Just need to gripe for a minute...

[Tazicket]

My birthday is next Tuesday and my grandparents are missing it for the second year in a row! They've been there for my birthday every year since we moved here, except for starting last year- which wouldn't have been as big of a deal if it wasn't my 21st birthday! It was a huge milestone one and they missed it! And they're missing it again this year! I know that the older you get, the less people care, but for cripe's sake, they're my grandparents! GRRRRRRRR!

 

[CookieGVB]

Make the best of when you DO see them. Do you visit them on their birthdays? Are you upset that you're not getting a gift?

You're 22 years old - you can probably visit them whenever you like. It doesn't have to be your birthday. Enjoy them while they're still here.

 

[miss missy]

Hmmm I never remember my gp's at my birthdays.... BUT my MOM took MY son to Vegas for his 21st!!! Imagine that! Maybe you can have her as a gm this year

 

[PlaneJoy1]

My grandparents lived next door to me while I was growing up. I don't remember ever seeing them on my birthday or even getting a phone call or card. I guess when that's the way it has always been, you don't expect it.

I think at 21 (now 22) you probably shouldn't expect them to be there on your birthday. You've grown up and they are letting you do just that.

Sorry that you are disappointed!

 

[bananiem]

My gp's were all dead by the time I turned 5. Be thankful yours are still alive.

 

[Tazicket]

We live in the same city, so when they're not off touring the country (which is a couple of months a year), I see them a couple of times per week. If they do like they did last year, they'll still give me a gift when they get back, but that's not my point. I'd like to think I'm a little less materialistic than that. I know that I'm blessed to have them period, too.

I'm just upset that they're missing it again. It's a special day and all that. It just hurts my feelings (and I'm not super removed from childhood yet) so I'm having a minor hissy fit while I'm home alone.

 

[Christine]

What are their reasons for not attending?

It is a hard pill to swallow becoming an adult. No longer do people gush over stuff like when you were younger. We've all had to go through this where we are no longer the center of our parents' (or grandparents') universe. All of a sudden, everyday life for them becomes more important then attending your birthday. Sorry it is making you feel bad.

 

[Beth76]

I'm sorry, but I just don't get this. Are you having a party that they're missing? My son's birthday is July 3 and my parents will be in Texas for the holiday. My in-laws have never been present on either of my son's birthdays. I'm guessing that your grandparents are retired and traveling. I'm sure they don't feel the need to plan their traveling around a grown woman's birthday. I would be happy that they recognize it even if it's not on the actual day.

 

[Tazicket]

What are their reasons for not attending?

It is a hard pill to swallow becoming an adult. No longer do people gush over stuff like when you were younger. We've all had to go through this where we are no longer the center of our parents' (or grandparents') universe. All of a sudden, everyday life for them becomes more important then attending your birthday. Sorry it is making you feel bad.

YAY! You understand!!! They are going up to Tennessee to visit my Grannie's sister and cousins and what not. They go every year, but didn't have the bright idea to be gone on my birthday until last year. We'd rearranged party plans to have it on a day my couple of friends couldn't be there, so that my grandparents could be. They called us a couple of days before the party to say they weren't going to come back that day after all, b/c Grannie's brother decided he wanted to have dinner on my birthday. Never mind the fact that they had been up there for a month already and he had many opportunities to be with her.

Ok....So now that I sound like a totally spoiled brat... (which was not my intention by the way)

 

[lisajl]

My gp's were all dead by the time I turned 5. Be thankful yours are still alive.

I agree with you! I guess you could also be thankful that you don't have more to complain about. I wish that was the only problem I had!

 

[bananiem]

Ok....So now that I sound like a totally spoiled brat...

It is hard to grow up. But gp's have a life too. Maybe last year it hit granny that she and her brother are getting older and each time their together may be their last. Maybe it suddenly became important to her to have that dinner with her brother.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

really truly yes, a little spoiled. Grandparents get very nostalgic about seeing their siblings and family. Be so grateful that you still have them the rest of the year.

I miss my Grandpa on my birthday so much. He always used to send me $10 in my birthday card. Even when I was married with kids, I still got my little girl birthday card with $10.

 

[mickeyboat]

I don't know, it's hard for me to have much sympathy for you. I am sorry that you are hurting, but I think you should be happy that your grandparents are living their lives for themselves, and not planning them around your birthday. We don't expect little kids to understand that, but we do expect that young adults will. You know they love you, and they know you love them no matter where they are on your birthday. Be happy that they are out enjoying their lives, and that you are so fortunate to have them as a part of your life on a regular basis. Celebrate when they return! It will be like the birthday celebration goes on and on.

Happy birthday!

Denae

 

[Tazicket]

It is hard to grow up. But gp's have a life too. Maybe last year it hit granny that she and her brother are getting older and each time their together may be their last. Maybe it suddenly became important to her to have that dinner with her brother.

Wow...a response with no flames. Thank you. I didn't think I needed to put on the flame retardant suit when I made the original post. That is a really good point. It's just all a part of growing up, I s'pose. Still hurts a little, but it'll pass.

 

[Crankyshank]

Geez my own parents started going away with my younger siblings on my birthday when I was 16. No one in my family celebrates their birthday on that day unless it happens to fall on a weekend.
Just make a date to go out for your birthday when they will be home.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I never had a grandparent at any of my birthday's EVER in my life. Look on the bright side.

 

[azgal81]

Maybe they will take you out to dinner when they get back??

I live 3000 miles away from my one grandpa so I only see him once a year for christmas the other set lives down here for half a year so they normally take me out to dinner for my birthday. Although never on my birthday since I'm never home I usually go on a trip that week!

I wouldn't worry to much it just sounds like they are enjoying their life it's not like they are avoiding you or anything.

 

[paigevz]

I got a bday card from my dad's mother every year with a dollar in it until I married.

I got a garage sale bday gift (and I still have EVERY one) from my mom's mother every year NEAR my birthday, until I married.

Neither of my grandmothers (one grandfather died before I was born, and the other when I was 14) were at my house on my birthday more than once or twice in my life..............and that was before the age of 6.

My parents have not been present at my home on my birthday ever since I haven't lived with them.

My mother (but not my father) does always come for my son's bdays, and her other grandson. My in-laws have never come for my son's bdays........though we had each of their first bdays at their house, so they were there for those.

It's not really, in my experience, very common for everyone to come to an adult's birthday on an annual basis.

Don't be too hard on them about it, they just probably feel you don't need them to come every year anymore. You're all grown up now.

 

[Tazicket]

Thank you all for taking the time to post your opinions. While I do not agree with many posters' portrayals of me, I do appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

 

[mt2]

Growing up is very hard. My DM comes from a family of 7. I'm the 1st grandchild. I was always remembered until I turned 14. That is when everyone else started having families. It was very difficult but I would still get the occassional card until I was 21.

The day I turned 21 my DM went into the hospital to remove a stubborn mole and it was cancerous. Also on that same day, her sister found out she had breast and cervical cancer. Both are well now.

I stopped receiving cards on my birthday. I was told by the aunt with BC that that day could no longer exist. It was the bad cancer day. I still existed to them but that day (my birthday) couldn't.

It still hurts abit when I think about that time but at 40 I understand what they were going thru because I have had to go thru a few health issues the past couple of years.

Is your grandparents brother unwell? I know that my MIL told her family that this was her last visit to see them. It was getting to hard on her and FIL to travel. Her brothers, aunts, and uncles had big dinners for her the last hoorah! Maybe this is the same situation.

Happy Birthday to you. Have a great day. Go to Disney for the day if you're close enough.