Laptops, IMing and 9 Year Olds

[DisneyPRPrincess]

How does everyone feel about getting a laptop to a 9 year old as a Christmas Gift and giving her IMing capabilities?

My friends daughter recieved one for Christmas and when I spoke to her she was trying to install IM service on her laptop so that her daughter can chat online?

Mind you my friend has 2 computers in the house already.

DH and I were floored and thought....what is the deal with giving a child that young thier own laptop when they have 2 computers at home already? Not to mention why would you want to put IMing capabilities on a computer that the child can take with them to the privacy of thier own room? At 9, why are kids Iming anyway? Our kids use the computers at home but never IM, and the computer is in the living room where DH and I can monitor what is going on.

 

[debbi801]

No way. Not in this house. LOL My 13 yr old just got IM'ing capabilities. And he is on a shared computer (him and my 11 yr old DD) that is located in the family room so that we can keep an eye on what is going on. We also have net nanny installed and a program that records key strokes so we know what they are typing.

DH and I are both very computer literate and are well aware of the dangers on the net. So, we take as many precautions as possible. Not that we don't trust our kids, but there are too many crazy people out there.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I have issues with this, too. My DS is 12, and he uses the computer that is in plain view where I can see what he's doing. Granted I don't watch him every minute, but we filter what he can and cannot do online. IM's are on the NOT list.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

no, I wouldn't allow it.

 

[disneymama73]

DD7 has told me she wants a laptop. Haha, I don't think so. I don't even have a laptop. She does IM my sister and one of her friends occasionally.

 

[WNDMom]

No. I wouldn't allow it either.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

nope - shared computer in family room , probably no IMing for a while....

friend of the family DD's got a lap top for Xmas - disappeared into her room with it and the first thing she did was look up some inappropraite sites....her parents are clueless about computers and all the advice on how to keep kids safe..the older kid (13) IMs her friends down in the basement and uses the computer with no parental oversight at all......

accident waiting to happen....

 

[SeaShelley]

I believe this is just asking for trouble. My 12 yo son has been after me for a while to get IM - nope! If you have something to say to your friends you have two options: pick up the phone and call OR send them an e-mail. He has an e-mail address, but it was set up with the stipulation that I have access to his password.

He even tried to negotiate the IM by saying it would help with his keyboarding (i.e. typing) skills.....yeah, nice try kiddo. I told him to sit down and type is grandparents a letter if he was so fired up about improving his typing skills!!!

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I believe this is just asking for trouble. My 12 yo son has been after me for a while to get IM - nope! If you have something to say to your friends you have two options: pick up the phone and call OR send them an e-mail. He has an e-mail address, but it was set up with the stipulation that I have access to his password.

He even tried to negotiate the IM by saying it would help with his keyboarding (i.e. typing) skills.....yeah, nice try kiddo. I told him to sit down and type is grandparents a letter if he was so fired up about improving his typing skills!!!

...and how did that go!?

 

[JVL1018]

My kids dont have their own computer--we have a laptop which is MINE and a desktop-also mine, , but I gave it over to the kids and DH when I got my laptop.
The desktop is in my bedroom, the laptop is usually in the living room.
My kids have their own AOL(Kids KOL) accounts and IM is available.
DD7 IMs me--and then she yells down the hall that she IMed me and did I get it?

 

[KikiFan]

I'd be really uncomfortable with a kid that age using the computer in complete privacy. I am thinking of getting my daughter a lap top but it won't have internet access. Just for playing games and doing school work.

I do however allow my daughter (11) to IM - but I've got her account set so that she cannot IM or email anyone unless I approve them first. Right now it's just her best friend and cousins.

 

[Aidensmom]

My son is 5 and has his own computer in his room, we also have two other ones.

He doesn't have internet access, however, at the moment. I do intend to buy a network cable long enough to reach the router in a room across the hall, but we would be well aware of when he was on the internet because, well, there'd be a cable going across the hall, and we could monitor what he does.

Six months ago I would have said he'd never have internet access, but I have come to realize there are some great things online for kids, and when he gets older I can always install some kind of filtering software on his computer.

 

[Hannathy]

I saw a very interesting interview with Bill Gates over the holiday's and he says that children should not have computers in their room and they should use them only where the screen is in full view of the parents. And the parents should know where the kids are and where they can go and the parents should regularly check where the child has gone. He also says all e-mails should be seen by the parents before being sent until around highschool age and then the parents don't have to preview them but should have an idea of who they e-mail to. Doesn't sound like there will be any private Iming going on at the Gates'

 

[binny]

My kids have IM on their computer ( desktop in the kitchen) DS11 is the only who knows how to use it and he has exactly 2 people on their me and my husband LOL

 

[flying_babyb]

My kids have IM on their computer ( desktop in the kitchen) DS11 is the only who knows how to use it and he has exactly 2 people on their me and my husband LOL

My aunts daughters are 6 and 7. They have MSN messanger but its on there computer in the family room. My aunt chose MSN because there are NO chat rooms. THey only use there MSN to talk to me. Acually as long as the computes in a main toom and the child is talking to family I think its great. My aunts kids are very happy to have this because then when I move away they can still talk and email me whenever they want (there very close to me and I often call them my sisters)

 

[golfgal]

I am not in favor of giving such a young child such an expensive gift but I don't have issues with the IM, depending on the site. My kids us the MSN messenger and can only IM with people on their list. The only people allowed on their list are kids they KNOW, not even friends of kids they know. We have had NO issues with this at all. Most of their conversations are like this:

hi
hi
how are you
I am fine
what are you doing
MSNing with you
oh, me too
BRB
got 2 go
bye
bye

One thing I found with the kids an MSN'ing is that their typing skills are great. When they were in 3rd grade and really started keyboarding their teacher encouraged them to use MSN with their friends to help their typing skills.

You can also save all their conversations in a file so you can see what they are talking about if you want.

 

[flipturngirl]

Well I have been able to use the internet and Iming since I was in 7th grade.. so 2001... We got our first "new space aged" computer the day after 9/11.. The computer has always been in the same place so my parents can see what my sister and I are doing. They do not allow internet access in our rooms I think until college. I think that a 9 year old should not have the access to a compter in their rooms or their own. A child can learn alot and play dumb really easily without there parents knowing. I know that when I have kids I will use netnanny and let them use the "family" computer and not there own.

 

[Amity 3]

our daughter is 13 and has her own laptop, our main computer is centrally located. we're on a wireless network and can monitor her IM's. she uses iChat to keep in touch with her old friends up north, and is invaluable to her for that reason.

but she knows we're watching, and have blocked several people we don't care for.

 

[DisneyPRPrincess]

Thanks for all the responses. It relieves us to know that we are not some dark age parents who are overtly strict when it comes to the computer. My oldest 2 do not have IM capabilities. They do play on the internet and visit sites that they like all the time, but I just feel that having IM capabilities at such a young age is just asking for trouble. Same with having a computer in your room.

 

[MushyMushy]

My DD isn't interested in IMing yet, and none of her friends do either, so it's not a worry. She does, however, want to DIS. I set up an account for her, but you've got to fax in a parental permission form that I just got too lazy to do.

I don't have a problem with it as long as she's on MY laptop, sitting beside me, and only on the teen board. My biggest fear is that she'll get teased because of her language skills, but it seems that the teens are much more accepting of that than most adults on here.