Ladies, sons and bathrooms

[aaarcher86]

Being aware that men commit thre grand majority of the sex crimes is trating men badly? They are jsut facts nothing else. I treat men as I treat everyone.

Did you know that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. Excuse me but i'm going to do the best I can to keep my children safe and I hope my son does the same if he decides to have kids. Sorry if that hurts the feelings of men.

You've made it very clear in this thread that you don't have a great perception of men.

You seem to like statistics. How many of those victims are victims from strangers? If you're going to distrust anyone, start with your father, your brother, your cousins, and uncles.

You keep using statistics, but they don't prove your point. Boys are less likely to get molested, and much less likely to get molested by a stranger. It's just fear mongering. Where are you even getting them?

 

[Tara1988]

Why can't you go into the men's restroom? Nothing to be ashamed of. Grown men shouldn't be bothered by a woman escorting her son, minding her own business. Right?

I don't have a problem with it at all. But the same people saying that it is wrong for me to take my little boy into the women's room will no doubt have a problem with a woman going into the men's room. (Not to mention that is actually illegal in Florida) But I have taken him into the men's room at a local establishment.

 

[aaarcher86]

I don't have a problem with it at all. But the same people saying that it is wrong for me to take my little boy into the women's room will no doubt have a problem with a woman going into the men's room. (Not to mention that is actually illegal in Florida) But I have taken him into the men's room at a local establishment.

I think you missed my point. I was pointing out the absurdity of the logic you used earlier.

 

[BLAZEY]

All our local pools have signs say that children 6 and over must use the washrooms and change rooms of their gender or the single stall family washroom. My DD6 is six and had made comments about boys that seem to be her age in the ladies room. I think once kids enter school the definitely become more aware of using the washroom appropriate to their gender.

 

[cruisingtwins]

You've made it very clear in this thread that you don't have a great perception of men.

You seem to like statistics. How many of those victims are victims from strangers? If you're going to distrust anyone, start with your father, your brother, your cousins, and uncles.

You keep using statistics, but they don't prove your point. Boys are less likely to get molested, and much less likely to get molested by a stranger. It's just fear mongering. Where are you even getting them?

Look little boys are put in a vulnerable position by being alone in a bathroom. Peeping/flashing/touching by strangers happens no it's not near as common as a family member molesting a child but it happens. Until my son has the maturity to scream, run and kick I'm not sending him alone into a mens room. My son is very shy and freezes in unconfortable situation so I don't know when that will be.

Me and my husband are in the same page. He would not like my son to go into a mens room alone until he's ready.

 

[Gracie09]

Look little boys are put in a vulnerable position by being alone in a bathroom. Peeping/flashing/touching by strangers happens no it's not near as common as a family member molesting a child but it happens. Until my son has the maturity to scream, run and kick I'm not sending him alone into a mens room. My son is very shy and freezes in unconfortable situation so I don't know when that will be.

Me and my husband are in the same page. He would not like my son to go into a mens room alone until he's ready.

That's fine and I and my daughters reserve the right to say something (or in the case of my daughters yell something) if he makes them uncomfortable, and at a certain age just by being in the ladies room he will make them uncomfortable. It may embarrass him but hey my daughters' safety is at stake.

 

[aaarcher86]

Look little boys are put in a vulnerable position by being alone in a bathroom. Peeping/flashing/touching by strangers happens no it's not near as common as a family member molesting a child but it happens. Until my son has the maturity to scream, run and kick I'm not sending him alone into a mens room. My son is very shy and freezes in unconfortable situation so I don't know when that will be.

Me and my husband are in the same page. He would not like my son to go into a mens room alone until he's ready.

Well, let's hope by 8 you've given him the tools to feel comfortable since it seems a lot of places have an age limit under that for boys going into opposite gender areas.

I don't think anyone is advocating for your 3 year old to man up and to in the men's room.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Look little boys are put in a vulnerable position by being alone in a bathroom. Peeping/flashing/touching by strangers happens no it's not near as common as a family member molesting a child but it happens. Until my son has the maturity to scream, run and kick I'm not sending him alone into a mens room. My son is very shy and freezes in unconfortable situation so I don't know when that will be.

Me and my husband are in the same page. He would not like my son to go into a mens room alone until he's ready.

