Leaving kids in room question

[DisneyMomx7]

I don't think its a matter of trust its a matter of maturity and responsibility. Sorry I don't think 9 years old have the maturity to be left alone in a hotel room. Even if you think your 9 year old is mature, they do not have the maturity of an adult. I just can't help but wonder if you leave sleeping 9 year olds at home - don't you worry about things like fires? Much less to leave them alone in a hotel room. The OP can change the original question all she wants to make it sound better but she was specifically asking about leaving her children alone in order not to have to pay for a babysitter.

If you can afford to go to Disney and you want an adult night out then you should budget for a sitter or a kids club. Simple as that - no debate!

Sorry but if I saw 9 year old children being left alone in a hotel room ANYWHERE I would report them to the front desk, security or even the police.

 

[tjmw2727]

I think it depends on the child but IMHO most 9 yo's are too young. Of course there are going to be exceptions and perhaps the OP's are just that.

I feel most 8,9, 10 and even many 11 and 12 yos don't consistantly have the impulse control and the experience to handle this. My dd's are 11 and 9 and I wouldn't leave them alone at WDW even though they know it and the resort we stay at very well. I love them both and feel they are "trustworthy" to the point they should be at this age. I personally think 9 is too young to be left alone in a hotel room its not because I think badly of children or don't trust them. For me it's more about reaction to unknown situations that I would be concerned with. Its my job to keep my kids safe and that includes not putting them in situations they are not ready to handle.

OP, sorry things didn't go your way with the thread, but calling out those who simply disagreed with you by saying their children were dumb, coniving or untrustworthy didn't help.

I hope you find a solution you and your children are comfortable with.

TJ

 

[DISUNC]

Sorry but if I saw 9 year old children being left alone in a hotel room ANYWHERE I would report them to the front desk, security or even the police.

Don't be sorry! Good for you! You will be reporting on a case of Child Abuse & Neglect! Most people look the other way.

This thread really bothered me BIG TIME! It was a very disturbing post.

 

[jodifla]

Don't be sorry! Good for you! You will be reporting on a case of Child Abuse & Neglect! Most people look the other way.

This thread really bothered me BIG TIME! It was a very disturbing post.

Frankly, I think your post is the disturbing one.

 

[jodifla]

That is funny but my dtr now is not the most mature she is only 9 and i am hoping she matures, right now she cannot be trusted. I know some families have kids that act differently and i need to me the best judgement that will protect her, it is not being overprotective i just need to be cautious with her.

I see what you're saying. Thanks for the clarification....

 

[disneyandme]

I wonder how many parents who leave young kids alone in hotels go over hotel emergency rules first. Do they know where all their exits are? Do they know not to use an elevator in an emergency even if others are? Do they know to stay in the room if the door is hot and stuff wet towels under the door, how to sign thet they are inside? etc.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I read a really interesting artical in a magazine a while back on how children's brains develop. It was showing how they had found that things like having the judgment to cross a busy street or to react to a fire developed much later than parents belived their child to be capable of handing such situations. Most of these reasoning skill were not present before age 12. It has nothing to do with how well you raised your child, or how high the IQ is, sometimes those little brains just are not developed enough to make the kind a judgment calls that adults make. That's just how God made them and why he gave them parents to care for them.
They grow up too fast anyway, just love them and protect them and let them be little a little longer.

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

WOW
hot debate -
I didn't read all of the responses... but wanted to answer the original question.

I would not hesitate to leave my DD - 12 with her brother - 6 and Sister 2 to run to the hotel store, front desk, even the lounge or a late dinner in the hotel resraunt in the evening after the little ones were alseep -
I would leave her with one cell phone and take the other of course...
but to leave the grounds of the resort I would not...
I think it comes down to knowing you kids and what they are capable of and not...

at 9 I would not have though - at 11 she took the red cross baby sitting course and cpr... (we joke that she is more qualified to stay with the little ones than her grandparents are ) I highly recommend the course - the materials they covered were excellent.

 

[pickles]

WOW
hot debate -
I didn't read all of the responses... but wanted to answer the original question.

