Just about ready to cry -- Teacher is a blabbermouth!

[mrsmarilyn]

We're leaving in 2 weeks for a surprise trip to Disney to celebrate our twins 9th birthday. today my daughter comes home and says "mommy, miss so-and-so [sub teacher, her teacher is on maternity leave] asked me where we are going on our trip this month?"

Mommy almost had heart failure. Mommy had to do some fast verbal tap dancing to explain that Miss so-and-so must have been confused, Mommy had mentioned taking a trip during APRIL school vacation etc etc.

I think she bought it.

Then I sat down and sent a screaming email to Miss So-and-so (who i've been trying to reach for days to discuss the very subject to make sure there were NO SLIP UPS).

OMG.

My mother has beein in and out of the hospital almost constantly since 12/26. We're coming up on the 2 year anniversary of my only brothers death. I've buried 3 cats in the last year. I NEED THIS VACATION. I've spent 3 months planning and plotting it for them. If it gets spoiled because some idiot flaps their yap before talking to me I swear they are going to have to put me in a rubber room.

I know, I'm tightly wound--that's why I need a vacation!! The kids have NO idea we are going to Disney. In fact, we've been selling the "we're really broke guys, I don't think we can swing a birthday party this year" line for months. (I won a 3 day trip to Disney and we're paying the other 4 days). They've been totally in the dark. Building up to the surprise is what is keeping me going.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[daisyduck123]

I'm sorry that you think the teacher is a blabbermouth, but I'm a teacher & feel I must come to her defense.

First of all, we teachers have wayyyy too much going on to remember every family's little details (like this being a surprise for your kids). You state that your trip is in two weeks....I'm not sure why you had even mentioned the trip so far ahead of time. The most notice I ever need, or even told my own children's teachers we were going to WDW, is one week. I don't know why people feel the need to tell the teacher weeks in advance? What good does that do anyway? I have a student leaving for Disney this weekend & her mom told me on Wednesday. I hope her mom didn't tell me on Wednesday that it's a surprise, because if she did, I've already forgotten that part & I did give her a WDW trip journal to take with her.

With a minimum of two dozen kids in the class, I would never expect my kid's teacher to remember something trivial like that. Yes, I know to you the trip is a HUGE deal, but to the teacher, it's not. We have two dozen kids to take care of you are not the only one going on a trip or having other issues going on.

I am sure your kids will still have a wonderful trip, don't stress that the "surprise" is ruined. They will still love every minute of it.

 

[Hannathy]

Why does it have to be such a surprise? sounds like it is just one more stressor you don't need. And anytime you have to include people into the mix there is less chance it remains a secret. And why would the trip be spoiled? that is a bit of a stretch don't you think?

Did you send a note as soon as you realized there would be a sub? Are you prepared for all the other people who know and may say something?

even if the secret gets out I'm sure it will be a wonderful trip and that is what you need to concentrate on and realize you can't control everything.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I'm sorry that you think the teacher is a blabbermouth, but I'm a teacher & feel I must come to her defense.

First of all, we teachers have wayyyy too much going on to remember every family's little details (like this being a surprise for your kids). You state that your trip is in two weeks....I'm not sure why you had even mentioned the trip so far ahead of time. The most notice I ever need, or even told my own children's teachers we were going to WDW, is one week. I don't know why people feel the need to tell the teacher weeks in advance? What good does that do anyway? I have a student leaving for Disney this weekend & her mom told me on Wednesday. I hope her mom didn't tell me on Wednesday that it's a surprise, because if she did, I've already forgotten that part & I did give her a WDW trip journal to take with her.

With a minimum of two dozen kids in the class, I would never expect my kid's teacher to remember something trivial like that. Yes, I know to you the trip is a HUGE deal, but to the teacher, it's not. We have two dozen kids to take care of you are not the only one going on a trip or having other issues going on.

I am sure your kids will still have a wonderful trip, don't stress that the "surprise" is ruined. They will still love every minute of it.

I have to agree with this.

 

[bumbershoot]

You are under SO much stress.

And keeping this secret, lying to your kids (that you don't have the money, etc)...that's just adding another layer of stress, causing you to send a "screaming" email to a substitute teacher.

I would spring the surprise NOW. If you don't want to let them know you weren't telling them the truth, just make it seem that the teacher's mixup gave you guys a great idea, and let's go NOW!

