Keep It Or Give It Back

[Wish Upon A Star]

Just wanted to get a general concensus on what everyone would do here.

DD had a DBF for 9 months. For Xmas he purchased a friendship ring for her and gave it to her as a gift. He also took out a warranty on it for it to be checked every 6 months, etc. He broke up with DD in June and never asked for the ring back.

The ring had to be sized and the warranty he purchased didn't including sizing, so I had to pay the extra $30 for the extended warranty which would cover re-sizing, etc.

I guess the DexBF now is asking for the ring back. I would tell DD to give it back, but, I put out my own money for the re-sizing of the ring and she still wears it, so, to me, I have some interest in that ring. I don't want it to become a huge issue between the two of them, but if a present was given as a gift, and she has used that gift for over 6 months isn't it legally hers?

What advice would you give your teen?

 

[zurgswife]

I say if she likes and still wears the ring...keep it....

 

[Trish Bessette]

It was a gift for her. Definately have her keep it.

 

[Cthia]

If he gave it as a gift she has no obligation to give it back especially if he gave it to her for Christmas.

If it holds sentimental value she should keep it especially if she still wears it.

 

[msdznyduck]

If it was a gift, by all means it is hers. Whether they broke up or not, it was a gift. If it had been a family heirloom or something, then she should give it back, but not for a Christmas gift, IMHO.

Of course, if he becomes a real PITA about it, it might be worth it to just give it back to be done with him, once and for alll (if that is what she wants.)

 

[Christine]

I think I just read this on Dear Abby:

If a gift is given as a gift for an occasion such as birthday, Christmas, etc., it does not have to be returned. The only reason it should be is if the gift was a family heirloom.

The only time a piece of jewelry shoudl be returned is if it was an engagement ring and the engagement/marriage is cancelled by either party.

Since this is not an engagement ring, but a Christmas gift, I say keep it.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Since it was a Christmas gift I would think she shoulf keep it.

 

[missyc]

It's hers. A gift is a gift.


(The only time I've heard otherwise is when an engagement is broken by the girl at no fault of the man. I think she is then legally required to return the ring.)

 

[LisaSt]

Personally I would give the ring back I had a GF buy me a really nice bracelet once and wehn I broke up with her I gave it back first fewer things to look at and get pissed off about and secondly it is kinda like and engagement ring would you keep it or give it back?


Darren

 

[Keli]

The ring is your dd's. If she wants it she should keep it. It's not like this was an engagement ring. It probably didn't cost that much money in the first place, it was given to her for christmas and you ended up paying a little on the warranty too. Nope, I wouldn't feel like she was obligated to give it back to the fella. And I doubt he wants it back for any monetary reason either. It's probably just a way to get back at an ex or something.

 

[SC Minnie]

Ditto.

It was a gift she should keep it if she wants to.

 

[CEDmom]

It's a gift and doesn't need to be returned. If the DBF had spent the same amount of $ on a sweater or perfume which your DD used would he ask for either of those back? No, because he wouldn't be able to regift them.

 

[tiggerlover]

Originally posted by Christine
I think I just read this on Dear Abby:

If a gift is given as a gift for an occasion such as birthday, Christmas, etc., it does not have to be returned. The only reason it should be is if the gift was a family heirloom.

The only time a piece of jewelry shoudl be returned is if it was an engagement ring and the engagement/marriage is cancelled by either party.

Since this is not an engagement ring, but a Christmas gift, I say keep it.

I tend to agree with the above.

 

[Miss Cleo]

Keep it! He just wants it back to give to some tramp anyway!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I would have her have a talk with him and tell him that she thought it was a gift and that it has sentimental meaning to her.

 

[Serena]

It's hers. If she wants to keep it, she can. If it would be worth giving it back just so she doesn't have a hassle from him, then she could do that too. But it's hers.

 

[KrnB]

ITA with everyone else... it was a gift, not a proposal of marriage, so she can keep it if it she wants. CEDmom's analogy about a sweater or perfume hits the nail right on the head.

 

[Divamomto3]

It's a gift...she keeps it.

The parents of the teenaged boy shouldn't have allowed him to buy a piece of jewelry for a girlfriend if he ever had any intention of asking for it back. JMHO

 

[teachingmyown]

A gift is a gift. Pure and simple. It's hers to keep, toss or give to him or anyone else.

However, just because it's hers to do with as she pleases doesn't mean that she should just keep it "because". If it isn't worth creating hard feelings or a difficult situation, then giving it back isn't unreasonable.

Btw, mom, your expense for resizing was also a gift and therefore shouldn't enter into the decision at all. JMO.

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by Miss Cleo
Keep it! He just wants it back to give to some tramp anyway!

LOL!