Kids and sleep issues

[Beth E. (NJ)]

On the boutique clothing thread we got around to talking about our kids and their sleep issues.

Since I wasn't sure how many people saw it I thought I would start a sleep issue thread.

Here's what's up with my younger daughter:

My kids have always been pretty good sleepers with typical phases of disturbance. Even when they were babies they were good sleepers -- like sleeping from 11:30pm to 6am at 6 to 8 weeks of age!

But now my younger daughter -- who is almost 9 years old -- has gotten into this nervous phase and she pops out of bed after bedtime with all sorts of worries. You know -- fire and bad stuff etc. She's very creative and always making up stories or doing imaginary play. I think bedtime and when her brain relaxes and then she thinks of things to worry about. So many nights she comes downstairs after I put her to bed and tells me that her stomach feels weird.

What about you all?

 

[twob4him]

Agreed! My kids went through a phase where they wouldnt sleep in their beds...anywhere else but their beds. Since I work during the day, I think they just didnt want to leave me and go to bed. So for awhile we let them fall asleep on the sofa while we were watching TV. Very bad I know. That went on for several months actually.This summer I have gradually gotten them back in their beds. I also bought my daughter princess sheets and a comforter so that helped to get to sleep with the princesses. With school starting back up I have to start getting them to bed earlier and getting them up earlier. In two weeks I have to have myself and a 2 and 3 yr old up and dressed and out the door by 7am!!

 

[tanyaandallie]

My 4 year old calls us up 900 times after we put her to bed. She tells us the eyes are looking at her. The eyes are circle handle things on her sliding closet doors. I think I need to cover them up, lol!

 

[kaysmommie]

I can sure relate. My DD who is 7 will not sleep in her bed. She wants to sleep with me in my bed. Her excuse is that their bedrooms are too far away from mine. Our house is a split plan but it's not really far. The funny part is DS3 happily sleeps in his McQueen bed every night. We have decoarted her room really nice and bought her a princess TV and DVD player. As well as many other gifts to bribe her. She takes forever to fall asleep in her bed and sometimes fght us and if she does fall asleep there she comes in ot our room eventually. usually we just bring her back to her bed but she cris unless we stay unitl she is asleep. We don't know what to do anymore and are at our wits end. She used to sleep in her crib every night very happily until she was 2 then she started occasionally wanting to sleep with us. When she 3.5 I was pregant with DS and was very sick so she slept in bed with me all the time then since I felt guilty since we didn't get to out and about everyday. She cries really bad almost to the point of making herslef sick. She just started 2nd grade and needs her sleep. I'm ready to call Supernannny to my house because I don't know what to do . I even told her if she makes it 1 whole night by herslef I would take her to Libbu LU she can get a Hannah Montana makeover. She doesn't care. What do I do?

 

[CastleCreations]

Agreed! My kids went through a phase where they wouldnt sleep in their beds...anywhere else but their beds. Since I work during the day, I think they just didnt want to leave me and go to bed. So for awhile we let them fall asleep on the sofa while we were watching TV. Very bad I know. That went on for several months actually.This summer I have gradually gotten them back in their beds. I also bought my daughter princess sheets and a comforter so that helped to get to sleep with the princesses. With school starting back up I have to start getting them to bed earlier and getting them up earlier. In two weeks I have to have myself and a 2 and 3 yr old up and dressed and out the door by 7am!!

I feel your pain...I used to have to be at work at 6:45. I lived an hour away and my baby sitter was 30 minutes in the other direction. So I would get up at 4 am, shower and get the baby and 1 year old ready, and try to be out of the house no later than 5 am...I'm still amazed how I did it for so long.

 

[pumpkin5156]

I am only a new mommy myself, but my DS has been a nightmare when it comes to sleep since the day he was born (no pun intended!). A friend recommended this book: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It deals with sleep issues from infancy to the teen years! It is so amazing, and my son sleeps 12 hours every night....no matter what!

There is a section on being afraid, night terrors, and even bed wetting! It is very cheap and I got mine at Target. Maybe it can help you mommies

 

[Pixieshouse]

Wow so many of us are in the same boat with kids about the same age! I wonder if that is part of it?

My DD5 almost 6 started to have what we think are night terrors this summer. She used to go to sleep on her own after her story and then stay in bed until morning. But now she is up usually at least once a night and we end up walking her back to her room. And it is usually I heard something or she thinks someone is trying to get into the house. Sometimes it is so hard to get her back to sleep I fall asleep in her room!

