Kids...the ultimate question

[LisainCalifornia]

I don't think my kids ruin anything for me, but that is because I adjust my attitude and expectations.

For example, our first visit to Disneyland when my son was 5 and my daughter 3, we went on....drum roll please....3 rides. For two days in the park. Out of those three rides we went on them muliple times (just how many times can you go on "it's a small world" without getting carted off to the funny farm? A lot! More than you think in the name of love!) and the rest was just too much for them.

We saw the parade and watched the fireworks from the hotel room both nights. It still is one of my favorite family memories.

If I had just been there with my husband of course we would have gone on many more rides and done different things, but this was a family vacation and the grown-ups have to adjust their attitudes and adapt to the level and needs of their child. My son at the time (the 5 year old) was deathly afraid of the characters, so we had to be sensitive to that. Now he is 13 and loves to hear the story of eating his dinner at Goofy's kitchen UNDER the table. We didn't realize at the time that he would have this character phobia (he didn't know either, as before the trip he was excited about meeting them, the outright fear didn't show itself until we got to the Disneyland Hotel) but as his loving parents we just had to go with the flow.

We have been many, many times since that first time, and now he is the first one in line for Screamin' and wants to ride every ride. My daughters only like certain rides, so we often split up for part of the trip. It is all about adapting for their age and comfort level so that everyone has a nice time. All the planning in the world can't change the personlity of a child.

 

[farmfresh]

For us Disneland is fun because of the kids. We do view it as family time. However, just because it is child friendly doesn't mean it is automatically always fun. The tips given show how planning realistically helps. I would add that, particualrly for first timers, reducing line waiting is important, and setting expectations about this is important. It's wortht considering a character breakfast to avoid park lines for this, and to help keep any plan running smoothly. It doesn't have to be a commando plan either, just one that keeps kid's and adult's different staminas in balance.

We are planning a surprise trip this time, but usually the kids are fully involved in choosing rides and itineraries before we go. It's exciting for them as well as a good way to set expectations. We build in down time etc.

Also - at some stage, a child might just have had enough even in the happiest place on earth! in which case, I think it's better to see it as one of those things, rather that something that 'spoils' a trip. Easier said than done,though

 

[bmoncher]

We are heading to DL for the 1st time with our children in 3 weeks. We have done WDW 4 times with children...
We have a general rule - We don't wait on lines that are longer then 5-10 minutes... we plan better the next time for rides that we "need to do" We use fast passes when we have to or we skip the ride..
Our Motto is - it will be here next time we come... I guess being DVC members it is easy to say that. We do go at least once a year for a week...

Children never ruin a vacation - they just help you make different choices...

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I stand corrected...to a certain point. "Kids can ruin a vacation........." Kids can disrupt any situation if the parent or adult doesn't plan well or intervene. But there are always those kids that no matter what you do...aren't happy and that makes for an uncomfortable time for their own family and those around them.

I understand what you're saying. When DH and I took our first child to Maui (he was 2yo), our favorite vacation spot, we were most dismayed that he
A) Did not like the beach because the ocean was "too loud!", and
B) Was perfectly content to spend all day playing with toys in the hotel room.

Traveling with children is entirely different than traveling just the two of you, that's for sure!

Here's what I learned:
1. Bring entertainment. Doesn't have to be a lot, doesn't have to be pricey. Crayons and paper, a few storybooks, yarn/string, whatever. Great for the plane, waiting in line, or resting in the hotel.

2. Have water and snacks at the ready! I agree with the others, a hungry child is a cranky child. Usual eating routines may be disrupted as more exercise might mean more hunger, so just have something on hand in case.

3. If your child naps, plan naps into the schedule. If your child is cranky without a nap, do not drag him through the park all day long and expect him to be happy to watch fireworks that night. It could happen, but you might all be happier if he's napped and refreshed for a late night. Also, don't drag them out of bed at the crack of dawn and keep them out until midnight every night and expect their best behavior. Kids need lots of sleep, especially when they're getting more exercise than normal.

4. Plan well. If your child is afraid of the dark, don't be surprised when he doesn't like the dark rides. Plan to take breaks, do quiet things in between big activities, etc.

5. Be flexible. With all the planning, you still have to be able to go with the flow a bit with kids, who aren't always predictable. If your child is wound up, don't try to watch Aladdin, go instead to Redwood Creek Trail to burn off some of that energy! Or if he changes his mind and doesn't want to duel Darth Vader, let it go. If the kids want dinner at 4:00 instead of 6:00, give them a snack or feed them a meal if that works.

The hardest thing we had to deal with was our older boy (6yo at the time) asking for every little souvenir he saw. He had his own Disney Dollars to spend, but I'd wanted him to wait to buy something toward the end of our stay, thinking he'd be sure to get exactly what he wanted, but it turned into two days of non-stop begging and whining. I finally caved, and told him that when his money was gone, that was THE END OF IT. He blew it all, but at least was no longer begging for stuff.

So now we let them get something to play with the first day or two, and try to get them to wait for anything else. That works for us.

But do whatever works for your kids and you.

 

[LisainCalifornia]

Let me make sure I understand your question.... you are NOT a parent, but you do care for children at your home that are not yours right? You are concerned that your friend is not planning realistically for her family, because "kids can ruin a vacation". Am I right so far???

First of all, taking daycare kids on a trip is totally different than taking your family on one. Having kids is different than having daycare kids. You have way more patience, love and an all around connection with your own children than with someone else's kids. Sure, you might plan big.... dream big.... think big.... but when it comes down to it, you know it won't be perfect and you know things will change, because that is life with kids!

When I worked in daycare (pre kids myself).... I admit, sometimes they did ruin my day. It was a stressful job dealing with kids and their parents all day.

However, my own kids could be complete tyrants.... and they could NEVER ruin my day, nor my vacation for that matter. Even when my son or daughter is having a complete meltdown and I am feeling stressed out, sweaty and grumpy.... I can still look at her/his screaming face and think "gee, she kinda still has the same facial expression now as she did when she was just a baby... awww that is kinda cute" even though I am really mad!

Having your own kids is just different.

Just my two cents!

That makes perfect sense to me!

 

[DevilDuckie]

I ellipses.

I love ellipses too, but an ellipse is three dots, no more, no less. "........." is not an ellipse, it's a long string of dots.


As to the OP's question, the biggest mistake you can make is to have too many expectations and try to shoehorn your kid into them. If the kid is happy sitting and watching the ducks for 30 minutes don't bother trying to chivvy him along because you have "too much to do!" Doing less at a relaxed, kid-driven pace is better than doing absolutely everything and stressing out the little one.

 

[Monkey Monkey]

I love ellipses too, but an ellipse is three dots, no more, no less. "........." is not an ellipse, it's a long string of dots.

Not to split hairs, but it's actually called an ellipsis.