Kids and Cellphones: This is one reason why...

[paintnolish]

Sat. afternoon the phone rings (caller I.D. indicates it is a cell), I answer but nobody is there. Sat, night, almost midnight, the phone rings with the same number as earlier. I answer. After a lot of fumbling on the other end, a child asks for my dd...my 8 year old dd! I said, "No. She's sleeping, just like you should be". I then asked her name, and it first she told me it was a friend. Then she gave me her name. I politely asked told her to go to bed and call dd during the daytime. She has called us several times since then, most recently a few minutes ago to apologize for calling so much!
Apparently, it is all the rage for 3rd graders to have cellphones. DD wants to know when she can have one! Why? So she can do stuff like this? Heck no! I told her when she was older, like over 12 or so, and if she was engaged in activities (sports, after school clubs, etc.) and NEEDED a phone, I would get her one.
So, this is mostly a vent, but it does prove my point to dd!

 

[AnneR]

OMG - you sound just like me. My youngest is now 12 and I just broke down and got her a phone but it is a pay as you go plan which means if she calls too many people or sends too many text messages sorry about your luck. I am putting $15 per month on the phone. I am amazed at how my chatterbox is working on managing her minutes. It is the first month though so time will tell.

My girls would have ended up telling their friend that mom was not happy with the phone calls and not to do it again.

 

[Sparx]

if she had a phone she would be the one getting late night calls on HER phone, and not waking you up. just a thought.

 

[IDoDis]

I'll never be convinced that there is a good reason for an 8 year old to have a cell phone. Obviously this friend of your DD's feels she must use her phone at all hours only because she has one! If she didn't have one, she most likely would not be up at all hours using a land line.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Sat. afternoon the phone rings (caller I.D. indicates it is a cell), I answer but nobody is there. Sat, night, almost midnight, the phone rings with the same number as earlier. I answer. After a lot of fumbling on the other end, a child asks for my dd...my 8 year old dd! I said, "No. She's sleeping, just like you should be". I then asked her name, and it first she told me it was a friend. Then she gave me her name. I politely asked told her to go to bed and call dd during the daytime. She has called us several times since then, most recently a few minutes ago to apologize for calling so much!
Apparently, it is all the rage for 3rd graders to have cellphones. DD wants to know when she can have one! Why? So she can do stuff like this? Heck no! I told her when she was older, like over 12 or so, and if she was engaged in activities (sports, after school clubs, etc.) and NEEDED a phone, I would get her one.
So, this is mostly a vent, but it does prove my point to dd!

This doesn't prove any point about cell phones.

This is not a cell phone issue but a parenting issue.

The child could just as easily have slipped the cordless landline phone to her bedroom to call your daughter at midnight.

One solution that many of our friends utilize is having a family docking/charging station in a public area of the house. At a certain time, all kids' phones are turned off and put on the chargers at night.

 

[Ohiodislover]

This doesn't prove any point about cell phones.

This is not a cell phone issue but a parenting issue.

The child could just as easily have slipped the cordless landline phone to her bedroom to call your daughter at midnight.

One solution that many of our friends utilize is having a family docking/charging station in a public area of the house. At a certain time, all kids' phones are turned off and put on the chargers at night.

I agree. Some of my DD's friends call her much later than I like--11:30ish. And it's not from a cell.

 

[r4blessings]

Wow! My son who is 11 has his own cell phone which I love, b/c he can always get me if he needs to while at one of his sports games or clubs or at a friends house. BUT, if he wants to call a friend after school or in the early evening he must do so on our house phone. His cell is only to be used when he is outside our house. It does sound more like a parenting issue!

 

[IDoDis]

Wow! My son who is 11 has his own cell phone which I love, b/c he can always get me if he needs to while at one of his sports games or clubs or at a friends house. BUT, if he wants to call a friend after school or in the early evening he must do so on our house phone. His cell is only to be used when he is outside our house. It does sound more like a parenting issue!

