Keep It Or Give It Back

[helenabear]

If he gave it as a gift for Christmas and then he broke up with her months later, then no doubt in my mind she can keep it. If she likes it and wears it often, then I see no reason to return it.

There are only two times a ring should be returned, in my opinion. If it is a family heirloom or something of the like that was passed throught the family, then I would return it. Or if it is an engagement ring and the one who received it calls it off... then I think it is good form to return it. Otherwise a gift is a gift, and it is kind of tasteless to ask for it back. I have never returned any gifts at all that were given to me by past boyfriends... nor did they ask for any of them back.

 

[Parrothead1964]

I'm just curious ... why does she want to keep the ring in the first place? Isn't it a constant reminder of a bad relationship? I would think she might toss it in the nearest river, or even give it back, but why would she keep it?

Is it correct that if it were an engagement ring and they broke up, that she should give it back? Of course maybe I'm just hallucinating ... again.

 

[DMickey28]

What kind of ring? And what does "friendship" ring mean?

I had a boyfriend give me a tiny diamond ring, tiny barely more than a chip! We were serious but young and it was a friendship ring. He had the warranty out on it as well. When we broke up I gave it back to him. I didn't want it around. I think he actually told me to keep it, but I didn't want to... I wanted to forget about that "diamond" and wait for my real one from my prince charming.

I think that your daughter should keep it though, if that is what she is comfretable with.

Editted to add: I have many rings and necklaces given to my by HS boyfriends that I still have. Stones, other than diamonds, I would never envision giving back. They were gifts!

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

Wow, thanks for all the responses . . .

The ring is a white gold ring with 3 diamond chips (past, present, future type) I call it a "friendship" ring because DD is/was too young to consider it a "serious" type of thing. And I never considered it to be an "engagement" or "promise ring" but maybe I'm wrong? If that's the case and if he is really upset about it, then by all means I'll have her give it back. I think it has something to do with her liking another guy now and he must of got wind of it . . .

I do not miss being a teenager!

 

[DoeWDW]

Realistically, if she returns it, what would he do with it??

If he gives it to another girl, that's tasteless. If he wants to sell it.... .

It was a gift and is hers to keep unless it's a family heirloom or engagement ring. From your description, I don't think its either. With all that said, if she wants to end this on a positive note and come out looking classy, she should give it back.

 

[Lisa96]

If he is still making payments on the ring then it should be returned, even if it was given as a gift, because the person shouldn't have to keep making the payments when the relationship has ended. But if he bought it outright then I agree with the others who stated that it's like a sweater or any other gift that you'd get - it's yours!

 

[Serena]

What does your daughter want to do with the ring?

 

[LisaSt]

It sure sounds to me like a promise ring with 3 small diamond chips in it as you specified. Honestly it is her call but if it makes things easier for everyone then maybe returning it would be best not saying she should but to smooth things over and then be able to move on and not have to hear about it it makes more sence.

 

[Kallison]

Curious never heard about a warranty on a ring? What kind of ring is it -- diamond? I vote for keeping it.

 

[Kallison]

never mind. Actually now that I think about it, I got rid of all old bf jewelry.

 

[KrnB]

Originally posted by Parrothead1964
Is it correct that if it were an engagement ring and they broke up, that she should give it back? Of course maybe I'm just hallucinating ... again.

Technically, I think the rule goes that if it is an engagement ring, it depends on who is the one that ends the relationship.

When I broke up with my ex, I gave him the ring back. I was the one who chose to end it. However, I do remember reading that if he had been the one to break up with me, I could have kept the ring because he would have been the one to break that promise.

The only other piece of jewelry I ever gave back was a guy's class ring. Wouldn't have been right to keep that.

That being said, I do find it a little odd that she wants to keep the ring and still wear it. I had kept a few pieces of jewelry given to me by ex-boyfriends for a while, but I never wore them again.

Lisa96 - I don't think that how he chose to pay for it should really come into play on what a person should do with it. The recipient of a gift shouldn't necessarily know how much it cost or how it was paid for. However, it would be a nice gesture.

 

[Deafmedic]

Keep it. He'll probably just give it to his next GF.