Kid's battles

[OhMari]

Do you help your kids fight their own battles. Or do you get on the phone and confront the parents or the other kids.

I know some situations can be criminal and you have to step in, but I'm talking about daughter comes home crying, cause girlfriends on picking on her.

I learned with my last daughter to let her fight her own battles. I wiped her tears and listened to her, but I won't do any calling or confronting. I know of some moms that get on the phone and make it their own personal battle with the other girls mom.

 

[JetMom]

I know how tough this can be. My oldest DS is in 6th grade and he had a little bit of trouble with a bully. We talked about the situation at home, but never stepped in actively.

I am almost embarrased to say that DS reached his breaking point and punched the other boy (sfter telling him 4 times to stop pulling his hair). Both boys got detention, which we felt was fair.

We have not had any bully trouble since.

 

[Allie322]

I try to let my kids handle the "playground politics" themselves but the mother of one of my daughter's friends insists on getting involved ALL the time. She feels the need to 'let it slip' over coffee how her child felt slighted or left out, etc. It is all petty little things that are all part of growing up. My child complains to me about the same stuff (Susie won't let me play with them, Johnny ignored me at lunch--that type of stuff). Many times, DD will complain about something hurtful or mean that this woman's daughter has done or said but I never say anything to the mother because I don't want to get involved in it. Kids will be kids and they need to learn how to deal with people and things. I tell them that it is the same as when they are older and in the working world--you don't always get along with everybody and you need to learn to deal with it. Obviously if it were something serious, I would step in. Sometimes I think we do TOO much for our children but this is one thing that they need to learn how to do on their own!

 

[disykat]

In general I try to just talk to my child and help them work out strategies to deal with it. If mom steps in too much - it could just make the target on the kids back bigger when she's not there.

The only time I've stepped in was in a true bullying situation. (My peanut allergic child was being threatened with peanuts in the lunchroom - which could be equated to having a weapon pulled on him.)

It's hard because there are times when an adult needs to intervene, but doing it too often can be a problem too!

 

[Scratch42]

This has been happening at our place since Saturday! Talk about a situation.

I sit, listen and let her handle it.

The funniest part was when she was trying to ask advice but was trying to use the "my friend" scenerio but kept tripping herself and the correcting herself! It was tough not to laugh knowing the whole time it was her and not "a friend".

Kids will be Kids and when it's situations where no physical harm comes their way, they have to deal with it on their own, but you gotta be there to listen!

It's times like this I'm glad to be a grown up!

Scratch