I would not hesitate to leave my DD - 12 with her brother - 6 and Sister 2 to run to the hotel store, front desk, even the lounge or a late dinner in the hotel resraunt in the evening after the little ones were alseep -
I would leave her with one cell phone and take the other of course...
but to leave the grounds of the resort I would not...
I think it comes down to knowing you kids and what they are capable of and not...

at 9 I would not have though - at 11 she took the red cross baby sitting course and cpr... (we joke that she is more qualified to stay with the little ones than her grandparents are ) I highly recommend the course - the materials they covered were excellent.

I find the above to be a reasonable and honest reply.

I don't think the poster ever said she was leaving the hotel grounds and she never posted the ages, as she said she wanted general input, not specific. She never said SHE left her kids alone either. It was obvious, she was just looking for feedback. I don't recall her ever calling anyone or their kids names. I think, she simply stated she couldn't understand some of the responses. Some folks did take that personally I guess...I didn't.
The end result of all of this(I gather) is she was given some alternative choices which she seems to be thankful for and even asked for more input about(but never got a resonse to)
I got the impression that this question was bothering her enough to ask what others did. So, I don't think this is something she commonly does or she wouldn't have bothered to ask in the first place!
It is sad some folks have taken such an extreme and at points nasty way of handling this.. even more interesting as I think a couple don't even have kids, but that is a guess on my part.
I hope this onslaught that came about hasn't totally scared her away. Maybe, it has given her and others extra things to consider and offered some differeing points of view.
good thing we live where folks can make choices and raise their children as they feel is best (within the law of course)

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Sorry but the OP edited her original post. She originally was asking about leaving the kids alone instead of paying for a babysitter so they could have a night out. She also mentioned the ages of the kids in a previous post. That's the problem when someone completely changes their original post (to make themselves look better). The answers may not make sense when someone is reading an edited post.

 

[tjmw2727]

I find the above to be a reasonable and honest reply.

I don't think the poster ever said she was leaving the hotel grounds and she never posted the ages, as she said she wanted general input, not specific. She never said SHE left her kids alone either. It was obvious, she was just looking for feedback. I don't recall her ever calling anyone or their kids names. I think, she simply stated she couldn't understand some of the responses. Some folks did take that personally I guess...I didn't.
The end result of all of this(I gather) is she was given some alternative choices which she seems to be thankful for and even asked for more input about(but never got a resonse to)
I got the impression that this question was bothering her enough to ask what others did. So, I don't think this is something she commonly does or she wouldn't have bothered to ask in the first place!
It is sad some folks have taken such an extreme and at points nasty way of handling this.. even more interesting as I think a couple don't even have kids, but that is a guess on my part.
I hope this onslaught that came about hasn't totally scared her away. Maybe, it has given her and others extra things to consider and offered some differeing points of view.
good thing we live where folks can make choices and raise their children as they feel is best (within the law of course)

Actually she did many of those things in the original post and a few follow ups which she has since edited.

IIRC the op was something about going out for the evening while the 9yos were already asleep, and what do you do?

While most gave what they thought were honest answers the OP didn't like some of them. She then posted that she felt sorry for those who disageed with her because their kids must be untrustworthy, coniving and dumb. Things got a bit heated after that!

I think lots of people have posted great things to think about as well as some positive ideas, esp the babysitting and CPR course. (ps, thank you for that, I am going to look into that for my 11yo this summer).

IMHO if you ask for opinions, and the op did then you have to be willing to listen to both sides.

TJ

 

[pickles]

.

IIRC the op was something about going out for the evening while the 9yos were already asleep, and what do you do?

While most gave what they thought were honest answers the OP didn't like some of them. She then posted that she felt sorry for those who disageed with her because their kids must be untrustworthy, coniving and dumb. Things got a bit heated after that!

TJ

She never posted their ages and she simply said "left in the room alone" I do recall the original post. Everyone else piled on and focused on the one thing she was trying to avoid by NOT listing specific ages.

