KISSINGER HANDS IN REPORT SEVEN MONTHS EARLY
Critics Question Former Secretary of States Thoroughness
Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger raised eyebrows in Washington today by handing in his independent commissions report on 9-11 a full seven months early.
I suppose I could have sat on it longer for appearances sake, but I proofread it at Kinkos last night and decided it was good to go, Mr. Kissinger said.
Critics of Mr. Kissingers appointment to head the independent commission expressed concern that the report, which Mr. Kissinger reportedly took between four and five hours to write, could not possibly be thorough enough.
And their fears that Mr. Kissingers would fail to probe the Bush administrations handling of 9-11 seemed validated by the fact that the words Bush and administration do not appear anywhere in the 712-page document.
Instead, there are lengthy digressive anecdotes about Mr. Kissingers illustrious career, including a twelve-page gossipy account of his relationship with seventies glamour girl Jill St. John.
While the revelations about Mr. Kissinger and Ms. St. John are indubitably entertaining, its hard to see how they pertain to the assignment this independent commission was given, one critic of the report said.
On Capitol Hill, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said she would ask Mr. Kissinger to appear before the House to answer questions about the report, parts of which appear to have been copied from the best-selling memoir by NBA star Charles Barkley.
But in a statement released today, Mr. Kissinger said that such an appearance was unnecessary: I dont know what the Houses questions will be, but I submitted written answers to them two weeks ago.
**** BOROWITZ ON NPR THIS SUNDAY ****
Andy Borowitz discusses the profound impact the McDonalds obesity lawsuit has had on him this Sunday morning on National Public Radios Weekend Edition Sunday. Check local listings.
Critics Question Former Secretary of States Thoroughness
Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger raised eyebrows in Washington today by handing in his independent commissions report on 9-11 a full seven months early.
I suppose I could have sat on it longer for appearances sake, but I proofread it at Kinkos last night and decided it was good to go, Mr. Kissinger said.
Critics of Mr. Kissingers appointment to head the independent commission expressed concern that the report, which Mr. Kissinger reportedly took between four and five hours to write, could not possibly be thorough enough.
And their fears that Mr. Kissingers would fail to probe the Bush administrations handling of 9-11 seemed validated by the fact that the words Bush and administration do not appear anywhere in the 712-page document.
Instead, there are lengthy digressive anecdotes about Mr. Kissingers illustrious career, including a twelve-page gossipy account of his relationship with seventies glamour girl Jill St. John.
While the revelations about Mr. Kissinger and Ms. St. John are indubitably entertaining, its hard to see how they pertain to the assignment this independent commission was given, one critic of the report said.
On Capitol Hill, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said she would ask Mr. Kissinger to appear before the House to answer questions about the report, parts of which appear to have been copied from the best-selling memoir by NBA star Charles Barkley.
But in a statement released today, Mr. Kissinger said that such an appearance was unnecessary: I dont know what the Houses questions will be, but I submitted written answers to them two weeks ago.
**** BOROWITZ ON NPR THIS SUNDAY ****
Andy Borowitz discusses the profound impact the McDonalds obesity lawsuit has had on him this Sunday morning on National Public Radios Weekend Edition Sunday. Check local listings.
