Kids that aren't yours

[monkeyboy]

how do you discipline them?

or do you turn it over to their parents?

 

[Kath2003]

I've never had to - all the children I know have good parents who either taught them to behave or discipline bad behaviour without the need for someone to point it out to them.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Depends really. If they are at my house and don't follow some basic rules I will tell them about it. Other then that, I would leave it up to thier parents.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

You mean when they are at your house and the parents aren't??

I have neighborhood kids at my house DAILY. Ranging from age 5-11. I treat them like they are my own when they are here. I am constantly giving time outs, telling kids not to whine/complain, sending kids home if they are misbehaving (fighting with another child is a sure fire way to be sent home from our house).

I'm lucky, I think the neighborhood moms are just so thankful I let them play here w/my DS's they have always said for me to treat them like they are my own.

The kids don't seem to mind me giving "tough love". They are here almost daily, and have been for years.

Of course I wouldn't spank someone elses child......but a stern talking to, time out---fine with me.

 

[mamacatnv]

Well I guess it depends on what you mean by discipline..Verbal yes, physical never.

If a kid is at my house I have no issue reminding them of the rules.

If I am out and about I have been known to tell them to "knock it off" on occassion. I was at a graduation party last week and a friend of mine's son age 10 got mouthy with his Aunt. His Mom was not in the immediate vacinity. I told him that his comment was unnecessary, that he was being disrespectful and to apologize, which he did.

I am at the kids' schools alot and again have no issue telling a kid who is doing something they shouldn't to "knock it off".

I do not yell, scream or anything of that nature. I would never place a hand on someone else's kid but if they are being punks or are doing something that endangers themselves or others, sure I will say something.

I guess my what I do is partake of verbal discipline.

 

[KristiKelly]

I make them pull weeds.

Nah, I've never had any kids really act up at our house.

Oh wait there was one BRAT that threw a tantrum on our couch, told us how much he hated ds, us, our house, hated everything about us and wished he'd never come over. Sooo... we took him home.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I have a friend that this is a big issue with. Once when she was part of a group of friends visiting my house, her son (age 5) took one of my potted plants and up-ended it, dumping the whole thing (plant and dirt) on the floor. She sat on the couch and did nothing. I saw him pick up another plant pot and get ready to dump that, too, so I walked over and took the plant away from him. I didn't even yell at him, just rescued my plant. The mother then yelled at me!!

A month or two later, I have this same group of friends over, and this same mother has given this same little boy a pointed stick, and he's brought it from home to play with. Why she let him bring a pointed stick with him I'll never know, but of course he immediately started poking the other kids with it. One of the other mothers (who had a little toddler) saw he was poking her child (who was crying), and as before the mother was ignoring it, so she took the stick away from him. Again the mother got furious and yelled at the toddler's mother for taking away her son's stick!

So what are you supposed to do? My strategy? we don't invite that little boy over any more.

TP

 

[Robinrs]

Totally depends. If they are a relative I take care of it. If not I let their parents handle them.

Mostly I use my "look".

It can shut a kid up across a gym floor...

 

[L107ANGEL]

I have a friend that this is a big issue with. Once when she was part of a group of friends visiting my house, her son (age 5) took one of my potted plants and up-ended it, dumping the whole thing (plant and dirt) on the floor. She sat on the couch and did nothing. I saw him pick up another plant pot and get ready to dump that, too, so I walked over and took the plant away from him. I didn't even yell at him, just rescued my plant. The mother then yelled at me!!

A month or two later, I have this same group of friends over, and this same mother has given this same little boy a pointed stick, and he's brought it from home to play with. Why she let him bring a pointed stick with him I'll never know, but of course he immediately started poking the other kids with it. One of the other mothers (who had a little toddler) saw he was poking her child (who was crying), and as before the mother was ignoring it, so she took the stick away from him. Again the mother got furious and yelled at the toddler's mother for taking away her son's stick!

So what are you supposed to do? My strategy? we don't invite that little boy over any more.

TP

 

[jimmalru80]

Depends really. If they are at my house and don't follow some basic rules I will tell them about it. Other then that, I would leave it up to thier parents.

