Kids and Santa

[karynnix]

My DD has been saying this year that she has Santa all figured out and knows that it's me and Daddy. That's fine and I knew that it was coming. Not upset at all. The trouble that I am facing is my DS. He has autism. If I don't sit him down and tell him, he will just go on believing forever. I don't see any problem with him going on believing, but I don't want for him to get laughed at in school or find out the truth from someone else. If he is going to know the truth, I want for it to come from me. So my question is, how did you explain it to your kids?

 

[breezy1077]

Let him go on believing. I was 11 when I realized it. There's no harm in believing in the magic for another year or two.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

No real advice because mine just figured it out the way your daughter did, no trauma, no big announcement, they just figured it out and I never really outright confirmed it. They were excited to be "in on it" for the younger ones so Santa was still fun for them. I still have one believer but I don't know how much more mileage Santa has with him.

 

[SamIAm21]

The problem I'm having with Santa is that Santa can afford "anything" and DD wants some pretty expensive stuff this year, A Wii, an American Girl Doll, an iPod, etc. etc. Of course, I have no plans on getting her all that. So, I told her Santa was having some problems given the current economy. Of course she doesn't understand the economy issues, but I needed to start gearing her expectations downward now. At 8, I guess I'm just glad she still believes.

Posted in white just in case...

 

[karynnix]

No real advice because mine just figured it out the way your daughter did, no trauma, no big announcement, they just figured it out and I never really outright confirmed it. They were excited to be "in on it" for the younger ones so Santa was still fun for them. I still have one believer but I don't know how much more mileage Santa has with him.

Yeah, I've been able to enjoy it for many years...mine are 3rd and 5th grade!! One concern that I have with Jack figuring it out on his own is that he would be upset that we didn't tell him. Children with autism are tricky to deal with.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

The problem I'm having with Santa is that Santa can afford "anything" and DD wants some pretty expensive stuff this year, A Wii, an American Girl Doll, an iPod, etc. etc. Of course, I have no plans on getting her all that. So, I told her Santa was having some problems given the current economy. Of course she doesn't understand the economy issues, but I needed to start gearing her expectations downward now. At 8, I guess I'm just glad she still believes.

Posted in white just in case...

Maybe you could tell her Santa wants to make sure there are enough toys to go around for all the kids and the elves can only make so many because of elf labor laws?

 

[MineeBaby]

My brother, who did not have autism, believed until he was 12. No one made fun of him and it never came up as a thing at school where he could be made fun of. My parents sat down with him when he was 12 and told him that Santa is not the person who brings presents, but idea behind Santa (giving to others, the spirit of Christmas, the love you have for others, the joy of Christmas and Jesus's birth, etc.) will always be there and is what makes Christmas so wonderful and special. So, while there is no man in a big red suit, there is still all the excitement of Christmas every year because we can embody the spirit behind Santa in our joy of the season (and the birth of our Christ if you so choose to include this part)

I wouldn't worry about it too much. There is something special about the innocence of childhood and I wouldn't take it away before the child is able to view it as I mentioned above.

 

[Erin1700]

My DD is 7 and she not only believes, she wants to be Santa when she grows up! We keep telling her she will be, but she doesn't realize in what way we mean!
Let him believe but if you really feel you need to tell him, wait until after this Christmas. We are close enough to it already that it would be a shame to tell him now.

 

[karynnix]

I know that there is nothing wrong with letting them believe. I have already decided to talk to him, and I just need suggestions on how to do that. I like the idea of bringing Christ's birth into the talk. I will do that. Thanks!!

 

[Mickeyistheman]

Wait a minute?

I know Santa personally and I can even give you his phone #.

Maybe he could call you and talk to your son or daughter and explain how it works......

If you don't beleive me PM me and I can give you all the information that you need.

Trust me Santa is alive and well, I am 30 years old and a believer!!

 

[Tink888]

WHAT?!?!?! There's no Santa??? What do you mean there's no Santa?

Seriously though - don't tell your son and ruin the magic. Let him believe for as long as he will. My boys are 13 & 11. Obviously the older one knows. My younger one is suspicious but there's a part of him that still believes.

I have never and will never outright admit to them that there is no Santa. They might be in their 30's and embarassed that their mom seems to still believe in the white-bearded man in the red suit but I will never admit to them otherwise.

