just wanting to share this, hope it's ok

mazz1

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 8, 2007
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284
some may have seen this poem before but i would like to share it with those who have not, i hope you don't mind



it's been a long time now since my first child Joanna was diagnosed with autism and i've met some wonderful supportive people because of my child being disabled and i'm still meeting and connecting with more mums just like me as my children grow :)

so i'd just like to share this with others on here who also have a "special child" or two



Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all boasting about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Celebrating Holland- I'm Home
By Cathy Anthony
(my follow-up to the original \Welcome to Holland\ by Emily Perl Kingsley)


I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!
 
Thanks for sharing Cathy. Our dd was dx'd with high functioning autism. Both in real life and on the internet, I've met some fellow Holland travelers. They've been so kind and helpful. I hope some of that rubs off on me, and I can help newcomers. I just have to believe God gave us Zoe for a reason.
 
very nice followup to the original trip to Holland.:thumbsup2
 
Thank you for putting things in perspective and it does not just apply to special kids' parents. Touched me dearly, a wake up call. Thank you.
 

just noticed something funny -
at the bottom of each page, there are some links generated by google, based on what google 'thinks' might be of interest to people reqading that thread.
The links at the bottom of this page - trips to Holland & Amsterdam:lmao:
 
Thank you so much for posting this! I'm coming to terms with ""being in Holland" and not missing out on not being in Italy. It definitely is a journey of time. My 8 yr old DS has ADHD and a non-verbal learning disorder, and I'm trying so hard to focus on what's extraordinary about him, rather than how unlike the other kids he is. I recently went to a talk by Dr. Ned Hallowell (wrote "Driven to Distraction" and many other books on ADHD and learning disorders). He stresses how crucial it is to focus on what these kids do well, and how important it is that we don't always pathologize their differences, but look at it like we're opening this wonderful gift. I'm still a work in progress!

Liz
 
just noticed something funny -
at the bottom of each page, there are some links generated by google, based on what google 'thinks' might be of interest to people reqading that thread.
The links at the bottom of this page - trips to Holland & Amsterdam:lmao:

i've never noticed those links before

it is funny :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
just noticed something funny -
at the bottom of each page, there are some links generated by google, based on what google 'thinks' might be of interest to people reqading that thread.
The links at the bottom of this page - trips to Holland & Amsterdam:lmao:

To save my wrist I never scroll that far down, lol. I see ads for yachts in Holland, other Dutch travel stuff. This is scary as not it is wedding related stuff, please tell me that is not an omen.
 
I love that! I've told it to soooo many people. It really describes what it is like to find out you have a special needs child. Your response was wonderful too--well said!

I've been in Holland for a decade now, too. Some days I do wish I were in Italy (especially when my second trip also ended up going to Holland!) but I've learned the language and met some great people here, and now it's sort of become my home. Not what I'd planned, but I'm making the best of where I've ended up. Our kids give us something that "normal" kids can't.

I'm so glad I found this group here. Disney or not, it's nice to have a reminder that I'm not alone here in Holland, and that others speak my language and have walked many miles in my wooden shoes.

Thanks for sharing this! BTW, gotta love the ads for Holland!:lmao: Tooooo funny!
 












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