Now my other DD2 sleeps like a doll, hope I didn't just jinx it!!!

 

[dyna]

To funny I just got DD 17 sleepin in her bed again after about 5 yrs on the sofa she was ill for a couple years an during that time it was much easier for her to sleep on sofa as then I had a place to sleep near her too and had to be right there with her during the night.

She gets to drive to school for sleeping in her bed lol

 

[kaysmommie]

Wow so many of us are in the same boat with kids about the same age! I wonder if that is part of it?

My DD5 almost 6 started to have what we think are night terrors this summer. She used to go to sleep on her own after her story and then stay in bed until morning. But now she is up usually at least once a night and we end up walking her back to her room. And it is usually I heard something or she thinks someone is trying to get into the house. Sometimes it is so hard to get her back to sleep I fall asleep in her room!

Now my other DD2 sleeps like a doll, hope I didn't just jinx it!!!

No I'm sure you didn't jinx it , It seems to be the first child who doesn't want to sleep in their own bed. At least that's the case with most people I know. I don't know if we get smarter with the second child , or that the first borns just need more time with us. No sleep book is going to help DD, we have tried that long ago. She is older and wiser than most girls her age. But why she would not want to sleep in her beautiful room is beyond me .

 

[kaysmommie]

To funny I just got DD 17 sleepin in her bed again after about 5 yrs on the sofa she was ill for a couple years an during that time it was much easier for her to sleep on sofa as then I had a place to sleep near her too and had to be right there with her during the night.

She gets to drive to school for sleeping in her bed lol

This will probably be my DD, only she is not ill so she has no excuse. AT least your DD has a legit reason for not being in her room. Mine will get out of my bed when she goes to college .

 

[twob4him]

I feel your pain...I used to have to be at work at 6:45. I lived an hour away and my baby sitter was 30 minutes in the other direction. So I would get up at 4 am, shower and get the baby and 1 year old ready, and try to be out of the house no later than 5 am...I'm still amazed how I did it for so long.

Yikes! OK now I dont feel so bad! 5am???? Yeeshhhh You must have had to go to bed at 7pm!

I am only a new mommy myself, but my DS has been a nightmare when it comes to sleep since the day he was born (no pun intended!). A friend recommended this book: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbltuh. It deal with sleep issues from infancy to the teen years! It is so amazing, and my son sleeps 12 hours every night....no matter what!

There is a section on being afraid, night terror, and even bed wetting! It is very cheap and I got mine at Target. Maybe it can help you mommies

Wow sounds like a great book to read! Thanks!

This will probably be my DD, only she is not ill so she has no excuse. AT least your DD has a legit reason for not being in her room. Mine will get out of my bed when she goes to college .

You are probably not far off.




Here's what I keep thinking. We would never leave our kids "alone" during the day and always have them in eye or earshot. Then when it gets dark out (and "kary") we leave in alone in a dark room by themselves (with their active imaginations running) and expect them to sleep!!!

 

[badblackpug]

When our kids did the "scary" stage we used the "flashlight cure." The child was given a small, disposable flashlight to keep in the bed to shine on things he/she thought was scary. However, we warned them: Don't use it too much or the batteries will go dead. (this kept them form leaving it on all night) Eventually they came to learn that there was nothing in the dark that wasn't there during the day.

 

[wrighter]

Well it's nice to know I'm not alone, although I really hope I'm not still dealing my DD's sleep issues 4 and 5 years from now. She just turned 2, and has never ever ever ever ever ever gone to bed without a fight. She just doesn't want to sleep. Ever. Polar opposite from my DS4, who just lays down and goes to bed. Occasionally he tries to pull one over on me, but I never expect crying or whining or tricks of any kind.

DD will lay in her room for 90 minutes hooting and squawking and making a ruckus before she finally passes out. There's usually a lot of crying, too. I try to be consistent and persevere, but if things don't start getting easier soon it's going to get ugly. I've had some luck the past two nights letting her go to sleep with her new Tinkerbell lamp/nightlight. I can hear her turning it on and off, on and off, on and off, and then after she falls asleep I go in and turn it off. She's usually got a death grip on it and I have to pry it out of her hands, but for the past two nights I haven't had to go in there. Much. God bless Tinkerbell!!!