She didn't like some of the answers, because she couldn't understand them.
I mean after all we are talking about older teenagers and they can't be left alone..doesn't that baffle you too?
She could have been more polite when she wrote, but i don't think she was personally attacking someone's kids. I think, she was trying to generally state something and just did it in a poor way, but that seems to be a common occurence on this thread.
It's a shame as this could have been a very helpful thread.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I read a really interesting artical in a magazine a while back on how children's brains develop. It was showing how they had found that things like having the judgment to cross a busy street or to react to a fire developed much later than parents belived their child to be capable of handing such situations. Most of these reasoning skill were not present before age 12. It has nothing to do with how well you raised your child, or how high the IQ is, sometimes those little brains just are not developed enough to make the kind a judgment calls that adults make. That's just how God made them and why he gave them parents to care for them.
They grow up too fast anyway, just love them and protect them and let them be little a little longer.

I read this study, too! I think it may have been in one of my educational journals (I'm a teacher)

I think there are a couple different issues here. One is the actual debate over when it's okay to leave a kid in the room alone. Another is the fact that a lot of posters are irritated by the fact that the OP's original post was different from what it currently states, since the OP edited it. I did not see the original post, so my responses were only based on what's there now, but it's only common sense that if you ask a different question, you'll get different responses.

 

[DISUNC]

Frankly, I think your post is the disturbing one.

WHY??

 

[tjmw2727]

She never posted their ages and she simply said "left in the room alone" I do recall the original post. Everyone else piled on and focused on the one thing she was trying to avoid by NOT listing specific ages.

She didn't like some of the answers, because she couldn't understand them.
I mean after all we are talking about older teenagers and they can't be left alone..doesn't that baffle you too?
She could have been more polite when she wrote, but i don't think she was personally attacking someone's kids. I think, she was trying to generally state something and just did it in a poor way, but that seems to be a common occurence on this thread.
It's a shame as this could have been a very helpful thread.

Ok - gotcha. I guess that's one issue with the edit feature! I remember the question based on my impressions when I read it, others remember it another way. I can't go back now and re-read for clarification.

FWIW I remember her saying they would go out when the kids were already asleep which lead me to beleive they were young. Again - my impression which I can't go back to see if I am wrong on that.

I also missed the part about not leaving teens but again the OP was about leaving sleeping kids so that would rule out teens.

Anyway - I have gotten some great info from the post and I hope the OP has as well. For me it will be at least 12 for my oldest, we shall see with the youngest.

TJ

 

[DisneyMomx7]

She never posted their ages and she simply said "left in the room alone" I do recall the original post. Everyone else piled on and focused on the one thing she was trying to avoid by NOT listing specific ages.

She didn't like some of the answers, because she couldn't understand them.
I mean after all we are talking about older teenagers and they can't be left alone..doesn't that baffle you too?
She could have been more polite when she wrote, but i don't think she was personally attacking someone's kids. I think, she was trying to generally state something and just did it in a poor way, but that seems to be a common occurence on this thread.
It's a shame as this could have been a very helpful thread.

Well I remember the original post and I do not believe she was talking about teenagers. I remember very well her stating that the kids were good about staying in bed if they woke up - does that sound like teenager to you.

IMHO the OP edited her post to cover her tracks when she realized people were apalled at someone leaving children alone sleeping in a hotel room while they went out for an "adult night". Then the OP tried to justify it by saying she felt sorry for people who couldn't trust their kids or something to the effect that those kids must be dumb.

 

[dcfromva]

In regards to the original question:

Here is a link I found to FL info: "Is My Child Ready To Stay Home Alone?"

There is a difference between staying at home and staying in a hotel.

The chances of something happening at the hotel are very slim. But, you have to train for the unusal event. It may even be a challenging situation for an adult... I have been in a hotel a couple of times where the fire alarm went off (in the middle of the night) and I was confused as to what action we were supposed to take because of receiving conflicting guidance from hotel staff.

Do you train your children to know where the nearest emergency exits are when you check into your room? Could they find the nearest exit in possible frantic and confusing (dark and smoky) circumstances? Would you know where to find them after an evacuation? If it turned out to be a false alarm, would they be able to get back in the room?

