Kids and allowances??

sjams

<font color=blue>You just wander thru! Kills us al
Joined
Oct 5, 2004
Messages
578
What do you think about them? Give them or not?

I never got one. There were just things that we were expected to do as a contributing member of the family. My kids want to earn money for things that I think should just be done as part of being in a family. If they go above and beyond that I am okay with rewarding with money or something they have been eye"ing" in the store but should they be paid for everything they do like making their bed, setting the dinner table, etc??

Just wondering if I am in the norm in my thinking or just way too old fashioned for my age????

Ps they are 7 1/2 and 11!
 
As long as it is a tool to teach to earn and save, with consequences for not doing their chores or whatever is expected of them to "earn" the allowance, I support them. I have friends that do not expect anything of their children but still give them an allowance. This doesn't teach the kids anything.
 
We don't give allowance as "payment" for chores done at home. Chores are expected as part of being a member of the family. The allowance is to teach them money skills and so they don't come to us asking for stuff all the time. They want something, they can save their allowance for it. We have the kids divide their allowance into three piles; spending, saving and sharing.
 
My husband and I came up with the two tiered allowance system for our 9 year old. There are certain chores he has to do because he is a member of the family. (Really basic stuff - make bed, turn off lights, clean up after self, clear table after dinner, and, our catch all, general helpfulness) We told him that doing these chores daily, without reminder, earns him the right for extra "money earning chores." These are things like vacuuming out the car or washing the dishes. Money earning chores are optional. When he does a money earning chore, the amount he earns gets tallied. Any lack of performing basic chores causes a deduction in the tally. Every Friday, the tally is "paid" (put in his savings account), and cannot be lost.

It sounds complex, but we just keep a little chart on the fridge. He's always asking for chores to do.

It also reflects our value that there is certain work you do as a member of the family, and lets him earn an allowance at the same time.
 

Our kids asked about getting an allowance earlier this week. DH and I are on the fence about it. My one sticking point is that cleaning their rooms is not part of their "chores" for getting an allowance. Their rooms must be kept clean along with whatever "chores" we come up with. If their rooms aren't clean but they did their chores they will not get paid. I know my DD and she would decide that she could do without the money and have a messy room!
 
My allowance was never tied to doing chores. I was just expected to do those. It was never raised because of any extra work I might do, it was raised randomly (usually on my birthday) when my parents felt that I had progressed to an age level where additional money should be paid. However, I also understood that I was not to ask my parents for things in stores. Oh, I could ask for stuff for my birthday or Christmas, but if I wanted anything in the meantime I just wasn't getting it unless I bought it myself. If I wanted to rent a movie with a friend of mine, I paid. If I wanted candy, I paid. Basically I saved it for when we went on vacation because I would need money for souveniers. I was actually pretty good at saving. During one point in my life when I was given $2 a week my grandmother was watching me while my parents were away for a week and was appalled to find something like $80 in dollar bills in my sock drawer. She made me put it in my savings account.
 
Our kids asked about getting an allowance earlier this week. DH and I are on the fence about it. My one sticking point is that cleaning their rooms is not part of their "chores" for getting an allowance. Their rooms must be kept clean along with whatever "chores" we come up with. If their rooms aren't clean but they did their chores they will not get paid. I know my DD and she would decide that she could do without the money and have a messy room!
Agreed - my boys have a baseline. One of my older son's baseline chores is taking the garbage out. He did not do it this week, but he did all of his other chores. Since he did not do a baseline chore, he did not get his allowance. If he misses an "extra" chore, he has to give a portion of his allowance to the person who did it for him. The boys use this to trade chores once in a while...
 
We give DD an allowance but it has never been tied to chores. Those are expected as a member of this family.

We want her to learn the value of money & long it takes to save for something vs. mom being an ATM.

My DD is an only child so it is very easy to spoil her. She needs to learn that money isn't just handed to you... you have to earn it. I don't want her to be financially illiterate so DH & I feel this is a good method. It has worked very well for us.

Here's a response to a post from a few weeks ago:
Here's what DD 11 gets: $11.00 per week. She has to put 50% in her savings & the rest is for her to spend on what she wants. To encourage her to "save" more than spend, we also offer to double whatever she doesn't spend & add that to her savings account each month.

I don't make her save her money for donations. We take care of that & when she is an adult, she can do the same. I'm really just trying to teach her money management skills.

This lesson has been hardest for DH because he wants to buy her everything. I want her to learn want vs. need as well as understanding a budget. For example, she likes Godiva Chocolixers. Well, they're $5 each and I'm not an ATM. If she wants one, is she willing to spend a weeks worth of spending money? She has learned to choose more carefully. Of course, if I buy myself one, she gets one too.

Now, I don't mean that I charge my kid for food, lol, but to teach her that all the little extras she wants all add up. I want her to grow up with financial sense.
 
Okay so my question is....if you aren't tying your allowances to chores then what do you give them allowances for??
 
My husband and I came up with the two tiered allowance system for our 9 year old. There are certain chores he has to do because he is a member of the family. (Really basic stuff - make bed, turn off lights, clean up after self, clear table after dinner, and, our catch all, general helpfulness) We told him that doing these chores daily, without reminder, earns him the right for extra "money earning chores." These are things like vacuuming out the car or washing the dishes. Money earning chores are optional. When he does a money earning chore, the amount he earns gets tallied. Any lack of performing basic chores causes a deduction in the tally. Every Friday, the tally is "paid" (put in his savings account), and cannot be lost.