There's no reason to put such stress on this trip. So drop part of the stress by letting them in on it. They won't be disappointed to find out now; they'll just be excited that they are going!



My mom and former stepdad did a surprise Disneyland trip; they said "no no no" all the way to the Grand Canyon, and then from AZ right up to the Disneyland exit...we asked just one more time, and they said yes, and turned off. It was great! But I have no idea HOW, and really no idea WHY, they did that to themselves. We would have enjoyed the Grand Canyon anyway, and they wouldn't have had to hear us asking and begging, pleading, etc for the Whole Entire Trip. We enjoyed the trip to Disneyland with our dad, which was NOT a surprise, just as much.

 

[bclydia]

I have to say I would be upset too. I do not think it is unreasonable to expect an adult to remember that some things are not to be mentioned to children. If the teacher cannnot keep one secret for the sake of one child amongst 24, there are bigger problems than a ruined surprise. I wouldn't have told the teacher that early, but it really should not have presented a problem. Out of 2 dozen kids, how many are being pulled out for vacation in the next few weeks? One? Maybe two?
Having said that, don't let it spoil your fun. You've covered well enough and you'll have a great trip regardless. I would word the email carefully to encourage the teacher to co-operate with you on this and not further spoil the fun.

 

[OceanAnnie]

You have been through a whole lot. I'm sorry for your troubles.

You had a great recovery for the teacher's slip up. Don't be too hard on her or yourself. If another slip up occurs, just tell your DD the teacher got her confused with another student.

Springing a secret like that is exciting and fun (when you subtract the stress). Have some back up answers ready. You can still do it. Or not. Whatever you wish. You will have a wonderful trip.

I would probably apologize to the teacher for the reaction. She didn't know how important it was, or forgot. It wasn't intentional.

 

[Allison]

If you think your trip is going to be spoiled because your kids hear about it ahead of time you are stressing way too much and need to take a step back and relax.

Sending a screaming email to the teacher and referring to the teacher as an idiot is out of line in my opinion. The teacher has a lot more important things to worry about frankly.

I hope you can relax and enjoy your trip.

 

[sara74]

I don't know why people feel the need to tell the teacher weeks in advance? What good does that do anyway?

daisyduck - I hear you as a teacher - and I hear the OP as the parent with the surprise. We are surprising our own kids in 12 days with a trip! And I never would have told the teachers before now, except in my infinite wisdom I booked our trip during conference week. That is good as we have 3 early release days and the kids will miss a little less of school that week. That is BAD because as the teachers have been firming up conference times I have had to tell both of them that we won't be able to have one (and then why we won't be having a conference!) One teacher put her hands over her ears and told me not to tell her because she's afraid she'll blow it! The other one is promising to send work home for DD but now I am afraid that DD will open the envelope on the school bus and wonder why she has the next week's spelling and math!

We even had to tell gymnastics because there is a big meet that was scheduled after we planned our trip and DD won't be in it! (OT - but total bummer as this is the last year she can do this meet due to the age limit and our team won the whole thing last year!)

FWIW - the teachers at our school are well versed in surprises. They have no problems hiding stuff from book orders for Christmas, for example. But I still have my fingers crossed that I can keep this one under wraps for a little while longer!

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think the surprise is causing you way too much stress..I would let it go and tell the kids. To go off on a sub-teacher is way over the top. Yes, someone dropped the ball in your surprise, but is sounded like the sub-teacher was just making fun conversation with your child. I am sure she shared the e-mail with the teacher and that will make a less than ideal relationship between the two of you as you work together for make-up work or whatever.

When you have to start to tell lies to your kids to cover your surprise, it is no longer worth it. I think you owe a lot of people (sub, teacher, child) an apology.

 

[toy]

mrsmarilyn I totally get why you are upset. It doesn't matter WHEN you told the teacher. It is a detail I would expect the teacher to remember. A secret like this is hard to keep even for you. Sometimes you just have to tell someone or you will explode. I'm sure she did not try to let the cat out of the bag. Take a deep breath and remember the reason you are doing this vacation. It is to put a surprise on your kids faces and to have fun. I'm soo sorry about the losses you have had to endure recently. The kids will be surprised and happy no matter when they find out. I hope it is when you want them to. Good Luck!

 

[powellrj]

If you think your trip is going to be spoiled because your kids hear about it ahead of time you are stressing way too much and need to take a step back and relax.