Don't you go to his sports games and don't his friends have phones in their homes he could use? Just curious.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Don't you go to his sports games and don't his friends have phones in their homes he could use? Just curious.

I was thinking the same thing. My son is 11 also. I am still with him for all sporting practices and games. And if he is at a friends house he could use their phone.

To each their own , but my kids will be in at least middle school (7th grade) before they get their own phone. It will be because he starts going places with friends without me and if he needs me he can get a hold of me, .

Of course DS wants one now. Absolutely not. I told him no reason, you are with your dad or me all the time or with the parents of one of your friends who have a phone. If he wants to foot the bill OK, but he hasn't agreed to that yet.

 

[r4blessings]

I am at all his games, but not necessarily at all his practices. I have four kids and my DH is a high school coach so he is not around at all in the afternoons to help bring them places. So a lot of times I will drop him off at Lacrosse practice or soccer practice, take another child to dance or where they have to go, and then swing back around to pick him up.

And yes, his friends do have phones, but I personally like the privacy it affords him to call or text me. He was at a friends pool party back in June and things were getting out of hand, a lot of rough play, spats and wild behavior. He was able to text me to pick him up early without having everyone knowing that he wasn't having fun.

In our school district the kids go into the middle school at 5th grade, which is what grade my son is in and although he does not bring his phone to school, for our family it makes us more comfortable for him to have his own phone when he is out without us.

 

[Sparx]

I am at all his games, but not necessarily at all his practices. I have four kids and my DH is a high school coach so he is not around at all in the afternoons to help bring them places. So a lot of times I will drop him off at Lacrosse practice or soccer practice, take another child to dance or where they have to go, and then swing back around to pick him up.

And yes, his friends do have phones, but I personally like the privacy it affords him to call or text me. He was at a friends pool party back in June and things were getting out of hand, a lot of rough play, spats and wild behavior. He was able to text me to pick him up early without having everyone knowing that he wasn't having fun.

In our school district the kids go into the middle school at 5th grade, which is what grade my son is in and although he does not bring his phone to school, for our family it makes us more comfortable for him to have his own phone when he is out without us.

i couldn't agree more! i remember feeling that same way, and knowing my mom could come get me at any time.

 

[luvmy3]

I'll never be convinced that there is a good reason for an 8 year old to have a cell phone. Obviously this friend of your DD's feels she must use her phone at all hours only because she has one! If she didn't have one, she most likely would not be up at all hours using a land line.

Until your child is at summer camp with an injury and the counselor doesn't bother to make sure they are dialing the right number on your contact list and ends up having your dd leave a message on somebody elses cellphone crying that she needs you to pick her up. Yes, after that my dd had her own cell at 8 because there was no way I trusted I'd get any calls if needed especially since my ds was with her and it was right after he was diagnosed with asthma and I was so paranoid about something happening to him. That was definitely my good reason for having one. My ds, who is now 8 could care less about a phone and if he wanted one I wouldn't get him one either. He doesn't have a good reason yet

This doesn't prove any point about cell phones.

This is not a cell phone issue but a parenting issue.

The child could just as easily have slipped the cordless landline phone to her bedroom to call your daughter at midnight.

One solution that many of our friends utilize is having a family docking/charging station in a public area of the house. At a certain time, all kids' phones are turned off and put on the chargers at night.

ITA. My dd has a cell phone and the rules that apply to our landline apply to her cell. She is not allowed to use ANY phone after a certain hour. None of her friends have ever called her late at night either.

 

[luvsJack]

Don't you go to his sports games and don't his friends have phones in their homes he could use? Just curious.

I used to say the same thing! But, several of dd's friends do not have land lines and have time restrictions on their cell phones. Now I know she can call me anytime she is at her friends house from her own phone. Or if the friend's mom decides to take the girls and run to the store, dd can call me and I can get a hold of her.

I do go to all of dd's basketball games, but I don't stay for every practice. Sometimes I run to the dollar store or go walk on the walking track while she practices--and she can call if they get through earlier or she gets sick or hurt.