I was just thinking about the Grand Californian in Disneyland. They had a hotel fire due to the Christmas Tree catching fire this past year. So, although it is rare, it does happen. Link to story

If there was a medical emergency, would your children know how to get help? When you are in a hotel, it may be necessary to dial 9 to get an outside line in order to dial 9-1-1. (Would they be able to say where they are located?) In a medical emergency, if they were connected to the front desk would they know when to be emphatic about getting immediate help?

What if the kids decided that going swimming in a pool that didn't have a lifeguard was a good idea?

What if the kids simply got locked out of their room and didn't have the means to communicate (ie they left the cell phone in the room)?

What if the kids decided that it would be fun to order from the room service menu? Or, order a movie.... (The Fairy Godmother could end up being more cost effective. )

-DC

 

[mdhkitten]

You can still see the original post on the first page of this thread. It is in a couple of people's posts that used the "quote" feature. People found out that her children were 9 years old by reading her previous posts on other threads. That's how everyone knows.

 

[snowwite]

This isn't a lynch mob people. I am referring to all the bull the OP has had. I don't think it's any of our business at what age a person chooses to let their child stay alone at night, or why she changed her original post, but quite frankly I don't blame her. She asked a simple question, and wanted opinions of everyone here, not the criticism of why she did not reveal her childs age, etc.... She was curious, she never said she was going to, or did leave her child, so whats the deal??!!

I dont think anyone here is acting like it is a "lynch mob". The people who posted were trying to be helpful.
Originally Posted by jcpuppy.com
I was wondering at night when your kids go to bed, what age range do you feel comfortable leaving them alone while you and hubby go out?
Our kids are good about sleeping and not leaving their beds at night, but i just wanted to get feedback on what other parents do.
I would hire a sitter from Disney, but with 3 kids that seems very pricey [/Quote]
I answered what I would be comfortable with and I think that is pretty much what others did too because it seemed OP was looking for a consensus of opinion or perhaps approval for leaving the kids alone in the room without needing a sitter.I did not make any assumptions and did not give any advice about her particular situation. I was offended by some of the OP's nasty remarks about other parents especially since I am one with older kids who chooses not to leave them unsupervised when we travel. Now seeing your lynch mob comments I give up. To the OP do whatever you think is right for your kids. Sorry I even tried to help at this point.

 

[DISUNC]

I answered what I would be comfortable with and I think that is pretty much what others did too because it seemed OP was looking for a consensus of opinion or perhaps approval for leaving the kids alone in the room without needing a sitter.I did not make any assumptions and did not give any advice about her particular situation. I was offended by some of the OP's nasty remarks about other parents especially since I am one with older kids who chooses not to leave them unsupervised when we travel. Now seeing your lynch mob comments I give up. To the OP do whatever you think is right for your kids. Sorry I even tried to help at this point.

I Agree totally with snowwite.
Due to the Ops posting, now edited, I will not split hairs here....she most definitely was seeking approval for leaving her children ALONE in the room without a sitter. Since most of the responses were not to her likeing, she then added another post(also now edited), which was equally disturbing only much more nastier.

When I first read the Ops post, I thought I was reading wrong. I then read the post, again I thought it was SO OUT THERE I did not respond. Hours later, I read it for the third time, and her wacky response to those who have already posted their input. All responses given from fellow Disers where either questions for more info , specifically the ages of the children, or people offering help and assitance. Amazing how in other post she had no qualm about freely giving out her childrens ages, yet in this post SHE PURPOSELY LEFT THE AGES OMITTED!

When the OP WENT OFF on the second post.....I REALLY KNEW her original post was NOT ME READING IT WRONG....But she WAS MOST SURELY SEEKING APPROVAL to ILLEGALLY NEGLECT her children!!!!

By no means am I a judgemental person. If needed, check my past posts. Quite the opposite, I abide by 'live and let live" policy to life. However, this post was very clear to me that someone might possible put their childrens life in jeopardy (for various reasons stated above)! I'd be damn if, at least, I not say or write something to possibly stop that.

How anyone could support this Ops postings is beyond my comphrehension.

I am now off my virtual Soapbox...and also out of here!!!!!