It sounds complex, but we just keep a little chart on the fridge. He's always asking for chores to do.

It also reflects our value that there is certain work you do as a member of the family, and lets him earn an allowance at the same time.

That's a good one, really serves many purposes. ::yes::
 
Okay so my question is....if you aren't tying your allowances to chores then what do you give them allowances for??

One reason for us is because they'll have very limited chances to learn how to use money if they don't receive any other than holiday and birthdays. There's a lot to be learned, and the kids get a lot of satisfaction, from handling their own money.
We don't tie allowances to chores, like some other posters have said. They have to be a member of the family and hold up their ends....picking up their rooms, clearing dishes, folding clothes, etc. Sometimes they do ask if there's anything extra I want done that I would be willing to pay them for. I try to find something when they ask. That way they learn about the power of earning money. Dh and I share our incomes with each other and with the kids because we're a family. We have the ability to be employed. The kids don't. That doesn't make them less worthy of a share of our "family income". That's how we see it.
 
One reason for us is because they'll have very limited chances to learn how to use money if they don't receive any other than holiday and birthdays.
We don't tie allowances to chores, like some other posters have said. They have to be a member of the family and hold up their ends....picking up their rooms, clearing dishes, folding clothes, etc. Sometimes they do ask if there's anything extra I want done that I would be willing to pay them for. I try to find something when they ask. That way they learn about the power of earning money. Dh and I share our incomes with each other and with the kids because we're a family. We have the ability to be employed. The kids don't. That doesn't make them less worthy of a share of our "family income". That's how we see it.
Fair enough. For what might you withhold their allowance?
 
Fair enough. For what might you withhold their allowance?


We don't withhold it often. They have to really tick me off before I use it as a punishment. I seriously want them to learn money, so most of the time, they'll get their allowance even if I have to hound them to hang up their coats, for example. If they aren't doing their non paid chores, they deal with other consequences in ways other than withholding allowance. You didn't pick up your room when you were supposed too, then no playing outside till it's done. Decided that you didn't want to put your clothes in the hamper?....well, I guess you'll be wearing dirty clothes when you run out. Didn't take the trash out?.....no more computer/tv/Nintendo/Wii for the rest of the day AND until the trash still goes outside by you.

I never got an allowance as a kid nor did dh. We've made plenty of mistakes with money in the past. They don't teach much about money or how to handle it in school. Its up to us as parents to teach that and I believe in the power of hands on experience. I'm hoping they'll learn to handle money better than dh or I ever had the opportunity too. This system works for us, so we stick with it.
 
Okay so my question is....if you aren't tying your allowances to chores then what do you give them allowances for??

We also do not tie chores to an allowance. Chores are done to contribute to the good of the family unit, and an allowance is to help them learn to manage money. We see it as 2 different things. The allowance is used to buy all the extras. For example, if we go to the movies, we will buy the ticket and they use their allowance to buy a soda or popcorn if they want it. It has really cut down on the "I wants" and the "Can I haves."

As of right now, we never deduct anything from their allowance. If they do not do their chores, we take away priviledges or will not allow them to spend the money they have managed to save. (I won't allow them to buy a toy if they have been unable to keep the toys they currently have off the floor.) Like I said, we see money management (allowance) as a different issue than chores, etc.
 
We don't give our kids an allowance. They are expected to do things around the house because they live here and make most of the mess :lmao: . There are jobs for which they can earn money-scrubbing the kitchen floor (which is a LOT of work) is one. I think doing a job and earning money for a job well done is a valuable lesson, more so then just giving a kid money because even if you do make them save part of it. I think this is a more real world application of kids getting money.
 
My kids are 7, 9, 11 and 13 and I have never given them allowance. I started last month. They get 2, 3, 4, and 5 dollars per kid a week. They never had money of their own to manage and learn to save or spend as they saw fit. Now, I see them planning how many weeks it would take to save for X, or I see them blow it in a day and regret it. It's important that kids have money to learn about saving and spending.

My kids do chores and always will. If i have a special chore-cleaning the garage, cleaning out the car and washing it, I will pay them extra.

My kids were all being pigs about not hanging up their coats, just tossing them in the closet on the floor. I now deduct .50 for every time I find their coats on the floor. They are learning quickly.

So far, allowance has been a positive thing for us. I can't believe how quickly payday comes each week though!
 
I'm a huge advocate for allowances!!!!:thumbsup2

My 10yr old DD gets $10 every 2 weeks for errands around the house, and for the work she does at our family business. I understand how many believe that children should contribute to family work w/ no pay, but my opinion is different. There are things my DD wants to have, and I want her to save her money for it. If I count on just her bday and holidays for her to get money, she'll never get what she wants. If I buy it, then I'm using my money, and I would rather use my money in a form of an allowance, to teach my DD discipline with money.

In the end, it just depends on what works best for each family. When my DD says she wants something, I tell her to save her money, and she does:thumbsup2
 
Okay so my question is....if you aren't tying your allowances to chores then what do you give them allowances for??

To teach them how to handle money, to teach them to save. To show them that things that are worth having are worth saving for. To teach then that it is important to spend, save and give.
 

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