Additionally, we car pool to dance class. With her own phone, she can call me if "jane's" mom forgets to pick them up. I don't have to worry about her not wanting to interrupt the next dance class to ask to use the phone.

The other time she uses her phone is for school dances. She attends a K-8 school. They have several dances throughout the year. 3:30-5:30 is K-5 and 6-9 is 6th-8th grades. She started going to the dances a few times in 4th grade and some in 5th and I am sure she will hit them all this year (these are more like big parties, not really dances--the kids do line dances and play games like "hokey pokey") Anyway, she can call me if she gets bored, she can call me if everyone starts going home early or if someone is bothering her or whatever.

 

[mhsjax]

I don't now why people get so upset because other kids have cell phones. I have 3 kids and they all have 2 activities, so NO I can't be at all of their practices, plus I have dinner to make and other kids ay have homework that they need help with. I am at their games so far, but the time will come this year when my hubby and I have to divide and concur. Some people don't have that luxury and cell phones become necessary. As far as the kid calling late at night, That has nothing to do with a cell phone, and if anyone believes that, they are pretty easily fooled and better watch out for their teenagers. My kids could easily get ahold of our land line at any time they wanted. In fact we don't even get good cell phone coverage in our house, you have to use a land line. Any way Rant over, If people want to lets their younger kids use cell phones then so be it, it isn't anyones business unless they are paying the bill

 

[aprilgail2]

That is really not a cell phone issue- the kid could have just as well done it on a landline phone. My 9 year old has a landline phone in her room and really she could very easily do the same thing from that as a cell phone.

 

[paintnolish]

I just think they are easier to abuse than landlines. My kids don't have them in their rooms, but I don't think I am an overly strict parent. I simply meant that IMO, many young children aren't responsible enough to have their own phones. They can be lost (not too worried about my dcs losing our landline phone), minutes can be used up and run up a bill (not likely on the landline unless they are calling China), and the places they can call from are now endless! If there happened to be a situation in which I felt it necessay that either of mydcs have a phone (like the camp issue), then they would have one that was a prepaid and only allowed to dial certain numbers. Presently, neither of my dcs have any activities warranting one. If dd's friend needs the phone for other issues, so be it, but I am fairly certain that callng a friend's house at midnight isn't one of them. I do agree, however, that there is a parenting issue involved, only compunding the problem.

 

[lovetoscrap]

My kids don't have a cell phone, but we have an extra phone. We use pay as you go--DH and I dont use our phones much at all. The 3rd phone is the "extra". If DD 13 is going to a sleep over or party or something she takes it. If DD 9 is going to ride her bike around the neighborhood with a friend or is going to a sleepover or something she takes it. They both know that I can see any and all calls made on it and the only ones had better to be ME!

I do agree that I like that DD can call me if she gets in a situation and needs help--and she has used it for that. DD9 has only taken it once or twice and never used it. In her case it is mainly so that I can find her and call her to tell her to come home.

So no, THEY don't have a phone. I have an extra phone they can borrow when needed!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

So no, THEY don't have a phone. I have an extra phone they can borrow when needed!

This is the same in my house. It is just dd (8) and I. I use my cell for everything. It was just $5 extra a month to get the extra phone.

DD takes it with her when she goes on all day adventures with her friends or sleepovers. She will be allowed to take it with her as she spends more time away from me.

Yes her friends parents/houses have phones but sometimes dd is too imtimidated to ask. This way she knows and I know that she can call me when ever she wants.

So really it is just my extra phone that I let her use. Do I care what other people think about this - not really this works for us and I see no reason to stop it.

 

[disykat]

We've had the "extra" phone at our house too. DS got his own phone (with limited texting) for his 16th birthday. When my younger son turns 16 he'll get a phone too, but we'll probably put texting on all our phones at that point so it will be unlimited. It's something for them to look forward to. Meanwhile, he can use the extra phone, which is actually his dad's, but it's only for contacting one of us.

 

[paintnolish]

I think the "extra" phone is a great idea.