KIM JUNG-IL ANGERED BY NFL OFFICIATING
Bad Call in Giants Game Sparked Nuke Decision, Aide Says
An aide to North Korean President Kim Jung-Il shed new light on the dictators enigmatic psychology today, revealing that Kims anger at a spate of bad calls by NFL officials had caused him to restart his countrys nuclear weapons program.
While no one in the West had even been aware that Kim was an avid NFL fan, his aide revealed this bombshell in an exclusive interview on the Fox News program, Fox and Friends.
Kim has been infuriated by the lousy officiating throughout the playoffs, the aide said. But when they failed to call pass interference at the end of the Giants game a couple weeks back, that was the last straw.
According to the aide, moments after the San Francisco 49ers defeated the New York Giants as a result of the bad call, the despot threw down his nachos and said, If they can get away with calls like that, then I can get away with making nuclear weapons.
The aide added that a terrible roughing-the-kicker call during last weekends Pittsburgh Steelers-Tennessee Titans game tipped Kim over the edge and caused him to pull North Korea out of the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT).
While no one can predict what the mercurial Kim may do next, his aide offered an ominous hint, warning that the North Korean leader was not a happy camper after viewing Mondays Peoples Choice Awards on TV.
He was really mad that Matthew Perry didnt win Best Supporting Actor, the aide said. If Perry gets snubbed at the Golden Globes, all I can say is, look out.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Bad Call in Giants Game Sparked Nuke Decision, Aide Says
An aide to North Korean President Kim Jung-Il shed new light on the dictators enigmatic psychology today, revealing that Kims anger at a spate of bad calls by NFL officials had caused him to restart his countrys nuclear weapons program.
While no one in the West had even been aware that Kim was an avid NFL fan, his aide revealed this bombshell in an exclusive interview on the Fox News program, Fox and Friends.
Kim has been infuriated by the lousy officiating throughout the playoffs, the aide said. But when they failed to call pass interference at the end of the Giants game a couple weeks back, that was the last straw.
According to the aide, moments after the San Francisco 49ers defeated the New York Giants as a result of the bad call, the despot threw down his nachos and said, If they can get away with calls like that, then I can get away with making nuclear weapons.
The aide added that a terrible roughing-the-kicker call during last weekends Pittsburgh Steelers-Tennessee Titans game tipped Kim over the edge and caused him to pull North Korea out of the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT).
While no one can predict what the mercurial Kim may do next, his aide offered an ominous hint, warning that the North Korean leader was not a happy camper after viewing Mondays Peoples Choice Awards on TV.
He was really mad that Matthew Perry didnt win Best Supporting Actor, the aide said. If Perry gets snubbed at the Golden Globes, all I can say is, look out.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
