Vail, Colorado (NewsHax wire) -- Kobe Bryant's defense team has requested that their trial be moved from Colorado to Washington DC so that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas could hopefully take the bench for his impending rape hearings, said journalists covering the trial. The trial is the result of allegations stemming from a rendezvous which allegedly included non-consensual sex with a hotel employee at a recent stay in Vail, Colorado.
Justice Thomas has been on the Supreme Court Bench for over ten years now, but narrowly won his supreme court seat after a bitter confirmation involving his alleged and prolonged sexual harrasment of a former staffer, Anita Hill.
"I never said anything nasty about that [censored]," said Thomas recently, who is still forced to respond to what he calls "(h)einous exaggerations" from time to time.
Bryant's defense team is seeking Thomas because of his documented personal experience in these types of allegations, as well as his stature as a justice for the Supreme Court. "He get's it," said Bryant of Clarence Thomas. "I think he understands that when girls say no, what they really mean is yes, yes, YES!"
Meanwhile, the Lakers are in talks with NBA commisioner David Stern regarding the relocation of the Lakers to Colorado for the duration of Bryant's contract, with the hopes that even if convicted, Kobe can technically still play for the Lakers next season and beyond. "We didn't go insane by signing Malone and Payton in the offseason just so we could lose a championship next year. Kobe is going to playing in purple and gold next year and that is that," said LA Laker officials.
In the event of a conviction and jail sentence, Lakers representatives have struck a tentative deal with NBC and the Colorado penal system to promote and televise Lakers games from a specially constructed, fan-friendly and safe basketball arena somewhere within the confines of their minimum security prison network. The team expresses optimism that a compromise can be worked out allowing for Kobe to participate as a potential inmate under the provisions of Colorado's liberal work-release programs.
Justice Thomas has been on the Supreme Court Bench for over ten years now, but narrowly won his supreme court seat after a bitter confirmation involving his alleged and prolonged sexual harrasment of a former staffer, Anita Hill.
"I never said anything nasty about that [censored]," said Thomas recently, who is still forced to respond to what he calls "(h)einous exaggerations" from time to time.
Bryant's defense team is seeking Thomas because of his documented personal experience in these types of allegations, as well as his stature as a justice for the Supreme Court. "He get's it," said Bryant of Clarence Thomas. "I think he understands that when girls say no, what they really mean is yes, yes, YES!"
Meanwhile, the Lakers are in talks with NBA commisioner David Stern regarding the relocation of the Lakers to Colorado for the duration of Bryant's contract, with the hopes that even if convicted, Kobe can technically still play for the Lakers next season and beyond. "We didn't go insane by signing Malone and Payton in the offseason just so we could lose a championship next year. Kobe is going to playing in purple and gold next year and that is that," said LA Laker officials.
In the event of a conviction and jail sentence, Lakers representatives have struck a tentative deal with NBC and the Colorado penal system to promote and televise Lakers games from a specially constructed, fan-friendly and safe basketball arena somewhere within the confines of their minimum security prison network. The team expresses optimism that a compromise can be worked out allowing for Kobe to participate as a potential inmate under the provisions of Colorado's liberal work-release programs.