No one is suggesting just thrusting a boy into the men's room when they aren't ready. What people are saying, though, is that there comes an age when - ready or not - it's no longer appropriate for a boy to be in the ladies room. If that time comes, and the child is not yet ready for the men's room, then it is the responsibility of the boy's parent(s) to come up with a compromise or solution to that problem that does not include infringing on the sense of security of the girls in the ladies room.

Might it require more work or effort on the parents' part? Yep..but the girls deserve just as much (note: not more, not less...just as much) respect for their comfort and readiness levels as boys do. It is possible to respect the comfort and readiness of both the boys and the girls in this situation.

 

[Tara1988]

I think you missed my point. I was pointing out the absurdity of the logic you used earlier.

It's not absurd. We're talking about children here, not adults. Maybe we should stop trying to sexualize everything and no one would be taught to be uncomfortable with going into a private stall, doing their business, washing their hands and leaving. No one should be in there to look at anyone else or interacting with anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to be taught that they should be uncomfortable. No one should be doing anything private except behind the closed stall door. Or are we teaching our girls that it is okay to undress in front of complete strangers as long as they are the same sex? Just out of curiosity, how do you handle outdoor venues with portable toilets which is essentially a bathroom stall out in the open. Are girls not allowed to use those stalls when there is a male within a certain distance?

 

[Angel Ariel]

It's not absurd. We're talking about children here, not adults. Maybe we should stop trying to sexualize everything and no one would be taught to be uncomfortable with going into a private stall, doing their business, washing their hands and leaving. No one should be in there to look at anyone else or interacting with anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to be taught that they should be uncomfortable. No one should be doing anything private except behind the closed stall door. Or are we teaching our girls that it is okay to undress in front of complete strangers as long as they are the same sex? Just out of curiosity, how do you handle outdoor venues with portable toilets which is essentially a bathroom stall out in the open. Are girls not allowed to use those stalls when there is a male within a certain distance?

Who is sexualizing anything? Wow! This is the problem, right here. When Gyou say your boy is uncomfortable in the men's room, that's OK...but stating that girls might be uncomfortable with having a boy in the ladies room past a certain age is sexualizing everything?

Dealing with menstruating as a young girl can be uncomfortable - even in your own home, much less in public bathrooms. Not because it's sexual, but just because it's new and so completely different than anything they've experienced before. Of course as a parent you teach them to become comfortable with it, but it's not like you wave a magic wand and suddenly all is comfortable. It takes time to become comfortable with it, and that time should be respected for girls just as much as a boy being uncomfortable in the men's room should be respected.

 

[Gracie09]

You've made it very clear in this thread that you don't have a great perception of men.

You seem to like statistics. How many of those victims are victims from strangers? If you're going to distrust anyone, start with your father, your brother, your cousins, and uncles.

You keep using statistics, but they don't prove your point. Boys are less likely to get molested, and much less likely to get molested by a stranger. It's just fear mongering. Where are you even getting them?

https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-offenders

 

[cruisingtwins]

That's fine and I and my daughters reserve the right to say something (or in the case of my daughters yell something) if he makes them uncomfortable, and at a certain age just by being in the ladies room he will make them uncomfortable. It may embarrass him but hey my daughters' safety is at stake.

How is an 8 year old boy in a bathroom with private stalls a threat to you daughter's safety?

 

[maxiesmom]

How is an 8 year old boy in a bathroom with private stalls a threat to you daughter's safety?

Have you taken a good look at the stalls in the restrooms at Disney World? I don't think there is a single one where it is a solid wall. Easy enough to see who is doing what inside without trying to. I have no problem with you bringing your son into the restroom with you, as long as he stays with you at all times. That means going in the stall with you, which shouldn't be such a big deal for you, right?

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Being aware that men commit thre grand majority of the sex crimes is trating men badly? They are jsut facts nothing else. I treat men as I treat everyone.

Did you know that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. Excuse me but i'm going to do the best I can to keep my children safe and I hope my son does the same if he decides to have kids. Sorry if that hurts the feelings of men.

Sorry, that is not true.

You might have meant to quote the debunked myth that 1 in 5 women on college campuses will be the victim of sexual assault. But even that isn't true.

You have a reliable source for your statistics, I would love to see it.

 

[Gracie09]

How is an 8 year old boy in a bathroom with private stalls a threat to you daughter's safety?

