, waking up to ONEDERLAND is a huge motivator as well.

Breakfast: 1 egg omelet w/sauteed onions & cheese, 1/2 slice 7 grain toast w/jelly, and 5 strawberries
AM snack: veggies and cheese
Lunch: Maybe DH and I will sneak out to the Chinese buffet. If so, I will maintain control. If not, I guess it is salad.
PM snack: fruit and milk
Supper: Salad if we have Chinese for lunch, otherwise, I don't know yet.

Goals for day:
1. Exercise
2. Work on GS paperwork
3. Get some of the old bookwork out and up to the store for storage.

Well, not much else to report. Things are quiet here with only 1 child. Not a bad thing.

Everyone have a great and wonderful day!

 

[pearlieq]

Work crisis just popped up and I've gotta run, but I just wanted to jump in to say CONGRATS!!!

You worked so hard to get here! Good for you!!!