Just need a safe place to talk (Update post 22)

[mommytoe]

I know there is nothing I can do to stop the pain my daughter is feeling. It hurts me as well when I see the pain in her eyes.

My 15yr dd had her heart broken yesterday. Her bf had been at camp for 2 weeks. When he came home he would only answer her texts with short 1 word answers.

She asked him if something was wrong. He told her he would talk to her that night at Civil Air Patrol. Later in the day he changed his facebook status to single. He did not even show up at the meeting.

This was her first bf.

I know she will heal, but it hurts me to see her in pain.

 

[kbnmommy]

I'm so sorry.
It's so difficult to see our children hurting. My co-worker is dealing with this right now too. Just be there if and when she wants to talk about it.

 

[robinb]

Bummer . My DD has not been on the receiving end of a broken heart ... yet. It's too bad the BF can't be more responsive honest with her about why he wants to break up.

 

[Jenn]

What a crappy way to end things. My 15 year old daughter is dating her first serious boyfriend and I dread this day.

 

[mamabear0222]

Ugh how sad! A girl's first love is so heartbreaking

 

[theworldneedscolor]

I've seen plenty of teen breakups, and they're always hard, but usually they are fairly mutual. At the very least, most have the courtesy to at least tell the other person that they want to break up and why.

This, on the other hand, is absolutely awful! The boy obviously is not mature enough to be in a relationship in the first place. Hopefully, after she deals with her heartbreak, she will be able to see that he wasn't worth the tears and the trouble.

If she wants to talk, listen. If not, just be there for her.

 

[mrsarbogast]

Hugs to your daughter.

My 16 year old just recently got out of a long term (2.5 year) relationship with her bf. He was quite obviously her first love and had spent the weekend before the breakup with us/her. When he went back to college (they'd dated since he was a junior and her a freshman in high school)... he texted her and told her not to visit, write, blah blah blah. He then proceeded to block her on FB, twitter, and a week later got his phone number changed so she couldn't text. crazy. It broke her heart; and to this day she's had no answers; but the old saying is right. "Time does heal" and my dd is getting so much better. She sees her ex occasionally and they say "hey" but not much else. She is going out with her friends now and acting like a normal teenager as opposed to a married one, lol. So big hugs to you both... btdt; but it gets better. Promise.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[scdak]

One day she will look back at the whole situation and realize how lucky she is, but for now her heart is broken and there isn't much you can do about it except be there for her if she needs to talk to someone. It sounds like the guy is a very immature person and has alot of growing up to do, but you daughter has alot of fun growing up to do to, time with friends, fun with family, and eventually her knight in shining armor will ride in on his trusty steed

 

[Maggie Ann]

My heart is hurting for you and you DD right now. My children are too young to date but I am already telling my DS 8 to treat girls the way we want his sister to be treated. I hope your DD feels better every day! Hang in there Momma!

 

[MomofIndigo]

I am so sorry ... How we dread this day and my DD is no where near the dating age.

Like everyone else said just be there for her. I do remember this happening to me and my mom was just very quiet but made sure that my favorite movie was always playing and a cup of hot chocolate was made. Then she took me out to get a pedicure. I will never ever forget it because she just didn't say anything. Later, much later, I asked her. She laughed and said "Would you have listened and believed me?"... HA. I love my mom.

What a horrible way to end things. With nothing.

 

[GoldieLocks5]

oh man, i'm tearing up just reading your post knowing how it must break your heart to see your child hurting that way.

I think we all know that it's something we all go through --- and the fact that she talks to you and lets you know what's happening is a huge thing - she knows you support her and are there for her - which is great. I never talked with my parents about that stuff --- so I just suffered alone with breakups....

I think it's great you are there for her and can help her get through this... always remind her that each relationship she has is a learning experience to help her learn the good and the bad - what she wants and doesn't want in a husband, etc - so when she meets "the one" she will truly know.

 

[bumbershoot]

Ugh how sad! A girl's first love is so heartbreaking

Hey now, boys get heartbroken, too. I'm the oldest of 5, and 3 of them are boys, and they've had their hearts trounced on FAR harder than me or my sister have dealt with. My brother's first girlfriend (they dated from soph year of HS through graduation) was set to go to college with him and their friend, she had a reason to be at college before normal orientation so he went with her, she started the organization that caused her to be there early, he joined too, it looked rosy. Then before normal orientation started she quit the organization, quit that college, and quit him. She didn't even tell him why. She didn't even tell him. She had her parents talk with our mom and stepdad. And they either didn't know why or weren't telling.

It nearly destroyed him. (to this day I wonder if there was something baby-related happening...and that's another thing girls have control of that can have tremendous effects on a boy's heart, mind, and even soul...but he doesn't know)


Girls aren't the only ones who get their hearts broken.

 

[Schmeck]

OP, since you posted this in the trip planning forum section, I suggest you take her to Disney World to cheer her up !

 

[Dani C]

I don't want to scare you, but please keep an eye on her. At 15, with all the hormonal changes going on, a child can be prone to depression. As her parent, you know what is normal for her generally, but don't turn a blind eye to extreme issues or play them down. Give her space, yes, but also be there and be aware.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

This is why I will *and do* highly encourage my children not to seriously date anyone until they're out of high school, it's sad to me to 'waste' your teen years dating one person, time with friends is so important. I recently *about a month ago* saw a posted article on facebook *I even shared it ~ but my phone's data is gone and I can't access facebook from my work computer* it was saying that with teens dating is about sex, don't be fooled - I don't know about you but I'd prefer my kids to not do that at such a young age.

Your daughter will survive, be happy for her - she's free!

 

[wiigirl]

 

[dawn25]

Ugh, I remember those days all too well! I swear I didn't think I would survive without him. Big hugs to your DD!!! Hopefully she realizes sooner than later that she is better off without him!

 

[robinb]

I also think there are good lessons for the kids who are doing the breaking up. My DD already learned that telling a boy a white lie "Maybe we can date again in the summer." doesn't work and just hurts their feelings even more when they figure out it's not true.

 

[Boo Bear]

The busier she is, the faster the time will pass. Time is the only thing that will truly make allow her heart to heal. Boys are jerks. My dad has told me this since I was a teenager. Poor thing.

 

[Michigan_tinkerbell]

I am so sorry for what she is going through. But Hats off to her for being in CAP. I was a Cadet from 13-21 and a senior for five more years. Its going to be hard, but she will make it through it. Dont him hinder her CAP. She can get a lot out of CAP.