 

[tweedlemom]

My sons put up a fight about sleeping in their beds as well (when they were 3 and 4). So I bought some of those Disney "Read along stories" books w/cds. I put the cd on in their room, at a low volume, but loud enough for them to hear it. They knew if they talked they couldn't hear the stories. So they'd get quiet and listen really closely, and end up falling asleep! Sometimes it took awhile, but I'd just push the repeat function when I left the room initially, say I'd be back to check on them in 5 minutes (ended up being more like 15) and they'd fall alseep.

 

[laughinplace199]

DD went through something like that when she was about 6. She would have all these "bad thoughts" about fires, storms, etc. when she was supposed to be falling asleep. At first, I tried to get her to concentrate on happy things. "Think about our next trip to Disney" I'd tell her. A few minutes later I'd hear her saying "Now I keep thinking that Old Key West is on fire!" Since that didn't work, I invested in some "Bad Thought Spray". I filled a spray bottle with water and sprayed it around her room on the tough nights. Unfortunately, your DD is probably too old for that.

My DD is now 8. She will occasionally have a night like that. When she does, she is allowed to sleep with the light on. This seems to help her a lot. I then turn her light off when I go to bed. We have been having fewer bad nights since we let her read in bed for a half hour or so before going to sleep. I think having a book to focus on helps her mind not drift to the dark side!

Good luck!

 

[Gretchen]

Let me tell you about sleep issues!
First, do not flame me...but....you all need to get tough. Real tough. Watch Nanny 911, Super Nanny or buy one of Dr. Rosemond's books. Your kids are totally playing you. All this getting up at night, wanting to be with you, the house will burn down, etc, is absolutely normal so stop feeling guilty. Every kid has some kind of issue, either sleeping, eating separtation etc.
My experience has been with my DD with night terrors, no fun let me tell you. and my younger son with just about every other thing. So, I have been there and feel your pain.
You need to build a routine, and stick to it. No. Matter. What. You need to get your significant other on the same page. Kids will divide and conquer, even the youngest ones. If kids are afraid of the dark, get a night light, flash light etc. We used some monster spray for dd, and had a monster magic spell to make them stay away. I'll post more on the night terrors in another reply.
DS used to get up (really sleepwalk) and jump up and down in his crib. All night, and I mean all night, like for 4-5 hours. That kind of thing you just need to roll with. We did everything, he finally grew out of it.
As far as not wanting to sleep in such a beautiful room with lots of stuff-that is the problem. Too much stuff, you need to take it out, and when said child sleeps in their room, child gets it back.
OP-my dd did the same thing when she turned 9. We have a strict rule, never ever broken, no one sleeps anywhere but in their bed. Ever. DD would get all worried and really work herself up. I taught her some relaxation techniques (a la yoga, etc.) She would worry about what whould happen if we (mom and dad) died, etc. So, we talked about it, what to do, where she would go. We had a plan for getting out of the house, etc. We then told her that if she couldn't stay in her room and relax, that meant that she was over tired and really should have an earlier bed time. That one really works. Once a nine year old realizes that they have to go to be earlier???
Anyway, you need to get a plan, stick to it, stick to your guns. Remember, you are the boss, not the kid. Go Nanny 911 on them!
Again, I mean no disrespect.
Gretchen

 

[hoosiergirl7]

Let me tell you about sleep issues!
First, do not flame me...but....you all need to get tough. Real tough. Watch Nanny 911, Super Nanny or buy one of Dr. Rosemond's books. Your kids are totally playing you. All this getting up at night, wanting to be with you, the house will burn down, etc, is absolutely normal so stop feeling guilty. Every kid has some kind of issue, either sleeping, eating separtation etc.
My experience has been with my DD with night terrors, no fun let me tell you. and my younger son with just about every other thing. So, I have been there and feel your pain.
You need to build a routine, and stick to it. No. Matter. What. You need to get your significant other on the same page. Kids will divide and conquer, even the youngest ones. If kids are afraid of the dark, get a night light, flash light etc. We used some monster spray for dd, and had a monster magic spell to make them stay away. I'll post more on the night terrors in another reply.
DS used to get up (really sleepwalk) and jump up and down in his crib. All night, and I mean all night, like for 4-5 hours. That kind of thing you just need to roll with. We did everything, he finally grew out of it.
As far as not wanting to sleep in such a beautiful room with lots of stuff-that is the problem. Too much stuff, you need to take it out, and when said child sleeps in their room, child gets it back.
OP-my dd did the same thing when she turned 9. We have a strict rule, never ever broken, no one sleeps anywhere but in their bed. Ever. DD would get all worried and really work herself up. I taught her some relaxation techniques (a la yoga, etc.) She would worry about what whould happen if we (mom and dad) died, etc. So, we talked about it, what to do, where she would go. We had a plan for getting out of the house, etc. We then told her that if she couldn't stay in her room and relax, that meant that she was over tired and really should have an earlier bed time. That one really works. Once a nine year old realizes that they have to go to be earlier???
Anyway, you need to get a plan, stick to it, stick to your guns. Remember, you are the boss, not the kid. Go Nanny 911 on them!
Again, I mean no disrespect.
Gretchen