If they come out of their stall and come face to face with a boy in the ladies room, they may feel threatened. Its unexpected and not the norm. Are their feelings to be dismissed? You don't know what's going on with everyone in the restroom. I had a foster daughter that was repeatedly molested in the bathrooms of her home by relatives. It took her weeks to be in the same room as my husband without crying. We had "assigned" bathrooms so she knew only females used the bathroom she used in our house. For her walking out of her stall and running into an 8 years old would cause a breakdown. Young boys she was okay because "she could beat them up" in her words. So her real fears are to be dismissed because of someone perceived fears?

 

[cruisingtwins]

Have you taken a good look at the stalls in the restrooms at Disney World? I don't think there is a single one where it is a solid wall. Easy enough to see who is doing what inside without trying to. I have no problem with you bringing your son into the restroom with you, as long as he stays with you at all times. That means going in the stall with you, which shouldn't be such a big deal for you, right?

Personally I would have no problem, at 8 if I feel my kid is not ready to go into the mens room I may march him into his own stall and tell him to wait for me I don't know we'll see what happens then. But I still fail to see how an 8 yo boy is a threat. Not all little boy look in the gaps. And if it happens it should be corrected rather than banning all boys.

Like I said I feel different about changing rooms where there is a lot more nudity. But regular bathrooms meh.

 

[cruisingtwins]

Sorry, that is not true.

You might have meant to quote the debunked myth that 1 in 5 women on college campuses will be the victim of sexual assault. But even that isn't true.

You have a reliable source for your statistics, I would love to see it.

https://www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics

 

[aaarcher86]

It's not absurd. We're talking about children here, not adults. Maybe we should stop trying to sexualize everything and no one would be taught to be uncomfortable with going into a private stall, doing their business, washing their hands and leaving. No one should be in there to look at anyone else or interacting with anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to be taught that they should be uncomfortable. No one should be doing anything private except behind the closed stall door. Or are we teaching our girls that it is okay to undress in front of complete strangers as long as they are the same sex? Just out of curiosity, how do you handle outdoor venues with portable toilets which is essentially a bathroom stall out in the open. Are girls not allowed to use those stalls when there is a male within a certain distance?

Sexualizing what? If there's no reason for discomfort, why are schools not neutral gendered?

And my kids know there is a time and place for things. They know that locker rooms, bathrooms, etc there is a good chance that they may see someone's body. One is a swimmer and on competition dance, so she frequently sees strangers in various states of undress in an appropriate place - the GIRLS changing/locker/bathroom.

I can't picture what kind of outdoor venue you're talking about. Like a portapotty?

 

[Hikergirl]

It's not absurd. We're talking about children here, not adults. Maybe we should stop trying to sexualize everything and no one would be taught to be uncomfortable with going into a private stall, doing their business, washing their hands and leaving. No one should be in there to look at anyone else or interacting with anyone, so there is no reason for anyone to be taught that they should be uncomfortable. No one should be doing anything private except behind the closed stall door. Or are we teaching our girls that it is okay to undress in front of complete strangers as long as they are the same sex? Just out of curiosity, how do you handle outdoor venues with portable toilets which is essentially a bathroom stall out in the open. Are girls not allowed to use those stalls when there is a male within a certain distance?

Tara, you just don't get it. Your arguments make no sense at all.

 

[Tara1988]

Who is sexualizing anything? Wow! This is the problem, right here. When Gyou say your boy is uncomfortable in the men's room, that's OK...but stating that girls might be uncomfortable with having a boy in the ladies room past a certain age is sexualizing everything?

Dealing with menstruating as a young girl can be uncomfortable - even in your own home, much less in public bathrooms. Not because it's sexual, but just because it's new and so completely different than anything they've experienced before. Of course as a parent you teach them to become comfortable with it, but it's not like you wave a magic wand and suddenly all is comfortable. It takes time to become comfortable with it, and that time should be respected for girls just as much as a boy being uncomfortable in the men's room should be respected.

I don't see how this is the same. A child (boy or girl) having to go in a crowded bathroom alone because they have a different gender adult with them is not the same as a teenage/preteen girl using a private stall next to someone who they can't see and can't see them. If menstruation is that uncomfortable for them, they might be better off using a private family bathroom. Respect the privacy of the person in the next stall, and their gender won't be an issue for you. Seriously if a girl is that uncomfortable with and embarrassed by what they are going through, they would be just as uncomfortable and embarrassed regardless of the gender of all the strangers around them.