Well said. Unless they are smacking my children around or throwing my property around, I really don't have a right to get involved.

 

[disdanny]

Hit them with a little feng shui and hand them over to a cougar!!

 

[L107ANGEL]

Hit them with a little feng shui and hand them over to a cougar!!

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

I just like to curse them out

 

[monkeyboy]

Hit them with a little feng shui and hand them over to a cougar!!

Poll please

 

[TENIA66]

i have redirected, and redressed verbally, and in my mind, smacked a couple of hateful mouths.....no really, a quick don't do that or no, is fine, other than that, leave it to mommy.......

 

[lovetoscrap]

I have a friend that this is a big issue with. Once when she was part of a group of friends visiting my house, her son (age 5) took one of my potted plants and up-ended it, dumping the whole thing (plant and dirt) on the floor. She sat on the couch and did nothing. I saw him pick up another plant pot and get ready to dump that, too, so I walked over and took the plant away from him. I didn't even yell at him, just rescued my plant. The mother then yelled at me!!

A month or two later, I have this same group of friends over, and this same mother has given this same little boy a pointed stick, and he's brought it from home to play with. Why she let him bring a pointed stick with him I'll never know, but of course he immediately started poking the other kids with it. One of the other mothers (who had a little toddler) saw he was poking her child (who was crying), and as before the mother was ignoring it, so she took the stick away from him. Again the mother got furious and yelled at the toddler's mother for taking away her son's stick!

So what are you supposed to do? My strategy? we don't invite that little boy over any more.

TP

I have no problems telling someone elses kids what to do in my house. And I provide age appropriate discipline, including verbal warnings to having them clean up their mess to time out. And I often take toys or other implements away. If that "friend" had yelled at me she and Precious Jr would have been out the door so fast the screen door would not have had time to hit them in the fanny. My house, my rules. Never had a problem. I do have people that have never been invited back over though.

And with most of my friends we are close enough that none of us have a problem telling each others children what to do.

I also have no problem telling kids that are obviously misbehaving in such a way as to endanger or annoy themselves or others to cut it out--things like running at the pool or at the mall, screaming in enclosed places where it is not appropriate, climbing on things, crawling under bathroom stalls, etc... It is the teacher in me. I do it in the teacher voice and with the teacher look.

 

[phorsenuf]

I just like to curse them out

I've heard that about you...and you hit them with bats!

 

[LaraK]

Funny you should ask....DH and I were just talking about a funny incident last night.

We used to live in a very rough neighborhood....lots of young kids running around pretty much unsupervised. One day I was driving in my community and some kids decided to pass the time by throwing rocks at the passing cars. They threw a rock at my car so I stopped the car and got out to scold them. I stayed very calm and said that what they were doing was unacceptable behavior...they could hurt a driver or, even worse, they could cause a driver to swerve off the road and hurt them.

In unison all of their mouths dropped open that I had corrected them and then they howled with laughter. They thought it was the funniest thing in the world that I had stopped and explained to them in a calm manner the consequences of throwing rocks....they had expected me to yell and scream at them. It was the highlight of their year I think...they laughed and laughed and laughed.

By the way, they also then began to come to my house almost every day to stop by and talk to me, or ask for a glass of water, or ask me questions. I don't know that they'd ever had anyone scold them in that manner. They were my new best friends...until I moved out (which was soon after that as the neighborhood continued to go downhill)

I believe it is every adult's responsibility to correct a child doing something inappropriate and/or dangerous and I would hope that any of you would correct my children if they were not behaving appropriately.

 

[lulugirl]

Just give em' a good smack. Their parents won't mind....really

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I worked at a retail store and would frequently have to stop children from running, playing with merchandise, etc. Usually this was right in front of the parent and all I would have to do is a stern "stop running please" or "stop jumping on the couch please" and the parents would take over. I have also given "verbal discipline" to kids at church. Our church has a "you stop my kid from acting up and I'll stop your's" vibe to it. Other than that, a kid would really have to be very very bad to make me get on to him, but if I thought it was bad enough, I would.