I would never flame you because I totally agree with you. We started a routine with our son when he was 12 weeks old! Now that he's almost 4 he's been playing the getting out of bed game for about 6 months and it's annoying as all get out. DH loses his patience must faster than I do with the bedtime situation, but DS doesn't do it every night. It goes in spurts. He'll stay in bed for weeks and then he'll start it. We hope he grows out of it fast because it's driving us nuts. We stick firm to putting him back in bed all the time and not allowing him to play us but it's not easy.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

We had to get tough with the older one when she was around 2 2 1/2 years old -- she used to get out of her bed each night and come into ours. Then she would give us the hardest time about going back to her bed. The problem was that since she had woken us from a sound sleep we were too tired to fight with her and she ended up staying in our bed too many nights.

Before this problem she had slept fine in her own bed. But suddenly -- ack! The other issue was the fact that she was a whirling dirvish in her sleep. She rolled and even turned sideways. She ended up taking up all the room and DH and I were at opposite edges of the bed.

We finally told her she could come in but not sleep in our bed. So whenever she got scared dh would take her toddler mattress from her bed and put it on our floor for her. The problem was that it was happening very often and it was disruptive. The teacher at mommy and me told us that she had sleeping bags for her kids that they would use, but they had to bring them in themselves. But come on -- she was a tiny 2 year old no way she could drag a sleeping bag.

Finally, DH's cousin told us we had to use tough love. She could come in, but she couldn't have her bed. she had to sleep on the floor. I struggled, but in all reality we had new, really soft carpeting. The cousin said that if we made it too nice for her she wouldn't want to sleep in her own room. So she came in and slept on the floor (with a blanket.) That happened for a couple of nights and then she started moving towards our door. the next night she slept at the door and then in the hallway (which was ok -- we kept the gate at the top of the stairs closed.) After that she actually slept on her own floor and then finally back in her bed. That was the end of that problem.

We also had monster spray at one time. I decorated a spray bottle with stickers labeled to read "monster spray." She was allowed to spray it a few times around her room. We had to limit the number of sprays or she would have soaked her room.

 

[LisaZoe]

My DD was always a great sleeper. She slept with me for the first couple of months but when I moved her to her crib, she did fine. Bedtime was so simple and quick. I'd put her in bed, give her a hug and kiss then told her to sleep well, said I love you and wished her good night. I rarely heard a peep from her until morning. Once she got a little older and had enough imagination to get scared of the dark, I left the hall light on and she had a nighlight in her room. Again, that was enough. She's a very sound sleeper, too, so I didn't have to worry much about making noise once she was in bed. I once braided her hair as she slept which required moving her around and she never woke LOL. In fact I worried she'd have trouble being potty trained at night since she slept so soundly... although that went pretty smoothly with only a few accidents.

About a year ago bedtime changed. She gets up several times most nights to complain of aches (bedtime was the first I heard of them), to say she was scared, wanted another hug, had a question for me, etc. It's been very frustrating because being firm, tough and even mean hasn't worked. She doesn't sleep with me unless she's sick but I do let her fall asleep in my bed Saturday nights if she wants.

 

[design_mom]

My DS (almost 7) has always been a good sleeper -- except for a particularly nasty bout of night terrors from about 14-18 months old. However, he's recently started having more sleep issues.

When he's continually coming up with a new reason why he's "afraid" to go to sleep, we do the same thing laughingplace suggested. Then I just turn off the light after he's asleep.

My DD is now 8. She will occasionally have a night like that. When she does, she is allowed to sleep with the light on. This seems to help her a lot. I then turn her light off when I go to bed.

However, he's recently started to sleepwalk. Last week he apparently thought he was in the bathroom, but he was at the top of the stairs instead. Very scary (and very messy). He didn't remember a thing in the morning. So far that's been our only "mishap", but... I don't care for this sleepwalking thing one bit!