Ladies only, question about raising older teen dd's

[Tiggeroo]

When do you think a young lady should see her first obgyn. I have an 18yo dd who is living at home going to college. I have had lots of talks with her about birds and bees...She knows my values and is a good kid, but has had the same bf for quite some time. But she is pre-med and has years of school before she will be settling down(right now anyway) What I want to do is call my dr. and bring my dd in to get a good description of what goes into an annual check up and to schedule one. I want my dd to know that no matter what my beliefs are, she has a safe dr. to go to for birth control if she makes that decision, without me knowing about it. I want to speak to the dr. first and explain what Ihave in mind. I didn't go for my first check up until I was a bit older then her. What do you ladies think?

 

[disneychrista]

Age 18 is a good age to begin go to the GYN. Sooner if she is infact sexually active. This is what my mom always told me.

 

[Serena]

I don't know. But you might bring up the subject. Like you made your appointment and want to know if she has thought about when she's going to schedule her first one.

You're a good mom.

 

[helenabear]

I personally think 18 is a good age to go... sexually active or not. That is the age that both my sister and I started to go and it was picked based on age... nothing else. I think going starting that age (and sooner if sexually active) is a smart thing no matter what.

 

[pumba]

with the infirmary.....maybe she is ahead of you already.......I hope all girls that are sexually active get some sort of birth control .....so that their college is not put on hold...very hard to grow up before their time......hugs to yuo and your daughter.....almost forgot...because she is 18......she does not have to have anything told to you ......in the doctors office or in the infirmary

 

[Tiggeroo]

but even if she is, I would still want her to get regular check ups.

 

[NHAnn]

Originally posted by Tiggeroo
What I want to do is call my dr. and bring my dd in to get a good description of what goes into an annual check up and to schedule one. I want my dd to know that no matter what my beliefs are, she has a safe dr. to go to for birth control if she makes that decision, without me knowing about it. I want to speak to the dr. first and explain what Ihave in mind.

I think you are right on track with this approach, and like other posters, I think it's time even if she is not yet sexually active.
My DD's female pediatrician provides adolescent GYN care and will do so even through college for her regular patients (whereas usually at 18 or so the "child" would need to move on to a provider of adult primary care and/or OB/GYN provider).
I hope you and your DD are as fortunate as we have been in the triangle relationship between parent, child and child's health care provider.

 

[browneyes]

I was 19 when I had my first gyn check up.

My mom had uterine cancer when she was, I believe, 27 yo. She's always been adament about gyn checkups. She wanted me to go when I was 18, but I put it off until I was ready. I was ready when I was 19.

 

[froglady]

I had my first GYN check-up at 18, due to problems with my period. My daughter started having problems at the same age, so that is when I brought her...but only for her first. She's been on her own for follow-ups; I just schedule them for her during college breaks.

 

[The LK 4]

I am dreading those upcoming conversations with my children! My mother was always terrible about discussing anything with us. Everything was a big "secret". I hope to have a more honest and open relationship with both of my children. I think 18 is a good age for her first exam. Talking about what to expect is great, because I was totally clueless for my first exam and it was quite embarrassing!

 

[d.kurz]

thelk4: Your kids look young. I think you will find it easy to talk to them! I think they are exposed to so much of that info anyhow that it doesn't seem so secretive as it did with our parents. Both my kids DD14 and DS16 are really open on the topic and we discuss it easily. So easily that it embarrasses DH!!

And Tiggeroo....that sounds like a perfectly sensible plan! You ARE a good Mom!!!

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by thelk4
My mother was always terrible about discussing anything with us. Everything was a big "secret".

LOL! I got a book and a "If you have any questions, I'll find another book." I'm still waiting to hear about the birds and bees.

I've talked to my 9 yo a little about things, and they've shown her a video at school about things. She'd rather read a book, I think. She and my mom are A LOT alike.

 

[Serena]

My mom never told me anything about it. I've made sure to talk to my girls.

 

[momof2OH]

My daughter was having some problems when she was 9 so I took her to mine which happened to be the Dr. who delivered her so she thought that was cool. He didn't do a complete exam on her but confirmed for us what I thought was the problem. She was starting puberty, what fun and at the age of 9. It never bothered her or concerned her until recently when her Dr. told her that because she started at such a young age she has basicly stopped growing. Now she is mad, because she is only
4'11 1/2". She is now almost 14. She does know about what happens at the appt. We have a very open relationship and can talk about anything.
I really think it depends on the situation and the child/girl. Talking about it would be the first step and take it from there. If she handled that good then I might make an appt for her and I to go see the Dr. and let them explain specifics. I would atleast bring up the subject by the time she were 18. (all JMO)

 

[Jenzebelle]

Momof2oh -
If it's any consolation to your DD, I got my period at 9 and was very developed at a very young age. My Dr told me at 13 that I had stopped growing. Guess what? I grew an additional 3 and half inches over the next 5yrs.

As far as obgyn exams - I think 18 is the right age to start seeing a gyn. Not only for bc, but for health reasons.

 

[Ranatra]

My DD is in her first year of college and will be 19 in a few months. She just had her first ob/gyn exam over Christmas Break with the same female ob/gyn that I have gone to for years. We were both concerned that she might have endometriosis because of certain symptoms she was having.
The doctor confirmed this. Now I need to do some reading and find our more about this.
My daughter has always been very open and able to talk about anything with me. Course I started this at a young age with her and she feels very comfortable talking to me.
Why did our parents generation have such problems with this?

 

[kdibattista]

I'm 26 now and I first went around 17 or 18. Of course now when we are close to wanting to try and have a baby, my OBGYN closed because of the malpractice issurance crisis . I have to go find another one now.... not looking forward to it!!!

 

[Jeafl]

My ob/gyn recommends that all patients start seeing her at around 18, sooner if sexually active. My husband's cousin got cervical cancer at 19, so it may be a good idea to start getting regular pap smears if nothing else.

 

[momof2OH]

Jenn- Hey your post gives her hope! Thanks

 

[Disney Dee]

Originally posted by momof2OH
My daughter was having some problems when she was 9 so I took her to mine which happened to be the Dr. who delivered her so she thought that was cool. He didn't do a complete exam on her but confirmed for us what I thought was the problem. She was starting puberty, what fun and at the age of 9. It never bothered her or concerned her until recently when her Dr. told her that because she started at such a young age she has basically stopped growing. Now she is mad, because she is only
4'11 1/2".

My dd started her period at 9 also, and she is 26 now and 4'11". I believe its really because she comes from a very "short" family

She was having problems with her periods also while in college, at 18. I had been telling her it was time to go see my gbyn. I hadan appointment for her to go during winter break, I didn't tell her I had made one, I thought i would let her know when it would be to late to cancel it. But she called me afew weeks beforethe appointment and told me she had gone to planned parenthood! They put her on birth control to regulate her periods. I still took her to my gbyn because the dr at planned parenhood found something wrong. I did call the clinic she went to, but they would no discuss her case with me.and I didn't trust those drs. I forget what was wrong with her, but she did need some type of cauterization . Even my dr would not discuss my dd condition with me because of the privacy thingy, but they did tell me she was fine and needed no follow up care.