Sending a screaming email to the teacher and referring to the teacher as an idiot is out of line in my opinion. The teacher has a lot more important things to worry about frankly.

I hope you can relax and enjoy your trip.

I hope that you take a deep breath and relax or nobody will enjoy this trip.

 

[Cruz91]

I'm sorry that you think the teacher is a blabbermouth, but I'm a teacher & feel I must come to her defense.

--- You state that your trip is in two weeks....I'm not sure why you had even mentioned the trip so far ahead of time. The most notice I ever need, or even told my own children's teachers we were going to WDW, is one week. I don't know why people feel the need to tell the teacher weeks in advance? What good does that do anyway? I have a student leaving for Disney this weekend & her mom told me on Wednesday. I hope her mom didn't tell me on Wednesday that it's a surprise, because if she did, I've already forgotten that part & I did give her a WDW trip journal to take with her.

With a minimum of two dozen kids in the class, I would never expect my kid's teacher to remember something trivial like that. Yes, I know to you the trip is a HUGE deal, but to the teacher, it's not. We have two dozen kids to take care of you are not the only one going on a trip or having other issues going on.

Well - first I agree teachers have a ton to remember. My wife's a teacher, so I'm very aware of all the 'stuff' they have to do. I disagree with most of the rest of your statement, though. First, our school requires an alternate learning experience plan be filled out and turned in as soon as you know you're going to be missing school - and if we did so 1 week in advance, that would be WAY too short of a notice. It wouldn't be approved in time. Second, the fact that one (or two or ten) of the children are being taken out for vacation may be trivial to the teacher, but that doesn't mean she should disregard it.

In the teacher's defense - everyone makes mistakes. I'm sure that's exactly what happened. Depending on the level of effort to get in touch with the teacher (OP indicated she has been trying for a couple of weeks to contact her) - if the teacher didn't get back in touch, I think that's the bigger issue.

Normally I'm 100% pro-teacher in all situations, but in this case - I understand the OP's frustration.

By the way - we're doing the same thing. We leave in 11 days and it's a surprise. Luckily, my wife works at our kids' school - so she regularly reminds their teachers it is a surprise...

 

[badblackpug]

Did you tell the original teacher? The sub? Both? Is it possible the original teacher forgot to pass the "secret" info on to the sub? I think it was an honest slip up and that you are over-reacting. I understand your being upset, because you put a lot of planning into this, but to fire off a "screaming" email to the teacher was unnecessary. A little reminder that this trip is a surprise, and what you did to cover the slip up, would have been sufficient.

I understand you are stressed. I see from your post that you have had a difficult year. I think you should apologize to the teacher, and explain that to her, she really didn't mean any harm.

As for notifying the school. Different districts have different policies. Or it may have been a more casual inquiry such as "we are thinking about taking the girls to WDW for a surprise trip in March. Would this be an okay time as far as classroom schedule goes?

OP....relax. Please relax and enjoy your trip. Don't get overly concerned about plans and such. Don't get upset if things aren't exactly as planned. You and your kids will have a much better time if things aren't forced. Just enjoy your time in a place where we can all be more carefree and child like.

 

[frtchr]

Awesome. Another "teacher screwed up" thread.

 

[taylor3297]

Yes the teacher made a mistake. Should a screaming email be sent? No! Should a reminder email that the trip was a surprise be sent? Yes.

As others have said, you have had much stress and keeping the trip as a surprise is another stress factor.

I taught middle school for 17 years (this is my first year not teaching) and I usually had anywhere from 120-140 students. So many would be going on vacation during spring break, or other holidays, it was hard to remember which ones where supposed to be a surprise.

I hope y'all have a great trip. The kids are going to love it no matter if it is a surprise or not.

 

[hmacmahony]

wow, I think you need to take a deep breathe, and realize that the teacher saying something won't ruin your trip. If your whole enjoyment is hinging on the surprise factor, you need to get over it.
Everyone one has lots of stress in their lives, everyone has bad things happen, that doesn't entitle YOU to send a screaming email to a teacher who had a slip up. Its not up to her to keep it a secret, if you didn't want someone to possibly say something, you should of kept it a secret from everyone.

