Kids Taking Friends To The World . . .

[Wish Upon A Star]

DD has asked to take her friend with us to WDW. But it's not just a friend . . .it's her boyfriend . . .or as she calls him . . .her "fiance'"

DH and I both love this kid . . .BUT, when it comes to our family vacation I cannot see taking him. DD told him about our trip planning and he told her he'd like to come and he's willing to pay for everything he has to for him to go. That makes me feel bad, BUT, I cannot see taking him with us. DH would probably flip out if I even say anything . . .This kid has never been to WDW, which is also sad, but still . . . .

Then you can look at it on the other hand . . .DD would be very happy and pleasant the entire trip (even if she was PMS'***) she'd probably even be extra sweet to her brother.

 

[chager]

When I was 18 we went on a trip to TN for a week. My BF (now DH) went with us. I guess it depends on how comfortable you are with the BF. We also understood the trust level involved in order for him to go. It was a great trip overall. It is definately a decision that takes alot of thought.

 

[Disney Doll]

I guess several questions come to mind:
1. How long have they known each other?
2. How old are they?
3. How much do you like this kid?
4. What do his parents think (if he's under age)?
5. How will you manage sleeping arrangements?

If he's a good kid, and you like him, and can manage appropriate aleeping arrangements, and he's paying his own way, and none of the rest of oyur family minds, why not?

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

1. How long have they known each other?
Answer: 6 months by the time trip rolls around 11 months

2. How old are they?
Answer: DD will be 15 and the BF is 17

3. How much do you like this kid?
Answer: We like him ALOT, he's a real nice kid.

4. What do his parents think (if he's under age)?
Answer: He lives with his mom and unfortunately she doesn't care one way or the other.

5. How will you manage sleeping arrangements?
Answer: They definately will not be sleeping in the same bed. If we stay deluxe he'll have the day bed, if we stay moderate there will be connecting rooms with DD and DS sleeping in one bed and BF in the other.

But regardless I don't think DH will let him come.

 

[CEDmom]

Given their ages and the intensity that their relationship seems to have (a 15 yo calling her BF her "fiance" ) I don't think it's a good idea. I also don't think it's a good idea for a 15 yo girl to share a bed with her brother, but that's a whole other topic. Anyway, unless you're going to constantly chaparone, I think there's a lot of opportunity for intimacy that your DD is probably not ready for.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

CEDMom - I definately agree with you about the opportunity.


But I need to clarify . . .DD feels she has found her soul mate, the one she wants to be with. Which, by the way, I was the same age when I met DH and I've been with him ever since. They aren't really engaged, but they would like to be together and eventually get engaged when they are older. Their relationship right now is just dating, BF does come over once in awhile and they watch DVD's or DD, DS and BF play video games . . .he's like a 3rd child . . .

I'm appreciating the opinions . . .

PS . . .I don't really think DD will want to sleep in the same bed as DS either . . .I don't think its weird or inappropriate though . . .but DS is a bed hog and will probably end up kicking his sister out anyhow or stinking up the sheets . . .that's why when we go he sleeps on the day beds . . .

 

[GEM]

Yikes! I'd be much more concerned about my 15 year old DD calling her boyfriend (no matter how much I liked him) her fiance! That' a lot more intense than I'd be comfortable with at 15.

I probably wouldn't do it, just cause it sounds like it wouldn't be a bad idea for them to spend a little time apart.

(Also, I wouldn't wanted to have shared a bed with my brother at that age. I don't think there is anything wrong or inapporpriate about it, but I wouldn't have wanted to. Of course, I wouldn't have wanted to share with my sister or my mom, either.)

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'd probably consider it, but DD (if I had a DD) would be in the 2nd bed in our room and DS and the boyfriend would be sharing the other room.


Yeah, my husband wouldn't like it.

 

[cindysteve]

On the other side of the coin, I had one of those "I'm going to marry him one day" boyfriends that I DID NOT marry. There is no way I would go for this unless I could control the situation- DH and DS and BF in one room, and DD and myself in the other. If you think they can be trusted you need to go with your gut. If I remember relationships at 15, they might not even be speaking in 5 months, and I would hate to incur unnecessary expense for a 5th person.

 

[GoofItUp]

I agree with several other posters that I would not take the BF. I also would be concerned with a 15-yr-old who calls her BF her 'fiance'. While there are some HS relationships that work out forever (you, for example!) I wouldn't say that's the norm and I wouldn't want my teenager getting too serious about someone before she's a little more grown up. JMO, though!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I don't think I would take the DBF considering their ages. When I was 18 my parents took my DBF and I to WDW and DCL. Then when I was 20 his parents took us on DCL. It was perfect, but we had both graduated from High School. I knew he was the one and he knew I was the one. We were sure we were destined to be together, than 4 years later he broke up with me. We were together for a total of 5 years.

 

[Keli]

This would be a hard one for me because I would have to tell my dd no even though I would really like to have said yes. You want everyone to be happy and to have a good vacation and bringing the bf almost ensures dd will have a great time. Plus if you like the kid a lot and he's at the house all the time you kinda get attached to him yourself and you'd like for him to get to go. BUT your dd is only 15 years old. She doesn't have the maturity or wisdom that she'll have in a few more years. As much as I would want to say yes I know that I would actually say no.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with the above posters that say 15 years of age is too young to be calling someone your "fiance". But besides that, even if they have a positive relationship and you really like him, there are times when a nuclear family should go and do things by themselves. Kids grow up so quickly anyway, and before you know it, that time is gone.

I would tell your daughter that this trip is "family time" for the 4 of you. She may not like it, but I'm sure she'll come to understand.

Hope you have a great time at WDW.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

Thanks everyone for your opinions . . .

I did explain to DD that although I'd love for him to come that I felt that it was important that just us 4 spend the vacation time together . . .I explained that if she was older (like 18) then it would be a different story. She understood but she also said she felt bad because he never went to WDW and she wanted to show him how much fun it was. I understand that completely.

I told her that she could always call him on her cell or use our laptop to email him.

 

[chager]

I have to agree not to take him. I was 18 not 15 when now DH went with us, big difference I'm not sure the fiance thing is very good either. I have a feeling your daughter is somewhat like I am and wants everyone to have a chance to experience WDW Maybe you all could go again in a few years and take him with you (as long as he is still in good standing with you.)

 

[MsDisney23]

My DD is 19 and in her first year of college. She met a boy, who she now calls her boyfriend, and she ask me if she could bring him with us in May. My answer was "NO". My reason's where:

They had not been together that long.

What if they where not together by the end of May

Also I explained to my DD that I won this trip and it was not like I just said ok it's time for us to plan our Disney trip.

My DH is not going, he does not like Disney the way I do, so he told me I won this trip to take 7 friends and have the time of my life.

I explained to my DD that I would like to have her as my guest and that she would be allowed to bring one friend, but it must be a girl. as this is an all's girls trip. I am bringing 5 girlfriends. She was fine with that.

So it worked out. Good Luck.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Wish Upon A Star
2. How old are they?
Answer: DD will be 15 and the BF is 17

that's why I would say no