There are too many things in this world to ruin a child's innocence and kill some of the magic of Christmas. I may be in denial but I'm going to hang onto to as much magic as I can for as long as I can and I want my kids to do the same.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Maybe have Santa himself do the talking.

http://www.santabot.com/

 

[lovetoscrap]

When I had a talk with my older daughter who was "pretty sure" she had it figured out, I started with the legend of Santa and how he used to be real and bring treats to kids (we had read those stories before) and told her that the fun and magic of Santa is something that parents want to give to their children as it is has been for hundreds of years. So the spirit of "Kris Kringle" lives on in parents everywhere as they keep the magic alive. Then I also told her that if she told her little sister the truth her present intake would seriously go down! So far, so good!

The funny thing it was another year before she figured out that the Tooth Fairy wasn't real!


My brother is developmentally disabled and my parents didn't tell him until he was 18! They didn't want him made fun of at work. He had been told by kids in the past but he just didn't belive them! There is something special about the innocence of those that remain childlike and can keep believing in the magic.

 

[karynnix]

When I had a talk with my older daughter who was "pretty sure" she had it figured out, I started with the legend of Santa and how he used to be real and bring treats to kids (we had read those stories before) and told her that the fun and magic of Santa is something that parents want to give to their children as it is has been for hundreds of years. So the spirit of "Kris Kringle" lives on in parents everywhere as they keep the magic alive. Then I also told her that if she told her little sister the truth her present intake would seriously go down! So far, so good!

That's great!! Thanks!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I don't understand the approach *alot * of people have on the Santa thing. First off... (not religion based people)..and Yes, we told our daughter their is a Santa. That he is magical and works in mysterious ways to deliver toys and gifts to people all over the world. But we never gave specifics.. And when she said there was no santa..we said it was her decision to believe or not.

***I really think that "lying" to kids about some imaginary character that brings them things is "wrong". ESP if you are going to tell them someday the "truth".*** I still believe in Santa as an OLDER person..i believe in his magic:the happiness and wonder he brings to the world on christmas morning.
Sometimes, "santa" has to work through parents and sometimes he work's through other avenues like charity's that delivery presents or whatever. But the spirit and magic of santa is always around..that time of year. And that that child can be Santa's helper too and deliver gifts and toys to other people and envoke that same feeling of happiness and magic in someone else's life.
I guess in my mind..the trade off is..when kids are young it's fun to pretend there is a magical flying sleigh that delivers presents..but as they get older..it's also nice to remember and celebrate Santa in a different way..Instead of just pretending he was all just ONE BIG FAT LIE!

 

[castleview]

I think I'll be Ok for another year at least. DD9 read Super Fudge and Double Fudge a few months ago and it was mentioned I read one of those books as a kid and didn't recall that. Anyway, Mrs. Clause wrote her a letter saying that many children have written to her regarding those books. Mrs. C straightened her out.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

Maybe you could tell her Santa wants to make sure there are enough toys to go around for all the kids and the elves can only make so many because of elf labor laws?

we always told my kids that santa doesn't do electronic toys... and keep "Santa" gifts to a few items that are unwrapped. Then Mom and Dad can give a $$$ limit for anything else. Worked for us...

To the original poster- Autistic kids are difficult- I did some subbing in the selfcontained class in middle school- and for the most part the other kids in the school understood the situation and would not have told them about Santa. I know some kids can be cruel but I saw a lot of compassion.

My son had Asperger's and pretty much figured it all out on his own early but wouldn't admit to until his younger sister did too.

 

[breezy1077]

Yeah, I've been able to enjoy it for many years...mine are 3rd and 5th grade!! One concern that I have with Jack figuring it out on his own is that he would be upset that we didn't tell him. Children with autism are tricky to deal with.

My son has ASD (PDD-NOS) - trust me he'll probably be upset either way. I'd rather have DS upset with me and believe a little longer, but that's me.

Good luck with this situation. Right now, I'm dealing with DS wanting to go on a field trip to see God for his birthday. Ahhhh, ya gotta love 'em.

 

[clarabelle]

We played Santa down from the get go and focused on the religious aspects.
We had kind of a don't ask don't tell policy. The minute they asked me seriously we told them.
We try to do lots of other things. Looking at lights, advent wreath with a service written for the home, charity, baking sometimes a little traveling.
So there is so much going on that the Santa thing is secondary.
We also talked about Santa from a historical perspective.

I understand that the Autism brings in a whole new perspective. I am sure you will come up with something that will work for your family.

 

[karynnix]

We played Santa down from the get go and focused on the religious aspects.
We had kind of a don't ask don't tell policy. The minute they asked me seriously we told them.
We try to do lots of other things. Looking at lights, advent wreath with a service written for the home, charity, baking sometimes a little traveling.
So there is so much going on that the Santa thing is secondary.
We also talked about Santa from a historical perspective.

I understand that the Autism brings in a whole new perspective. I am sure you will come up with something that will work for your family.

Thank you.