 

[princessmom29]

I have to say I would be upset too. I do not think it is unreasonable to expect an adult to remember that some things are not to be mentioned to children. If the teacher cannnot keep one secret for the sake of one child amongst 24, there are bigger problems than a ruined surprise. I wouldn't have told the teacher that early, but it really should not have presented a problem. Out of 2 dozen kids, how many are being pulled out for vacation in the next few weeks? One? Maybe two?
Having said that, don't let it spoil your fun. You've covered well enough and you'll have a great trip regardless. I would word the email carefully to encourage the teacher to co-operate with you on this and not further spoil the fun.

I am sorry, but i do not think that one lapse in memory means that there is some kind of bigger problem with a teacher. Perhaps someone else in the class has a trip and she forgot who was going when, and which one was a surprse? Teachers really do have a LOT on their plate and keeping a secret from one child is not tops on the list. Things like the child in the class that may be an abuse case, the one that is not getting fed, or the one that is basically raising his/herself and making sure they all get an education despite everything else that is going on are far more important than remembering that Johnny's disney trip is supposed to be a suprise. Believe me there are far worse things out there to be upset about. OP just be glad that you are all gonig to Disney, and give yourself a break!It doesn't have to be the perfect suprise to be a a wonderful trip.

 

[Zeebs]

Then I sat down and sent a screaming email to Miss So-and-so (who i've been trying to reach for days to discuss the very subject to make sure there were NO SLIP UPS).

Did I miss something, this to me would indicate that the teacher didn't even know it was a surprise, if you had been attempting to reach her for days to discuss it and make sure there were no slip ups.

I can understand you are upset, but I think a screaming email to the poor teacher who not only isn't your childs regular teacher will probably have plenty on her plate to remember due to taking over a new class in what also may be a new school is a bit much.

I am sure you will have a great trip regardless, if your child knows or not. Don't set your expectations too high as that will only lead to disappointment.

Kirsten

 

[Tiger926]

I'm sorry that you think the teacher is a blabbermouth, but I'm a teacher & feel I must come to her defense.

First of all, we teachers have wayyyy too much going on to remember every family's little details (like this being a surprise for your kids). You state that your trip is in two weeks....I'm not sure why you had even mentioned the trip so far ahead of time. The most notice I ever need, or even told my own children's teachers we were going to WDW, is one week. I don't know why people feel the need to tell the teacher weeks in advance? What good does that do anyway? I have a student leaving for Disney this weekend & her mom told me on Wednesday. I hope her mom didn't tell me on Wednesday that it's a surprise, because if she did, I've already forgotten that part & I did give her a WDW trip journal to take with her.

With a minimum of two dozen kids in the class, I would never expect my kid's teacher to remember something trivial like that. Yes, I know to you the trip is a HUGE deal, but to the teacher, it's not. We have two dozen kids to take care of you are not the only one going on a trip or having other issues going on.

I am sure your kids will still have a wonderful trip, don't stress that the "surprise" is ruined. They will still love every minute of it.

I'm a teacher, and I completely disagree with this, and I'm a highschool teacher, who has way more students than elementary teachers do, so lots of personal info to remember and keep confidential, and I do so each and everytime! Your implication that teachers don't really care about such things, is simply not true. I care about all details pertaining to my students - I spend more time with them than my own family some days, so I do care about them. Your bolded statements are some of the reasons why teachers continually get bad press, so if you feel this way, please don't attempt to imply that you represent all teachers, because none of that way of thinking is ever in my teaching philosophy.

This may not be a popular opinion, but many teachers are blabbermouths. I have had to speak to several other colleagues about things they've said this week - things they should not have said, and would have known not to say if they had read my memo or actually thought about what they said before they said. That being said, teachers do have lots to remember, and so I don't think the OP should go off on the teacher at all. She made a mistake, but unfortunately, it's one that I see happen very often in my school.

Elementary teachers do have more 'little' details to keep track of in terms of vacations, medical issues for students, custody arrangements, etc., than us highschool teachers, but something like a vacation should be kept quiet unless you know it's not a secret. It isn't rocket science to know that this child didn't know about the trip, since she didn't say a word about it. What little kid doesn't talk at all about going to Disney World if they know they are going?

All it would have taken is a little bit of foresight...something I see seriously lacking most everywhere I go, but the teacher still doesn't deserve to be raked over the coals for it. Hopefully, she'll think twice before discussing a big family event such as this with a student, if she doesn't indeed know all of the details known about the event.

Sorry to OP,, but I do think though that you will still have a fabulous time, if you allow yourself to.

Tiger