just had a letter from DS school....

[snookhams]

and I am so mad because of a dozen students misbehaving and being generally horrible louts, the year 11 prom this year has been cancelled. So the other 240+ students that took no part in what happened on their last day at school (which was about 2 weeks ago) are to be punished. I in no way condone what happened, but DS and his group of friends who once they were dismissed at around 1pm took them selves to the local town and had lunch and went to a movie so were no where near the school, and only heard via msn that evening, are to be punished as well. Why not just ban those that were involved. What has made me cross is the fact that the school then had a week between the incident and half term to tell the students and their parents but waited and posted out the letters and refunds on Friday so we can do nothing until next Monday, when the half term is over.
On top of that we are out of pocket - although we manage to find a hire suit to fit and we only lost our deposit, we had to buy shoes because they did not have any to hire him (not much call for size 14 I was told) so you can imagine what a pair of shoes cost, we had to go to a specialist shop for tall men!! on top of that a limo had been hired and paid for in full and we have been told no refund, but could change the hire - anyone have use of a white stretch limo in the Essex area!! Some of DS friends had bought dresses and had them altered so are unable to get a refund!!!
DS is as you can imagine so upset, you only get one year 11 prom IF YOU ARE LUCKY

 

[tashasmum]

That is dreadful. You have every right to be cross and i would be if i was i your shoes.

DD has her prom in July and the dress has already been bought, altered etc so like you say no refund and not much use either.

Maybe after the school holidays you could get together with other parents and go to the school to see if they will change their minds. Why not just ban the ones who misbehaved?

Hope you can manage to sort something out. I know my dd would be so upset as well if hers was cancelled.

 

[carolfoy]

what a terrible shame, seems very unfair
I'm guessing the school don't know exactly who was misbehaving which is ehy they've banned it for everyone
can you get together with some parents and organise your own?

 

[wilma-bride]

Obviously, we don't know all the facts but what I would say is that the school must be fairly certain that Year 11 students were involved in whatever went on as it's obviously only the Year 11 students who are going to be affected by the Prom being cancelled.

It's a shame for all those innocent parties who are going to miss out - are there really 250+ students in Year 11 at your son's school? - but if the school do not know exactly who was involved, maybe they felt they had no other choice.

If your DS has not worn his shoes, can you not get a refund on them? A shame you have already paid for the limo - I think it's slightly unfair that the limo company won't refund, given the circumstances.

I suspect that, if your DS and others know who is responsible, they will have their own ways of making sure they are punished (I don't mean violence but I know when I was at school, if certain students did something which incurred a punishment to innocent parties, we made sure they knew how unhappy we were about it).

 

[mandymouse]

That is terrible. Why should all the students suffer because of a handful of idiots? My DD had her prom last year, and she would've been gutted to miss it. We bought her dress about 6 months before the party and you have to put a deposit on the limo etc - I would be furious too

Sorry that your DS will have to miss what should be a great way to finish his school years

 

[CustardTart]

That's such a shame. This happened when my eldest son was in 6th form but a group of determined parents arranged an alternative event and it was fantastic! I hope something else can be rearranged...

 

[natalielongstaff]

It does seem a shame that your son will miss out, however i can understand that the school may have felt that they needed to make an example to serve as a warning to everyone else....however harsh

 

[tennisfan]

It does seem a shame that your son will miss out, however i can understand that the school may have felt that they needed to make an example to serve as a warning to everyone else....however harsh

I agree with this

 

[The Fetherstons]

Oh thats such a shame,how it only takes a couple of idiots to spoil everyone elses fun I would be mad also

 

[angel659]

How frustrating. Can you organise your own prom. I.e get all the parents together to try and find a hall. See if any of the parents would all cut the costs? Might be an option.

 

[wideeyes]

some year 11's do get carried away around leaving time so maybe they are worried about more trouble breaking out at the prom.

 

[irongirlof12]

It is quite ridiculous to punish everyone, and the parents pocket as well, for the behaviour of a few, and I suspect the staff know 'who did what' and should only punish those concerned.

I recommend you go to the Head and explain the costs involved for parents as they are being very narrow minded. You can also approach the governors.Withdrawn of a planned event is not a suitable or accceptable punishment. I would also ask for evidence of your sons involvement: make it personal ; ask what role he has played in this? why he should be punished? At what point if any did they indicate that the event would only go ahead if all of the students behaved throughout the year? How was this agreement communicated to you as a parent? By offering the event they entered into a contract with you and have terminated this contract. Throw that at them!

 

[Joanne UK]

I completely agree and sympathise with you that this is terribly unfair on your Son and the vast majority of other pupils in his Year Group.

My daughter who is in Yr 2 was supposed to be going on a school trip to Buckingham Palace and the Royal Mews next month but, because of 3 rotten children in the other Yr 2 class the trip has been cancelled. They are going to an organic farm instead. School couldn't risk taking these 3 boys to London and I can fully understand why but they should have been made to miss the trip and the rest of their Year Group should have gone as planned.

I guess in both cases it must infringe their human rights if they are made to miss out.

 

[Belle68]

Im so sorry that this has happened all because of a few mindless idiots. I would be very tempted to speak to the head about the money you stand to loose, I would also look into trying to organise something else with a group of other parents. No wonder your I would be too.

 

[darthtatty]

thats terrible and the way they informed you is just as bad.
i do hope you manage to get something sorted out

 

[Ware Bears]

That is awful. My DD and her friends are so looking forward to their prom, they've already all bought their dresses and paid the deposit on the limo so we'd all be really upset if it was to happen to us.

There are well over 200 children in Year 11 at my DD's school and the known trouble makers aren't allowed to attend any of the fun things at the end of their school life such as the prom, fancy dress day and Leaver's day. I don't know the full story of what happened with your DS's school but I know the teachers at my DD's school really look forward to the prom too so they'd all be gutted if it was cancelled.

Same old story of a minority spoiling things for the majority.

I hope if enough of you parents get together you can get an answer and something sorted out.

 

[snookhams]

Thanks for all your replies, I certainly plan to contact the head as soon as I can on Monday. They know the names of most of those involved, some were actually arrested, but they say that others who they don't know were involved. We did have a letter previous to the last day, explaining that anyone that misbehaved would not be allowed to the prom, but I can't remember if it said it would be completely cancelled, will look out this letter before monday, so I have it to hand when I talk to the school.
This is a really nice Church school, but because of goverment policies recently they have had the decision of who they accept taken from them and this is now done by the local council! They have never had any trouble like this before, my nieces and nephew went there and I have spoken to them and there was none of this behaviour on there last day at all.
I know that DS son has been in contact with most of his friends and have talked about re-arranging it for another venue, but my worry is that these louts will turn up, and also insurance issues for an event like this. I have suggested that they use the limo and go out for a nice meal, may be some parents could go seperatly to the restaurant and be there descreetly incase of any trouble, at the moment I am to upset to think this out. We are about to travel to Sheffield for a last chance national qualifying gala this weekend not too sure if DS will perform at his best or not!
I will keep the shoes as they are not specifically dress shoes and they will be worn, (also ordered them from US on the internet so it would be easier to keep them), you never know his feet might not grow anymore and he could wear them to his sixth form prom - if he gets one

 

[arieljasmine]

I'm so sorry to hear this, what an awful shame for your son. I think proms are such a lovely idea, I was so jealous when my sister had hers because there was nothing like that when I was at school. I do hope something can be sorted out, will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Laur's